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Thread: This gig is getting harder - venting and interested in your experience with 3 or more

  1. #19

    Join Date
    Jun 2005
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    Default Re: This gig is getting harder - venting and interested in your experience with 3 or more

    Those with older kids I heard the other day about a family with 3 older kids and everyone had things on and the family was tied up nearly every afternoon and weekend so the parents decided the family would take a one year sabbatical. So the kids took part in activities through school but all after school and weekend activities were stopped for the year. The parents also took the year of from all extra commitments. Interesting idea.
    In theory it all sounds nice and everyone would enjoy each others company and just chill. But the reality is it wouldn't happen. My kids get on really well together but like all siblings they also have their spats and annoy each other. Going to activities/sports is their time out and gives them a chance to do something just for them. I can see the merits behind the idea but it just wouldn't work for us.

    Winter is worse for us - between the three kids we have netball and soccer on a tuesday, chess club every second wednesday, music and soccer on a thursday, netball saturday mornings and soccer sunday mornings. So its not too bad, we do have other nights where we just chill and come home. We tend not to do playdates anymore as it is too hard to co-ordinate with all their friends sports and activities. DD2 is perhaps the only one who misses out their because she doesn't want to do sport or music so therefore does get dragged around a bit. I used to feel guilty about it, and still do sometimes but then I have to remind myself that that is part and parcel of being a family.

  2. #20

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    Default Re: This gig is getting harder - venting and interested in your experience with 3 or more

    Oh Santosha you are speaking my language sista!

    I was (am) completely blindsided by just how never ending and exhausting it is to parent 3 small people. it has just been relentless. i did put it down initally to the fact that our third baby was quite unwell and that i too was very unwell from a PPH and that those factors were the cause, but now i am wondering if it is just the dynamic of three small people?

    For me, it is as well that I feel that there is no down time with them. Not to be confused with down time where they are not there, rather down time where we all sit together and enjoy quiet reading time, or craft time or something...anything! instead it seems to be a whole lot of conflicting needs and wishes (one wants to read, the other wants to dig a hole and the other just wants boob and/or cracker hahaha).

    it is frustrating me no end that i just seem to not be as present as i want to be. i KNOW that i am missing out on some of the best years with my kids and am just too darn tired and overwhelmed to find a way out. I want a more simpler life but am not sure how to get there...but if i do get there i hope there is a village! Oh how i wish i had some sort of support network of a sister or brother or mother or aunt, or even friend (i have friends but not in that 'lets just hang out and fold washing and drink copious amounts of tea for a couple of hours kinda mate lol).

  3. #21

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    Sep 2008
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    Default Re: This gig is getting harder - venting and interested in your experience with 3 or more

    Cassius, I hear there's some lovely tea drinkers in the outer east... maybe you need a tree-change

  4. #22

    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    Melbourne
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    Default Re: This gig is getting harder - venting and interested in your experience with 3 or more

    We are slowly building a village but I feel guilty using it! Ended up sending dd2 home with friends because dd1 had to be picked up early for an appointment normally she would have to leave school early or hubby leave work.

  5. #23

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    Default Re: This gig is getting harder - venting and interested in your experience with 3 or more

    OMG I detest breakfast time. Everyone is at me for different things, the big kids change what they want most days and often expect multiple courses. They want to help, and I want to let them because it's great practice and ultimately should lead them to just sorting themselves in the morning but in the short term is all cereal-across-the-bench-yoghurt-on-the-floor-screaming-because-I-wanted-the-milk-in-first. Baby is at my feet wailing because he has seen preparations start and therefore food should be in his belly, like yesterday, since he is dying of hunger having only fed 3 times over night. And amongst all this, I need coffee. JUST LET ME DRINK MY COFFEEEEE!!

    Any breakfast-time strategies, chaos-veterans?

  6. #24

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    Default Re: This gig is getting harder - venting and interested in your experience with 3 or more

    Ok. Not even nearly a chaos vet. But... I wondered whether the night before they could help you put a serve of milk into a drink bottle each in the fridge and their bowls on the bench etc ready for the morning?

  7. #25

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    Default This gig is getting harder - venting and interested in your experience with 3...

    I'm so old school in a total routine junkie. And a control freak. Totally not helpful at all. I measure out stuff and then let them help in that way until they are older. I often put cups of milk inside the fridge with bowls of cereal on the bench already poured so they could help that way. I also had Woden toast tongs. I also had everyone take turns. And one day it would be DD's turn first and the next day it would be DS's turn first. They still do alternating now and they bargain all the time with tv shows and seating places so it obviously worked for them. I also made "snack boxes" in lunch boxes with snacks that could keep then going till I had my coffee and was coherent and patient.

    This could totally go against your styles. Or be helpful. Hopefully the latter.

  8. #26

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    Default Re: This gig is getting harder - venting and interested in your experience with 3...

    Breakfast can be pretty hectic here with 5, but most of the time the older kids are happy to wait and I guess that they have been witness to so many mummy hysterical moments that they just wait their turn. Ds2 usually is up before 5am and the others don't get up till after 5.30 so at least he has his milk in his belly.

    Usually they line up and wait their turn. Or if they keep asking then I will get them to start the toast, get their bowl etc and then just suck it up and wait basically lol

    Oh and I have my coffee at 5am lol

  9. #27

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    Default Re: This gig is getting harder - venting and interested in your experience with 3 or more

    My older 2 are old enough to get their own but when they were littler I would put their milk in a small bottle and organise their cereal. I also have appropriate stuff on a shelf in the fridge ( the lowest one in our fridge over freezer) so if they don't feel like cereal they could have yoghurt and fruit.

  10. #28

    Default Re: This gig is getting harder - venting and interested in your experience with 3 or more

    Santosha, that sounds tough. In our house, DD1 (8) is up first and has been taking care of her own breakfast for years (out of necessity - I don't get out of bed before 7am). Baby wakes earlier, but we snuggle in bed, she feeds, etc. She's hanging out for breakfast once she's dressed, but if I'm lucky, DP or DD1 have already made me a cup of tea.

    The little ones and I all have porridge on weekdays so I make it together. DD2 sleeps longer than the rest of us, I bf, change and dress her and then her breakfast needs reheating. At least it's kinda worked out that they're all on slightly different schedules. I'm the last to get dressed, but I'm lucky enough to be fed and watered at least!



    I think as they grow, DD1 and DD3 will be up together. At least that will mean DD1 can do breakfast for the both of them. DD2 and I can then sleep longer - I am so hanging out for that day!

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