One small step toward better parenting

:

---

So how did you go Mummies? Was there baking and park visits and calm voices and logging off BB? Hope you all had great days.

Us? Unmitigated FAIL. Poor DD smacked her face on the side of the pool at her swimming lesson and remained teary and volatile for the remainder of the day - guessing she had a nasty headache or at least a sore nose. I tried being fun chatty Mummy in the car and was met with a scowl and a repeated 'music on please' until I realised that fun and engaging were not what she was after at that moment!

---

Lol.. this made me smile. Don't get me wrong.. I totally understand what you mean, it's just funny (as in ironic) that so often our resolve to do things better and differently are met with a totally different reality than the one we thought we'd get! After a crazy first year with DD where I was so strung out I was often in cranky Mummy/ cranky wife mode, I found a lifeline in a book called 'Buddhism for Mothers' by Sarah Napthali. Among it's gems I've been really trying to live the question 'what does this moment require of me?' which helps when DD wants me to put the funny chicken hat on for the millionth time or sing the wheels of the bus while I'd rather be cooking dinner or checking BB!

This is a beautiful thread Santosha, thanks for starting it. My resolve for today is to really spend time playing with DD instead of setting up distractions for her to play with herself. We're going to play the piano and read some stories (it's pouring outside here and she already has the sniffles) and we're going to make a cubby house! Can't wait until she wakes up.

We did really well yesterday, we did some crafty stuff in the morning followed by a walk to the park, poor DS was disappointed there were no other kids at the playground but it got us out of the house and we had a good walk together.

Today's effort is not so crash hot thanks to a sleepless night with DS2, however DS1 is still having a good day playing with his little friend down the road, I have fantastic neighbours who r happy to take DS1 for a play and we return the favour, it's a god send on days like today!

Tomorrow will be a better day :)

This morning I have cooked muffins with DD1 and took her for a walk around the block where she collected about 100 sticks :)

We were successful... car has been delayed till Friday grr haha! Today, we are keeping the TV off. Was a rough morning because that is usually when I'm feeling the worst and had a little chuck but we managed so should be smooth sailing.. till the afternoon lethargy hits at least haha.

We did ok. I wasn't as patient as I could have been, but they were stoked.
I'll definitely do it again and look for other quick afternoon projects to set up beforehand for them, I just need to make sure dinner is sorted first.
Oh, and for the record, the biscuits we did make were so hard the kids had to dip them in milk to eat them

tomorrow, hopfully i will have shaken this cold and i wont feel like ive been hit by a bus, i promise to cut my computer time right down, and not put the tv on till playschool in the afternoon.
we picked oranges together and had a 'picnic'...read: ate our lunch in the garden, which dd loves. but i have serious velcro baby at the moment so that makes everything just that little bit harder.....shouldnt be an excuse though.

Aaand here I am again. Pregnant, grumpy and checking out. Overwhelmed by how far I fall behind my unreasonably high standards most days...

Time to find the baby steps again. Both kids are sick and it's so tempting to just dump them in front of the TV for half the day as they're utterly whingy and volatile. But will try to crack out the playdoh and paints.

Anyone else in a parenting funk?
Any clever suggestions for quiet but engaging activities for snotty preschoolers?!

I hear you, been in such a stress over finding new place to live, add in the heat wave we had, things not so good here. We're all snappy and impatient, my house is chaos of mess and half packed boxes, need to get back on track.

Great thread!! I feel like a bit of a slack mummy, morning sickness and all that add on toilet training so I don't want to leave the house.

I think I'll take DS out the back for some painting today and make an effort to get on the trampoline with him :)

Ooh great Will be following for some great ideas.

We've got swimming this morning, so Will make an effort to be organised so we don't feel rushed out the door. And hopefully we can get there a bit early so ds can play before the lesson starts.

:

---

Time to find the baby steps again. Both kids are sick and it's so tempting to just dump them in front of the TV for half the day as they're utterly whingy and volatile. But will try to crack out the playdoh and paints.

---

Sit down and watch a movie with them? Make some pop corn and have a lazy arvo together. Talk, read, watch a movie, sing some silly songs, write a story together. Just be with them and enjoy them for the afternoon. If they're not 100% well, then that will probably be all they feel like doing.



I have been a pretty disengaged parent to my 4 1/2yo DS1, particularly when DS2 is sleeping (2-3 hours a day). I kind of have no idea how to play with him...Now that DD goes to school every day, I find it hard to do things he's interested in. DD loved painting and play dough and drawing and threading. All things I kind of enjoyed and could do with a certain amount of interest (and DS1 did it all too because he absolutely idolises his big sister!).

Where as DS1 isn't so into that stuff and is off with the fairies after 10 mins of doing it. I can cope with lego and trains too, which we do often, and I think he's getting bored of, because when I asked him if he wanted to play lego yesterday, his response was...'no thanks mum, you can. I'm just gonna watch tv'. He doesn't nag me like DD does either. She would be at me all the time to do stuff with her. So now it's easy for me to not do things because he's not asking me every 5 mins to be with him. He's happy to play games on the tablet or watch tv. But I need to really cut that all down.

So tomorrow (today is pre school day!) I will engage with him. Turn off the tv and tablet and computer. Let him choose things to do and do it with him, no matter how boring, messy or tiresome I find it, because it's about him.

:

---

Time to find the baby steps again. Both kids are sick and it's so tempting to just dump them in front of the TV for half the day as they're utterly whingy and volatile. But will try to crack out the playdoh and paints.

---

Sit down and watch a movie with them? Make some pop corn and have a lazy arvo together. Talk, read, watch a movie, sing some silly songs, write a story together. Just be with them and enjoy them for the afternoon. If they're not 100% well, then that will probably be all they feel like doing.



I have been a pretty disengaged parent to my 4 1/2yo DS1, particularly when DS2 is sleeping (2-3 hours a day). I kind of have no idea how to play with him...Now that DD goes to school every day, I find it hard to do things he's interested in. DD loved painting and play dough and drawing and threading. All things I kind of enjoyed and could do with a certain amount of interest (and DS1 did it all too because he absolutely idolises his big sister!).

Where as DS1 isn't so into that stuff and is off with the fairies after 10 mins of doing it. I can cope with lego and trains too, which we do often, and I think he's getting bored of, because when I asked him if he wanted to play lego yesterday, his response was...'no thanks mum, you can. I'm just gonna watch tv'. He doesn't nag me like DD does either. She would be at me all the time to do stuff with her. So now it's easy for me to not do things because he's not asking me every 5 mins to be with him. He's happy to play games on the tablet or watch tv. But I need to really cut that all down.

So tomorrow (today is pre school day!) I will engage with him. Turn off the tv and tablet and computer. Let him choose things to do and do it with him, no matter how boring, messy or tiresome I find it, because it's about him.

DS2 and I spent 10 minutes or so on Sunday kicking a ball to each other up and down the hallway (naughty I know, but who made the rules about no balls in the house?). He was in hysterics and it took so little effort on my behalf and I found out that I actually quite enjoyed it. Then we sat down together and read books. They are so easy to please sometimes. I let so many of these "moments" pass way to my mother when DS1 was little like this. I was too busy - working, doing things I thought were important. I'm so determined not to miss out with DS2, they are little for such a short time. It is easy though to plop them in front of the telly, but I find that when I'm ignoring him (cooking, cleaning, watching telly myself or on the computer) he starts to act up. Now I save the "me time" for when he's in bed.

Love the thread!

So heartening to hear others are feeling the same and taking your own baby steps.

It's been two steps forward, three steps back today and it's only 11am. Managed some pretend play and dancing (I know, hardly sedentary but it was DDs request) but then ended up cracking it with DS as he is repeatedly hitting everyone and everything ATM and he really hurt me. Turned playschool on to try and cool off and regroup and may have left the telly on for 20 mins or so after it'd finished. Went outside with them... but got distracted with trying to multitask and pull weeds. And now they're eating an I'm checked out again on the iPad. :doh:

Hmmmm.... not ideal. But not hopeless either and I've still got room to be engaged and present as I put them to bed and throughout this arvo. Just keep swimming....