As A Parent, What I'm Really Saying When I Say .........................

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Do not touch the powercord on the vac = keep pulling on the powercord until mums head spins around 3 times and explodes

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Ha! This one is classic not just powercord on vac but all powercords!

"Dont drag your sister across the floor" = "Grab extra tight and drag her even faster!"

"Dont stick that knife in the powerpoint!" = "Stick a fork in it instead!"

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It doesn't matter what I say, what she thinks I am saying is... "Okay, sure, but what you don't realise is I am nine so I know everything. So thank you for your direction and advice but actually, I'm going to do it my way, in my own time because, while I love you, really I know everything there is to know so you are pretty annoying..."

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Bahahahah OMG I relate to this! My 9yr old is the same & would have no trouble saying this to me in those almost exact words

When DD makes a mess Dont move, stand still apparently means: run around and touch everything you can possibly get your hands on..

Put your dirty clothes IN the basket apparently means: everywhere BUT the basket including RIGHT NEXT TO THE DAMN THING ON THE FLOOR.. have a guess which lazy PIA im refering to ;)

oh, and

Dont let her have anything to eat/or go to sleep.. dinner is nearly ready apparently means: let her go and get whatever she wants OR give her great big comfy snuggles that send her off to sleep RIGHT before i bring dinner out.. thanks!

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Put your dirty clothes IN the basket apparently means: everywhere BUT the basket including RIGHT NEXT TO THE DAMN THING ON THE FLOOR.. have a guess which lazy PIA im refering to

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Bahahaha DS1 Does this it drives me crazy