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"I don't think you'll ever be able to lick your own penis mate, no matter how hard you try (pause) yes I know it's disappointing but that's just the way it is"
Bonus points for keeping a straight face while I said it even though I was doing these ones inside :rofl:
I literally laughed out loud at this!:
And this :rofl::
Stop Dutch ovening yourself
No I don't want to smell your fart
The cat does not need a bath then go in the freezer
Stop sticking your fingers in your undies then sniffing them
"It's all right, your penis will go down of it's own accord later, you don't have to cry about it."
"Woovari, Wa and Hinginah need to go to bed now."
There are some corkers in there :ROFL:
Another one is 'don't put the dog on the trampoline'
'yes I'm still your mummy, I just had a hair cut'
Hilarious! I love them all!
The trampoline one rings true with my DD but with our chickens! haha
'Don't put the cat in the washing machine' That was the most recent
To my 19 year old son...."I'm sorry if you come home this weekend you will have to go and stay with your girlfriend"
We had visitors - all our beds were full....
Do not try and put those peas up your nose
No I will not peg you to the clothes line and swing you around
Planting your lollie snake in the ground will not make a lollie snake tree grow (geez that is a mouthful, trying saying that really fast lol!)
:rofl: I've said this one too. ^^:
Not me, but DH to DD: "I don't know if that is dog poopie or pussy-cat poopie, so just put it back down on the ground where you found it."
Something I find myself saying all too often: "Doing wees is not a spectator sport. Get out."
And: "No, you can't sit in the bathroom and watch while mummy has a bath."
No I will not smell your finger.... This happenned last night when DD told me she had an itchy bottom so once she scratched it she sniffed her finger, then asked me to smell her finger as well... I said no so she then went to daddy and asked him to sniff her finger, daddy was repulsed by the offer :)
"Earwax isn't a body part"
Full blown conversations as a cat. Never thought that was possible but apparently it is ;) DD and I are fluent in meow.
Today i was surprised to have to say "please don't brush you teeth and eat toast at the same time".
No you can't stand on your brother's face.
Said while trying to stop Miss 2 standing on the tennis racket currently resting on Master 8's face, all because he'd sat on it earlier bare bottomed and gotten a nice pattern on the skin.
Haha, these are great!
pmsl. i cant wait to see what DD makes me come out with!
"Stop chewing on my shoes"
"No that old man isn't mummy"
"You are not leaving the house wearing that" Didn't think i would be saying that for a long time but when she threw a tantrum because she wanted to wear leggings, gumboots and just a hat to the shops i had to say it :rofl:
Lol LMS, I often find myself telling DS that <insert random person> isn't mummy/daddy
Don't stick your foot in your sisters vagina (to dd2 while havong a bath)