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My kids are 5 and 7. We all eat together at the table, around 5.30-6pm. Miss P is usually awake and she sits at the corner of the table in her swing. The kids can choose how much they eat, but as a PP said sometimes they have to have 'three more mouthfuls of...' in order to get dessert. My kids like their vegies so usually they don't need to be encouraged. They have to stay at the table until everyone has finished eating and they have to put their napkin in their lap and their knife and fork together on the plate when they are finished. At the end of the meal they clear the table to the bench but DH or I load the dishwasher and do the rest of the cleaning up. I usually set the table but DD likes to help sometimes. The telly is turned off and we talk about the best and worst part of our days - it's a really good way to keep in touch with what is going on at school!
The kids have afternoon tea when they get home from school and then nothing until dinner. DS is a grazer and would be happy to fill up on rice crackers and cheese and never eat dinner! Dessert is usually yoghurt, ice cream, fruit or whatever I have been baking. Sometimes I make their favourite - pikelets with jam and cream - about once a month.
Friday and Saturday nights are more relaxed and we sometimes eat on trays in front of the telly while the kids sit at their kiddie table near us. Funny, they actually prefer the big table and no telly!
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We sorta have traditions I guess. When I was a kid my dad was the dinner rules Nazi. Granted as a result my manners are excellent, but really has it influenced how my family interacts now we've all grown up....no. My siblings have eshewed all manner of dinner tradition/rules on purpose as a result, and TBH they are no different to me.
We generally have dinner around the same time, but are flexible.
We do sit at a table, but that might be the dinner table, the coffee table, the kids table (yes even me) or outside. Usually it's the big table though.
I do not ever use food as a reward. I wish DH would remember it sometimes, but both of us come from morbidly obese families and i really want food to be about pleasure, not stuffing yourself because you have to to get what you want.
My kids don't have to eat everything on their plates either. Usually they do, but I want them to recognise hungry, satiated, and full. I can't determine that for them so I don't feel qualified to force them to eat more than they feel necessary.
That said however, if a paultry effort is made at dinner on the guise of being full, nothing else is allowed afterwards.
No-one in this house is allowed to say 'I don't like it' and refuse a food unless they have actually tried it.
I want the kids to find food social as well so encourage them to chat. DH was one of those children not allowed to talk until all his food was gone and as a result he has no idea about full and empty, wolfs his food down so fast he doesn't taste it and feels like he needs to keep eating until it reaches his belly (ie so too much) and has no table or conversation skills. His siblings are the same.
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I had to fight the Man and his Boy to get to the following:
*Dinner time is 6pm (as long as Mummy can do that!),
*No hats at the table,
*Nobody leaves the table until everyone is finished,
*Avoid feeding the kids after 4 or 4.30pm,
*Children (including the Boy) are encouraged to help: set the table, get drinks/drink bottles, and clear the table, (well, S&R are encouraged to help, the Boy is 'expected' to help)
*No television (turned off) but may be radio,
*If plates can't be emptied, then you need to have eaten at least a decent amount (that amount depends entirely on the situation at the time),
*No dessert (or anything else) if plates not emptied,
*If the first glass of drink is finished, then you need to eat more food before a refill.
*Ask to leave the table,
*Dinner conversation encouraged, as long as you still eat your dinner!
Before, it was eating at all hours of the evening (or early morning if it was just the Man and I!), tv ALWAYS on (still happens occasionally! grr!), bad manners, etc.
We don't say grace, but I have no doubt that as Steph gets a bit bigger, it will be something that she will do, at least from time to time. She has a genuine interest in religion and prayer, so I definitely won't quash that.
Lilias; I love your picnic dinners! I might just borrow that idea....
Just re-reading my post.... I feel a bit autocratic :hide: :redface:
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We really have no rules out of the norm of sitting & eating, DS who is almost 2 eats at about 5pm as he is in bed at 6pm, DD's Eat at the table at about 6-630pm I sit at the table, DH isnt home for any meals & if he is its very rare, (except for his days off) they dont have to eat it all i dont force it, if they dont like what im making i generally make them something else!