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Thread: Terrible two's. What was your experience?

  1. #1

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    Default Terrible two's. What was your experience?

    My dd is 2.5 years old and has been such a handful lately. Actually for the past 6 months and even more so in the past week. Her behavior is sending me towards a mental breakdown! She will fight me on every. little. thing. From the colour bowl to he cereal in it. To the clothes she wears and the nappy or knickers debate. She tells me she wants Vegemite and then has a total meltdown when I give it. So I get something else and she screams for the Vegemite. She is sooking all day from sun up to sun down and it's driving me nuts. Right now I can hear her throwing her little sand bucket full of water out of the bath. Because she has constantly been told off for this to no avail. She will smack me in the face for no apparent reason. I tell her no, it's not very nice, how would you like it it someone did this to you etc, etc, etc. Nothing works! She is toilet training and she did so well for the first 2 weeks, using the toilet all by herself. Great at daycare using the toilet too. But now she just poohs in her undies, puts her hands in it and says 'look mummy, pooh" while she squishes between her fingers laughing. I know she knows better and she is not just 'exploring' her bodily functions anymore. That ship has already sailed.
    Argh, so is this normal terrible two behavior or have I just spawned an evil child from hell?

  2. #2

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    Default Re: Terrible two's. What was your experience?

    Totally normal from my experience.
    It's a mix of trying to be independent being frustrated and finding out what the boundaries are.
    I've read a lot and tried some different strategies and seem to be getting somewhere although some days I'm wishing bed time would hurry up!
    I find the more tired DD is the worst it is which reinforce that she's not able to control herself!
    The only advice I have is be consistent and firm around boundaries, look for good fun activities that not only tire her out physically but also allow her to mentally learn new things (we do new words, games about remembering activity and talking about it, red/green traffic lights and that kind of thing) and be consistent even when you've said no 500 times don't weaken on ask 501
    This too shall pass!

  3. #3

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    Default Re: Terrible two's. What was your experience?

    Sounds like my niece, she's 3.5 yrs now but went through a really trying patch around 2.5-3 yrs. She did the poo thing, used to hide somewhere and put her hands in it etc. It was a control thing for her, eventually they stopped it by saying that she would need to wear big girl undies for their upcoming snow trip... not before a lot of 'accidents' though.
    She got very whingey and needy, and would turn it on for her mum and dad even if she'd spent the day with her grandma and been fine. For her it was a way of showing she really needed some one-on-one time with her mum, some time to play and bond again. My 2.5 yr old ds is doing the same with me atm and I was able to spend some extra time with him yesterday and already his behaviour seemed to immediately change for the better. I feel bad bc I know it's what he needs but I can't give it to him the way I used to when it was just him & me. I know it's not always possible to drop everything and give her that time, but maybe take the chance if you get to.
    Can you let her in to the kitchen to choose her own bowl, maybe put a bottom drawer filled with her stuff? (Bowls, plates, cups, cutlery) so she can have a bit of control? Can you let her help you make the sandwich? I give ds a blunt butter knife or one of his knives, let him dig out some butter and try to spread... then it's mummy's turn (then the butter actually gets spread [emoji6]), then ds's turn for Vegemite (peanut butter in our house!) etc. They really love that stuff. We are getting 'big boy' from ds all the time now... even if he gets told off he tells us 'big boy' - like he can do what he wants bc he's a big boy now! Lol.
    Try and stay calm and choose your battles, I've learnt that you can't argue with a 2 yr old... it's mind bending! Try and distract her from 'bad behaviours' (smacking you in face, tipping water on floor). I try and react swiftly and calmly (not all the time obviously). And try not to take it personally, she doesn't do it to annoy you (even though it feels that way), she's not that clever yet. Something my sister told me the other day (she works with young children/children with autism/behavioural issues) is good behaviours are needs being met, bad behaviours are needs not being met. I'm not saying you're not meeting her needs, it's just something I try to remember when I'm in the middle of ds's bad behaviours... keeps me a little bit more calm.
    Sorry, turned in to a monster post, but I think it's bc I'm going through similar issues!! Hugs. Xx

  4. #4

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    Default Re: Terrible two's. What was your experience?

    I think it's a time issue too. I just don't have time to always let her 'spread the butter' etc. Sometimes yes, and we do have some good quality time when I'm not at work. At the moment it's asking for the toilet as we are almost out the door and then fluffing around in there for 15 minutes with no wees or poohs and just half a roll of toilet paper on the floor and 8 flushes later!
    Andie, I have to disagree that she doesn't do things to annoy me! If I put emphasis on something that I don't want her to do (smacking in the face etc) she will immediately do it several times over. But if I just let her do it she will get bored and eventually stop. Even if it means half a roll of toilet paper on the floor.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Terrible two's. What was your experience?

    I'm learning that this is standard 2.5 yo behaviour. I believe a lot of what they do is to test you. With my DS I find some days are harder than others. Sleep & meals play big part, I find if DS is a bit overtired or its getting close to meal time he becomes very difficult to communicate/deal with. When he's well rested & full he is like a different boy!

    Sorry I don't have any real advice, just sympathy because I know it can be extremely frustrating.

  6. #6

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    Default Re: Terrible two's. What was your experience?

    I can sympathize. Its really is a challenging time for both mums and bubs.

    I feel like my son is regressing He has now become addicted to his dummy which was only for sleep and he was happy to put in a cup on his bedside table when he woke and never looked at it until bed time. Now he goes and gets it and his Mickey Mouse and carries them around the house. We have also been toilet training for the last 4 months and was doing really well. No accidents in almost 6 weeks and now this last weekend he wet three times. Once straight after getting off the toilet after refusing to go even when he told me he wanted to go. He then went to his bedroom and wet his pants. Talk about frustration overload I have taken him to get a check up and am waiting for results.

    This age can be so good and so crazy at the same time. I like that he can communicate with me but its frustrating when I know he knows what I am asking and he refuses. Definitely pushing the boundaries. Eating has become a challenge and I know its all about DS wanting to control something. He also doesn't like the pram and wants to walk or get carried everywhere. Also challenging!

    Hang in there Marley...apparently they grow out of it


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