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I've never smoked, but i did used to work in smoking cessation for the NHS, helping people to quit.
In terms of what it does to your body, nicotine is AS ADDICTIVE as heroin. But because it is legal and widely used, people who want to quit and find it hard have a lot of guilt piled onto them. You are not imagining it. It is really, really hard.
But the good news is that anyone who wants to quit (smoking or heroin) can if they get the right assistance. Quitting on your own is very hard, it's far better to have counselling and/or company - there may be quitting programmes you can join where you can talk to other people about the struggles and triumphs of the quitting journey. Most doctors are reluctant to prescribe NRT (nicotine replacement therapy- patches, gum, etc.) to pregnant women because the stimulation of nicotine in any form increases the risk of miscarriage, but if you are a heavy smoker the risks of products like the nicorette microtab (which is low-dose and can be used only when you're desperate, rather than a patch which you wear all the time) are outweighed by the benefits of you quitting. It is always worth asking what help there is available, don't struggle on alone trying to quit this horribly addictive drug and don't let other people make you feel guilty about the fact you smoke when you are trying to quit.
The usual problems for the baby are reduced blood-flow through the placenta which can lead to slower growth, and chemical stiumlation which can lead to premature birth, BUT when a woman is very stressed she can make massive amounts of adrenalin within her own body which have similar detrimental effects and (some studies have shown) can even change the baby's brain as to how it will cope with stress after birth. Sometimes having one cigarette really is the lesser of two evils. Ideally life should not be so stressful that people need to smoke to cope, but bad things happen to good people. People get injured, fired, killed, ripped off, every day. If something awful happens and you reach for the cigarettes it's important to move FORWARD from that into your quit, and not dwell on beating yourself up for being "bad".
For those of us who smoke during pregnancy but quit before birth, breastfeeding appears to COMPLETELY negate any damage to the foetus (fully-breast fed babies whose mothers smoked for at least 2 months during pregnancy but then quit before birth show no differences to infants whose mothers never smoked, the SIDS asthma and excema risks seem to be negated by boobie feeding) so feeding options can be a good place to start if one is feeling guilt or that one wants to undo any potential harm - there are lots of positive steps that can be taken from cutting down to quitting to breastfeeding.
For those of you who have quit and are missing the 3 minute smoke breaks in your day: how important is your child's welfare? In the old days you would make them safer by going away from them to smoke. They NEED unstressed mummies! This morning you make your coffee and you make sure the kids are safe and you pop out for a mumma-break for a few minutes. It was important not to smoke around them, it is MORE important that you are able to keep your sanity, time-out is a valuable weapon in the war on stress and exhaustion. Take your break with a light heart, it really IS for the good of your kids.
Bx