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With my first bub i had every one around and coming to stay with us in our tiny 2 bed house, it was so stressful for me and by the time everyone left i was a mess.
I would tell people to come and visit while you are in the hospital, at least that way you dont have to worry about everyone invading your space and then tell them that while your Dh is home you dont want anyone to stay as you want to get to know your bub and have some time to your selves to get to know each other and get into a bit of a routine, although your dont mind visiters as long as they ring you first to see if it is alright to come around.
If you are close to your mum and feel you might need her there than by all means have her but mabe tell her befor hand that if you think you are coping and would like some space you might ask her to leave so please dont be offfended or take it personaly, at least that way she would be prepared and then not hurt by your request.
Good luck
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On having mums or MILs around - I think it all depends on their attitude. My mother has the view that new mothers don't need their baby looked after - they need their house cleaned and meals cooked. She is firmly of the view that the mother and baby need time alone without a PITA interfering - this is probably due to the fact that her own mother wasa takeover-merchant where I was concerned. Sooooo, I cautiously suggest that if you have a mum or MIL of GF who can be TRUSTED enough to be like this then it would be a bonus to have them around.
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I had DH home for the first 2 weeks and our parents cautiously popped in during that time but mainly left us to ourselves which was great...then DH went back to work and i had a few meltdowns over the phone to mum and she came over - mainly to give me a chance to sleep when Izzy wouldnt! Now my MIL pops in two nights a week with dinner (I know how can you say no!!) and my mum visits/helps once a week. Because I had a caesar too mum would do the vacuuming etc too. Ive learnt to say no or we dont do that in a kind but firm way too!!!! Blabbing now - good luck!!!!
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My mum was a godsend when I had the girls (unfortunately she died before Riley was born) When I had DD2 we lived in Darwin so she flew up for the week before the birth and stayed for a couple of weeks after, my dad came up when DD was born and stayed from then. Mum was brilliant, she never ever told me what to do or questioned my mothering and just did practical helpful things. I agree its completely dependant on your relationship with your mum /MIL how you work things, everyone is different.
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I couldnt imagine having anyone else interfere in what i am doing, I am glad to be left alone to muddle it through.
I am extremely close to my Mum but I still wnat my family to be MY family!
I had Indah on Tuesday Morning went home on Thursday morning, Dh stayed home til Monday & then I was able to settle in with her & myself & I will be doing the same once Zyon arrives!
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My DH will be taking time off work - although i dont think it will be full weeks as he runs his families business. So it will be a couple of days here and there.
My mum lives about 30 mins away and MIL lives 5 mins away and i am sure i am going to be chasing them away with a stick. I am like a few of the PP's, i feel i will want time to myself. If i need help i will ask for it. But knowing my mum and MIL they will be harping well meaning advice at me which isnt what i want.
I am dreading it already actually. But then i am a worrier and stress myself over these types of things way too early.
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When I had my second I tried to be wonder woman, I had DD vaginally on the Thursday evening, came home Saturday lunchtime. Had Sunday with My DH and then monday was left with my then 3 yr old DS and newborn DD.
When DH got home from work I was a blubbering mess...considering it was also day 5 (baby blue day for me). He immediately got in the car and went and picked up his Mother who came to stay for the next five days.
She was a godsend, as she amused DS and cooked meals etc. She also had had 6 children in her time, and was wonderful at leaving my new DD and me alone.
This time around I think I should be ok. It will be an achievement though getting DS & DD to school by 830am, but I guess it will come down to being organised the night before, just in case new bubba and I have a sleepless night.
Bridee I think its a great idea to invite your parents after DH goes back to work. That gives you and DH and Bubs time to bond as a family.
GOODLUCK!
