To find out or not to find out......that is the question

No, I didn't find out with DD. I had no desire to buy specific colours or decorate the nursery specific. Everything was neutral and we have added to it DD room since so it is more feminine. I don't know if I'd find out when we have another baby. In someways I'd like to b/c I have kept alot of DD clothes and things, so if it is a boy I'd sell or donate it but like Amy said, we are doing IVF now so you know where everything is at in your cycle and it is really invasive. I don't think DH wants to know so I probably won't for his sake.

The first time I didn't mind either way. I'm glad we found out those. Didn't tell many people, mostly just close family. I still bought gender neutral clothes though. Where as with DS2 I had to find out. To prepare and plan. We had rules though, we both had 2 people we told but they couldn't share with anyone else, so still a surprise for almost everyone. I don't think I could have waited especially since it wasn't an easy pregnancy like DS1's was so it helped me get through the tough parts.

If there are anymore kids for me, I'll find out again and keep it mostly a secret.

I found out with both DS1 & DS2 because I just couldn't stand the suspense and because I am a control freak and I have to know everything all the time, lol. I will also be finding out with this little peanut. It helps me to bond with my babies :)

DP and I have decided that that when I get UTD (hopefuly am now :lol:) That we wont find out, we want it to be a surprise. I was undecided until reading some of these answers and yes, I would like to know in advance to get ready, but at the same time I want to be surprised when the time comes :)

We were never ones for wanting to find out, but that changed.

#1 we didnt find out and it was lovely, though i always had this "knowing" that she was a girl :)
#2 we didnt want to find out again but little mr exposed himself to us all in a big way on the ultrasound and there was no hiding what he was.
#3 we decided to find out, not really sure why, but we did.
#4 we wanted to find out but she crossed her legs and had the cord between her legs for good measure, so we got a lovely surprise when she was born.
#5 we decided to find out.
#6 by now we can read ultrasounds without being told what we are having.
#7 same as above

Its lovely having a surprise but its also good to know what colours etc to be buying and what you need. Particularly when #7 was a boy after a string of 5 girls in a row, we had to buy everything for him as over the course of 5 girls we had gone from having lots of neutrals to some neutrals to everything pink.

We never told anyone the names of any of our babies until they were born and we didnt tell the sex either, except for with #7 :)

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I had to know because I'm a control freak and wanted to get everything sorted out before he arrived.;) We kept our name a secret until he was born though.:D

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Same + my husband hates surprises!

All though for number 2 we have made the decision to have a surprise! (will see how I go with that!)


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I found out because after 7 years of fertility treatment and never knowing if it would work or if I would ever have a baby, I wanted to be sure of something!

DD1- We found out, I wanted to set up the nursery.... Though I was told boy till my 36 week ultrasound and I mentioned boy and the lady was like "um it's a girl".
DS- we found out cause he was going to be our last and I really wanted one of each (I know it shouldn't matter) and when we were told boy I knew it really was cause I seen the "part".
DD2- I found out cause she was to my new partner, a surprise baby and my new partner and I had separated in the beginning of the pregnancy. I had not one baby thing as I got rid of it all cause I didn't want anymore kids.
#4- I'm having ultrasound next week, don't think we are going to find out. I think it's another girl. I think DP would like a boy as it's def my last and DD2 is his only other child so one of each for him.

Lol redrobinridinghood to the wanting to be sure of something! Like Zee we were told one sex only to discover later in the pregnancy it was the other ;) but we still decided to find out for this one and I'm pretty sure they're not wrong abut another boy this time, there were very clear boy bits!!

DD we planned to find out at 20 weeks because we wanted to know! We ended up finding out at 12 weeks after we had CVS, we were so stressed and upset that we wanted something positive to come out of it, so we found out from the chromosomal analysis.

DS, we also planned to find out at 20 weeks, because I wanted to be prepared with clothes - was I washing and getting ready all DD's old stuff? Or did I need to buy boy stuff? We ended up finding out at 12 weeks again, but not because of CVS, because our little man was in a good position. We didn't tell anyone until it was confirmed at 20 weeks though.

If we have another, we won't find out. I want one surprise - although DH says it can only be a surprise once and whether that is at 12 weeks, 20 or 40, does it matter? But I want one time where DH can hold the baby proudly aloft and shout "IT'S A..." whatever it is! :D

For us i think it was choice and timing.

With DS1 we didn't find out and it was wonderful.

With DS2 we chose to find out, there were a couple of outside factors but planning wasn't one of them. It turned out that i felt a lovely bonding knowing DS2 was a boy.

We found out with DD also. We tried to keep it a surprise but the temptation was too much and knowing the bonding feeling i had i wanted it again. Knowing DD was a girl was wonderful.

ETA both times when we found out we didn't reveal that we knew. I told a select few as i couldn't help myself but it was still a surprise for everyone. Even once they were born i still didn't let one to many that we knew.

we haven't found out either time. neither of us wanted to, which was lucky!

this time was close though - i had a cvs & one doctor didn't think & just gave us the full results (which include ALL chromosomes so can definitively tell you the sex at 13 weeks). i hadn't wanted to know until i knew the info was in our house! DP has far better self control & hid it from me until it was time to pass them on to the hospital. i'm so glad i didn't (couldn't!) look now.

We didn't find out either time. Although i get antsy towards the end, i am glad i haven't found out each time. The surprise at the end is worth waiting for. And it is lovely ringing people once bub has arrived and letting them know.

We found out with DS - it was just the excitement of it all, after ttc for quite a while. I wanted to be able to call the baby something other than 'belly bean' and start the bonding process as early as possible. The nursery was gender neutral, though tbh I'm not sure it would've been gender neutral if we thought we were having a girl...

We kept the name a secret so we had a surprise to share with everyone (though it took 12+ hours after he was born and numerous phone calls before anyone actually asked us what his name was or DH remembered to tell anyone, lol!). I couldn't help but feel that finding out the gender as well as examining this gorgeous newborn baby all at the same time would've been too overwhelming for me personally. Having a baby in the first place was huge, let alone adding having an 'unknown' baby - I wanted to be as prepared as I possibly could, mentally and physically. I also wanted to be able to take DS home in gender specific clothes that I'd picked myself, and I couldn't have done that otherwise. I wanted a name picked out and ready to go and that was a huge, huge task when we only had boys names to go through. I can only imagine how much longer it would've taken if we'd needed a girls name on standby too, lol! In other words, I like to be organised!

If we have a second, I won't be so anxious about the 'unknown' (as I'm guessing it would be with you). However, I think I'd still prefer to find out, to be able to start bonding, to have at least one gender specific outfit, to pack away the 'boy' clothes if it's a girl and to mentally prepare myself. I also feel there could be a bit of gender disappointment for me, so having time to get used to one or the other would be good. If we did find out, we'd rethink how/if we told everyone else though, because as a pp mentioned, it didn't feel very special reeling it off in a series of phone calls...

I love, love, love Rosey's idea of having the sonographer write the gender on a card and opening it at a special lunch or ceremony too. That would make it really special.

Can't wait to hear what you decide to do...:)

Wow….so many replies.
Thank you everyone for sharing. It’s given me lots more to think about :lol: Not sure it’s helped me make a decision either way, bit it’s given me a lot more to think about :doh:

We find out with ds. I may have id dh wasnt so adament on a surprise. We only had 20wk scan so not much temptation.

The surprise was great.

This time again id prolly find out if it was my choice but dh wants another surprise, so thats prolly what we will do. We have gender neutral clothes up to 00 so its not really like we have to go buy any new clothes.

Dh figures if we were meant to know id have a window in my tummy. Lol