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This is my second pregnancy and today it is exactly halfway along :D first one was a missed miscarriage at my 12 week scan I don't even know when it passed or what it was :( I didn't give it a name and I know I'd be a lot more devastated if I was to lose this one at this later stage, but it will always be a baby to me, my baby, and I believe I will see it one day when God calls me home :)
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2 pregnancies and 2 sweet boys, I too didnt know how common losing a baby was. I am very blessed :hug:
The pain we feel as a result of baby loss (at any stage) is individual. It can't be compared. I do remember though, after I m/c my first pg "better now than later". I was still crushed, but told myself next time would be different. I made the decision to let go of any anxiety and just love this baby for as long as he was with me. And it was a blissful pg. I brought home my darling son.
BUT- and I hope this doesn't offend anyone- I was by far left more scarred and traumatised by DS's birth than my m/c. The things I endured and the fear I felt was so much more powerful than having a m/c at home. Waking up on full life support was terrifying. When I heard how close I came to death it shook me to my core. I'm still working through the aftermath. And I got to take my baby home.
I can't imagine the pain of leaving the hospital empty handed. I left that place with my son, but the experience and the fear still haunts me. I'm thankful to be alive at all, and sometimes feel guilty for feeling this way when others went home empty handed. I NEED to birth again to heal my heart.
I hope my thoughts haven't offended anyone. Just my personal experience with grief, loss and trauma.
3 pregnancies (1 mc at 8 wks and then my 2 girls).
Forshelby - After what you went through, I don't think many (if any) people would blame you for feeling that way :hug:
Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks ;)
14 pregnancies 9 live births mostly lost one inbetween each live birth, The pain of any loss never leaves you at all you just learn to live with it but when you finally get a take home baby then the pain does ease for a while but you never forget the babies you didn't get to hold ! they are always with you every day !
1st preg 1985 boy
2nd preg mc 16wks
3rd preg 1991 boy
4th preg mc 9wks
5th preg 1995 girl
6th preg 1996 boy
7th preg mc 9wks
8th preg 2001 boy
9th preg 2002 boy
10th preg 2004 girl
11th preg mc 8wks
12th preg 2005 girl
13th preg 2008 boy
14th preg mc sept 2009 13wks
Thanks, Teni. The validation does help. Just knowing how deep my own wounds are makes my heart break for mummas who didn't get their take-home baby. I just can't imagine what that must be like. I hope I never find out.
Every day I tell myself: "This will be your weakness, or your greatest strength". I choose strength. Most days... :shakehead: but it's hard.
I can't remember who said it but I agree - The women who have suffered multiple losses, stillbirths etc are my inspiration. If they can find the strength, then so can I. I've been through much much less than they have. I never knew such strength and courage existed. I think of some of you in particular daily, and try to learn from your wisdom and bravery. :hug:
3 x pregnancies
1 early m/c
1 beautiful heathly baby boy
1 in the making
No you haven't. None of us have been through any 'less' that the other. We have all had our own journeys and we all deal differently. Just because you haven't had more losses than the next person makes your journey any less difficult FOR YOU. Is is all totally individual and noone has any more or less 'right' to be more or less traumatised or upset by their paths on which life takes them.:
Forshelby in a way I do understand where you are coming from.
Watching what my DS4 (born at 25 weeks) went through, how sick he was and how close we came to losing him (and I do know how very lucky we are that he come home 15 weeks later, I am no way comparing it to those that have tragically lost little ones) was extremely hard and a very painful journey, for me it was more painful and traumatic then my miscarriage.
Watching him struggle and suffer was the hardest thing that I have done.
Pain and trauma is very much relative to each individuals experience.
My heart goes out to all the lovely ladies who have tragically lost a little one at any stage of their pregnancy.
2 pregnancies here...
1st one ended at 22w with pre term delivery
2nd one result in our princess
im still stunned at how common a loss is, whether it be early, or late i never imganined so many people would suffer a loss
2 pregnancies, one lost angel at 9 weeks and one precious daughter born :)
I have 5 children at home, and my beautiful little lady, who is no longer with us.
I have had 1 pregnancy and have 1 beautiful baby boy - I feel very blessed.
Wow this thread has really touched me. It is so painful to see how many have suffered losses - late or early. The thought of it breaks my heart in pieces - especially now being a mother and knowing the depth of love you feel for your child; your flesh and blood. My heart really goes out to you all.
Sent from my iPhone more than likely while I should be doing something else!
8 pregnancies - 1st 6 ivf
1 ruptured ectopic
5 mc
Then 2 natural miracles - both earthside in my arms :)
2 pregnancies, 2 girls. My second though was very touch and go, threatened miscarriage at 5 1/2 weeks, then almost lost her again at the end, it is actually a miracle that she (and I) came out of that experience without damage.
Two pg, one was a late loss at 21 weeks, DS1, and the other an earth side bub, DS2.
9 pregnancies...
I've lost 7 but I'm blessed to have 2 earthside bubs.