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For a variety of reasons - one was that I never actually wanted kids until much later when I changed my mind :lol: - I had DD1 when I was 34 and DD2 when I was 37. I've never felt old and had pretty boring pregnancies - no morning sickness, no SPD, no GD, no high BP. I think you deal with what you get and whatever age you are at you don't tend to feel that it is old. I still don't feel old :p
I didn't consider kids before 30, too many things I wanted to do before we started a family such as travel. All I knew is I wanted our first at around 30.
My first at 30, second at 33 and third at 36. I am fortunate the all my pregnancy's have been pretty easy.
I am now 41 and looking back on it, consider 30 for me was the right age to begin. Like Nai, still don't feel old :lol:
I had my first at 26 and will have my second (and probably last) at 31.
With my first I was definitely the youngest mum in all my social circles.
Now with this second one I've got a few friends who are also having babies.
I'd rather stop here, just cause I think 2 is a good number for us. DH also agrees with 2 but is also quite motivated by age, he's 37 now and doesn't like the idea of being 60 when his child is 20.
I also know people who've had kids from 18 till 45. You've just got to work with the way your life goes.
I always thought I'd be finished by 30 with 4 kids. I think because that's what my Mum always said. I'm a bit late. I had my first at 24 and will probably have my 4th and last at 31 if all goes to plan.
I had my first at 31 and second just before turning 34. And I think, maybe I'm done!
I don't feel like an old mum thank goodness!
The hospital I birthed at (private Sydney hospital) I was considered and often referred to as a young mum, even when pregnant with number 2.
For us it was the right time as we had established good careers, bought/sold property and felt we had the right attitude/outlook/ for a family.
Travel was never a factor, we have travelled extensively before children. Extensively with children. Will continue to travel as our children grow, and we will travel once our children leave the nest.
I think it's going to be very very different for every couple!
I had my first at 22 and last at 27.
I wanted to be done before 30. I also wanted a 2 year age gap. But that didn't happen. My first was at 21 and my second at 25. I thought I would have had 3 by 25 and be done. But we settled on 2. And I'm happy. Being a young mum is great most of the time. I think it's perceptions more than anything that make it different. But if I were at a different stage of my life. Or it took me longer I wouldn't have stopped. And I would have taken as long as needed. I was lucky I could put an age limit on it. It's not the case for everyone. I'm also looking at making a career for myself now. Which again I don't know if it's easier or harder. Just different.
I was never going to have children, I even doubted that I would get married.
About 31 I changed my mind on kids, DH and I married when I was 27. Had DD1 when I was 32 and DD2 when 35. My cut off was 35, so we almost stopped trying for DD2.
My mum had me when she was 37 and she was so much older than the other parents around me. I remember the issues around it, when I needed her the most, she retired and kicked me out, as it was her time now, even though she helped my older siblings get on their feet.
Thankfully now there is such a broad range of ages with the mums around me. So I don't feel old or young, just somewhere in the middle.
DH does often say that we should have had kids younger. Physically I found it harder with DD2, could barely move with SPD, so a part of me would have liked to have been younger. Emotionally though I don't think I would have been ready and DH certainly would not have.
I was never going to have children, I even doubted that I would get married.
About 31 I changed my mind on kids, DH and I married when I was 27. Had DD1 when I was 32 and DD2 when 35. My cut off was 35, so we almost stopped trying for DD2.
My mum had me when she was 37 and she was so much older than the other parents around me. I remember the issues around it, when I needed her the most, she retired and kicked me out, as it was her time now, even though she helped my older siblings get on their feet.
Thankfully now there is such a broad range of ages with the mums around me. So I don't feel old or young, just somewhere in the middle.
DH does often say that we should have had kids younger. Physically I found it harder with DD2, could barely move with SPD, so a part of me would have liked to have been younger. Emotionally though I don't think I would have been ready and DH certainly would not have.
It's nice if you can set plans and deadlines and that works out, but as with so many aspects of our lives, we can't always control these things, so it can be really counter-productive to fixate on particular ages, or whatever. Stuff just works out however it works out and you have to just go with that.
I got all down about "30" and no babies, but got passed it and now I don't think I'm too old, even at my grand old age, but I'm ready to move on. If things had been different and we'd actually been able to have children like we wanted we'd have 3, maybe 4 before now, but that is not our life.
Of course there will be pluses and minuses at any stage and age - and always things you miss out on, no matter what - but we all just have to make the best of it.
So, anyway, I have no upper limit, really. Though, as things worked out, I was done at 33.
I always thought I would have children but it wasn't until first friends did that I really thought about it, when I say really thought about it - I mean I arbitrarily decided I wanted to have had first by 32, I had DD a month before turning 32, but that was chance really. I didnt really get the urge till we moved to Australia (when I was 30) and after that was just circumstance (job not going anywhere, friends having children - it seemed like a good time to see what would happen. Number 2, I was 34, a 2 year gap not 3 as had always thought, due again to thinking 2 would be better work wise. I had never thought about how many wanted before number 1 but after knew only wanted 2. I am a younger one in my mothers group, and in friends in general.
Now I tend to think that being older is not so great from a career perspective, but then I wasn't interested when younger, so I agree about "just working with the way your life goes". If my children asked advice, I would say go for it when it feels right and let everything else work itself out.
I always thought I'd be done by now, 40 is my cut off. But I never envisaged wanting four children. I always thought I'd stop at two - which would have meant my baby making days finishing at 34. Guess the universe had other plans. ;)
I notice that now I'm getting closer to my end date, I'm apprehensive about the end of that chapter. Just one more?!
Trillian - my Mum was in her 50s before menopause hit and I suspect I will be much the same. So I will not be waiting for my body clock to end my baby making days!
I was 35 when I fell pregnant with my 2nd DD. I didn't feel old then, I don't feel old 7 years later, and I'm not planning on being "too old" for anything for, well, several more decades. LOL However, we are very happy having 2 gorgeous kids so that's what being "done" is about for me.
FWIW - there are more mums around who are my age-ish now than when I had my first DD @ 27. Some of them are onto a 2nd batch of kids (ie with older kids from a different relationship), and I think that's evidence that you can't ever predict how life is going to turn out in 5,10, 15 years from now. And the stats say that the younger you are when you start having kids, the more kids you tend to have before you're done. So I really don't think there's any kind of magic line in the hourglass sand.
I always planned to be done by 40. My plan when I was younger was to have two children, when I was 38 and 40. My mother and two of my aunties had babies at 40 and it always seemed perfectly fine and not "old" to me.
Turned out I was clucky and didn't want to wait that long. I still really didn't want children in my 20s and I'm so glad we didn't have them early and we travelled a LOT as I really draw on those life experiences with my partner before we had children and the strong bond we created over those years. But we decided to have our first baby when I was 32 and we'll be having our last just before I turn 38. I'm happy to stop a couple of years shy of 40 and I do feel done... but a little part of me thinks "well, two more years till 40... I could squeeze ONE last baby in..." lol
I like the idea of 'stop having kids at menopause'. But I'm one of those annoying overly clucky people who gets clucky despite having a baby already lol so for me the idea of stopping at a certain age when I can still physically have more doesn't work. Ideally I'd like to keep popping them out as long as God keeps blessing me with them :p.
I never had an age really, but always thought 36 would be my "cut-off." I had DD1 at 31 and DD2 at 33. We only wanted 2 so it all worked out ok for us.
Interesting thread, and I've enjoyed reading everyone's responses. So for me, growing up I always wanted 3 kids, never once did I think what age I wanted to start and stop having them. I had my DD when I was 28. Life threw me a lot of curve balls, but I am now pregnant with #2 and I will be 33 when she or he arrives. I don't know if we'll go for #3. I think for me, it will be more about us, and our family and where we're at in our lives rather than my age.
It never really came to mind what age I wanted to have kids at ,I just always knew I wanted them .
I had my first at 25 and my second when I was 29, DD2 would have come earlier but we had some unexpected fertility troubles .which is why I don't think you can really plan the ages you want to be when you have babies .
I am turning 30 in a few months and we def see a 3rd Bub in our lives. I don't feel old or to old to have more babies ,nor do I have a cut off point age wise , if we have more issues conceiving than it could be a few years before number 3 .
My mum had 4 babies , and I was the last "surprise " when she was 37 . I don't think that is old at all .
I think my main factors is I still have things I want to do for me in my life as how I can factor them in as a stay at home mum with a third baby ..