Parenting after LT TTC #3

Hi all, just taking five minutes while bubs is in sling to type.

OK DH went back to work today and I have found the only way I can do anything is to have him in the sling. I guess I have a velcro baby. Keep telling myself this will pass. Starting expressing so I can get five minutes break in evenings while DH feeds him. Will see how that goes. If bubs is not in sling he will not sleep. Only other place he sleeps is with us in bed at night and only after boob and perhaps if I pat him on my chest. Trying not to feel guilty when HV says I should be trying to get him to self settle. I had to put him in his basket today for five minutes so I could go to toilet and he screamed the whole time. he really worked himself up to a hysterical scream. I never wanted to do that to him and have no intention of doing that on purpose again. I may have to do it in desperate times again but never as 'training' He does sit a little longer in his bouncer and sometimes will contiunue a sleep in his basket if out there after dozing off but he will not self settle.

Other than that he is gaining weight well and breastfeeding is not hurting so much anymore. He still is a c**p attacher but lots of mums at my mother's group said that as long as it doesn't hurt and he is putting on weight than it can't be bad. Feeds are starting to space out a little more and miraculously this morning he was grizzling and I offered him boob and he refused it!!!! He settled when I put him on my chest and slept for ages. The first time he has ever grizzled for being tired and not for being hungry!!! Yay!!!!!

Murph - still following your story my treechange friend! Great guns with the implants...I hope they are the ticket!

Acacia - I hope you are recovering from the holiday (or not holiday!)

Kelly - Tara sounds like she is doing really well. I cannot wait for solids! Less time chained to the couch feeding I hope! And as DH is the cook in our house he can prepare the baby's food!!!

Persies are still not really possible for me sorry as I am dealing with the master of velcro! As my posts get longer and I start doing persies you will see things are getting better my end!!! LOL

poppyfairy - I just wanted to say that please *please* don't let anyone - especially your HV - let you feel guilty for the fact that your DS is not self settling and that you're not or haven't yet "trained" him to self settle.

At his age, babies (I won't say all, but the very vast majority) just want to be near mum! They are still getting used to the big wide world and want to sleep with the same kind of comfort and security and warmth and comfort and comfort and comfort (you get the picture) that they had in utero. Who can blame them!? It's perfectly natural for them to want to sleep with your smell, your warmth and your sounds (i.e. heartbeat) that they are used to. You are their world!

It's such a big, overwhelming thing to have this little person be totally dependent on you for absolutely everything and you not have a break or space, but I promise that as time goes on, it will change and your beautiful velcro bub will start to become more independent and curious about the world outside of his mummy before too long.

Keep doing what you are doing - your Mummy instinct serves you well and tells you what feels right for a reason - it is best for you and your DS in your situation. "Training" your DS to self settle if you thought it was something that you did want to do would at his age is not something that is recommended in any case - he is much to young to understand the concept of going to sleep on his own and it would feel like abandonment to him. I know I'm using strong language here, but there is research that backs this up, and I do feel strongly about it and think that you're doing a wonderful job - even though I know how full on it is to have a tiny velcro baby.

FWIW, my DD, whilst she doesn't often co-sleep any more, still has cuddles to sleep at 14 months old and I either feed her and/or cuddle her back to sleep at night when she wakes - and I wouldn't want it any other way, even though my HV seems to think she should be "old enough" to go to sleep/get back to sleep on her own. Jeez - I like cuddling to sleep, so why shouldn't my DD be allowed to do that too?! You do what feels right for you, poppy, and don't feel guilty or pressured in your parenting choices - you're doing so well :hug:

yeah - what Acacia said!

at one month, even if you wanted to go the path of controlled crying for self settling, it's far too early - the concept doesn't come into things until about 6 months - before that they are simply too young to understand

i had a velcro bub when she was little - wouldn't sleep anywhere but on me and it drove me a little bit insane to be honest. but, at about five months, we managed to get her settling in her cot just by being with her - never let her cry, we just sat with her and let her rest off to sleep. most times now she happily goes to her cot herself but we have to be with her - even if just sitting there with my head on the cot bars with my eyes closed.

your bubba will grow and change and will be ok eventually to self settle - just go with your gut

poppy slings are great, my little one loves it too and you can do things if you have the energy.

Murph well if things go well We might have to do a coffee some time. DH is still wanting to move back there ASAP. only 2 years till DSS finishes year 12. And now I"m a mum (still funny to say) The quieter life is ok. Hope DH did flippin well :D

Hi to everyone else forgive the lack of post today 3 hour feed last night :o

ATM little man was so unsettled last night, I think due to Nurse visit, then hospital visit then xray and the heat.
He's got a heat rash and a broken collar bone! from the delivery but it's not painful and will heal completly by 3 months (big sigh of relief)

He woke up at 11am and was so clingy till 2am wanting to feed the whole time, DH woke up to me crying and took him for 20mins, gave him a belly rub which brought on a big poo, DH changed him then gave him back to me for one last feed then he crashed till 5.20! just in time to give dady a kiss before he left for work.

I decided to stay awake this feed have a shower and breakfast but I'm going to spend the rest of the day in bed. I'm so hoping he is better tonight.

Poppy and Green, hang in there, you are both doing brilliantly! It may not feel like it, but you are. You are getting to know your babies, and soon you will get to the point where you are confident that you know what to do next and you will take all advice with a grain of salt. At the moment, it is all about survival, there is NO routine and just get through the next few hours, and you will be fine.

Poppy, I don't know what an HV is but no one should be telling you you're doing the wrong thing, when clearly you are being a wonderful, responsive parent to your little bubba. At that age, a velcro baby = a normal baby. Some will be happy on their own and self settle, but most don't. In my opinion, it's not something you can teach, it's a part of their development that they do when they're ready to do it. By listening to his needs and responding to them you are building a close bond built on mutual trust and understanding. This will help him feel secure and set him on the path to independence. :hug:

Acacia - thanks for popping in with your words of wisdom. I hope your DD is feeling better soon and that you're taking care of yourself :hug:

Enjoy your day in bed Green

:redface: oh wow you girls are so good at perssies lol im not just yet so i just wanted to pop my head in and say a big hello to you all today,thinking of you all and have a great day.

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I can't do my long ramble that I wanted to ...

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:ROFL: you still managed tho! bbbaaahahaahaa.

hey that's great they are pulling their finger out for jazzy. But sometimes don't you wish you lived closer to a capital city so it wasn't such a hassel! Jazzy will be a travelling pro by her first birthday. Seriously, fingers crossed all the tests go well and she's an ideal candidate.

green - you are doing a great job love! and i always keep in mind "he'll pass out soon enough'' lol.

acacia those cuddles ound devine! i figure they r only little for such a short time and soon enough it won't be 'cool' to cuddle mum lol. for me i can't stop kissing ash, even after he peed, then pooed,then vommed on me within 30mins this morn!

gotta go - 1 handed typing isnt as easy as murph makes out!

hi marcellus, megan, neptune, poppy, bg, kahlan, kellyy and all the lovely mummies ox

Just dropping in to say hi....

I'm not feeling up to persies today, this humidity is s**t and I feel so drained, even missy is struggling and is quite tired and lethargic :pray: it will be gone soon.

And lucky us, just when she is not coping with the weather we are off to have 4 mth immunisations tomorrow (because she is 4 months old tomorrow, poppy & green time goes so quickly). I think she might know what I am going to be doing to her, last time I could distract her with her bottle but don't think that will work tomorrow.

BBL to catch up an you all.

Hi girls,

No time for persies from me today but just want to wish Murph and Jazz luck with the hearing business.

Marcellus, you have inspired me. I told DH what you said and we are going to try more chunky stuff from now on.

Green, glad to hear that your little guy won't be need much intervention re: collar bone.

Lyla has a cold, I think, runny nose and coughing... she has started to be rather chesty so I am torn... I was hoping the cold would go away without me having to give her some medicine but I am not sure now. She is still feeding well, happy alert though. What you do all think? Should I or shouldn't I.

Oh for those who are using disposable nappies, Pampers nappies are on sale at Coles. I found them to be more superior to Huggies but because they are much dearer I only use them for nights...but now with the sale I am hoarding them....

Night Night

Ladies Thanks so much for all your support! Acacia, Marcellus, BG, Green and Neptune!

I feel soooo much better about how I am doing things. My instincts tell me that my LO needs this time with me and I am going to continue ignoring the HV (HVs are the health visitors who take over from the community midwives when your baby is 10 days old here in the UK. They are nurses who visit, weigh and check your baby over and distribute pamphlets telling you not to smoke or shake your baby etc!!! A bit of Nanny State Britain!!)

Green- My baby cluster feeds like that too. Nightime is hell here. He feeds from about 8pm till 2am most nights but then crashes and sleeps till 7am. I feed him on the couch until we go to bed at midnight and then feed him for the two hours in bed. Feeding lying down is getting better with us. He doesn't attach as well but we are getting there and the bed is usually a mess of milk stains by morning!! He tends to have tons of wind at night as well. I think it builds up in the day as he feeds really well (efficiently and quickly) in the morning feeds and is really chilled out and burps after a feed by himself mostly, but by night he screams on the boob, thrashes about tugging at the nipple and needs tons of patting and burping to get rid of the wind. I read somewhere that keeping them upright for at least ten minutes after every feed all day can help with stopping the build up of wind. I am trying it from now on.

poppy seams like our bubs are in tune with each other if not us! lol
Well day in bed didn't happen baby hasn't slept more than an hour since ummmm I think yesterday morning. I haven't slept more than 20mins since then either. :( I'm very teery today.

Wind is my baby's enemy too, he burbs but obviously not enough. So after a good feed at 9am and he fell asleep till 10.30 I decided it's going to be a sling day. He needs to sleep. I'm confident he's eating enough as his nappies are always heavy. Just need to get back on the sleep track.

It's funny how so many of my friends have had babies but they hid this from me! THey all say it's normal but I never sore it.

Kalan hope all is well in your house.

Kelly goodluck with needles today :hug: it's so hard to watch.

grub you're doing great one handed I can't but sling means both hands free.

Hi smithy hope you're going well and your buba is staying wind free.

Thanks Neptune. I think I've got caught up in what should happen, I like the day at a time motto.

Hmm little man is grunting away like a little piggy but his eyes are shut, so I'm hoping he's dreaming and not just playing possum, I figure he hurd me typing away when he was in my belly so on some level this may be soothing, anyways it's keeping mum sane.

Fingers crossed we get some zz's tonight

Poppy - it's called witching hour....only it lasts half the night :doh:

Kahlan - do you have a vaporiser? sometimes they're helpful for congestion. I guess keep an eye on her and ask your nurse if it seems to be getting worse

take care everyone

ETA - :hug: Green.

:) BIG hellos today girls

Big hello to you Smithy, hope everything is going well with Charlie. All's good here, although big storm just hit in Sydney, so I'm going to shut down the lap top!!!!

Just updating you on how we are going...

I'm thinking of you all, especially green & poppy as these early weeks can take so much out of you and I 'm hoping you will get on top of the wind issue and before you know it it will all be a blur (although it probably is already if you are both sleep deprived)

Big hello to all my other lovely mummies, you all have so much going on I'm finding it hard to keep up with you all, but you are all in my thoughts always.

Anyway, my little princess was so good getting her needles. No screams, just a little whimper when the first one was done and then thought about it for the second needle but decided against it as it was over before she realised. She was such a brave soul and even smiled at the nurse straight after.

AFM, well that's another story. I've been getting some abdominal pain the past few days which was enough to wake me up during the night, so when at the Dr's today I got it checked out and also had a pelvic u/s as well. I am thinking it might be an ovarian cyst on my left side, and due to the past 2 years consisting of either being on medication or being pregnant I think my body has now decided to go back to it's old ways. From what I could see all the dormant follicles from my PCOS look like they have all come back as both my L & R ovaries where almost black with all the follicles I could see. The sonographer laugh and told me I could make heaps of money on the "black market" selling my eggs. Hopefully will get the results on Monday, fingers crossed it is nothing drastic as I don't know how either me or Tara would cope if I had to have surgery seeing she screamed the ultrasound joint down this afternoon when she was outside with DH, combination of being tired and I think also being away from me....

:hello: neptune sweety thanks for asking all is going ok here ,how are you going ?and could you please send me that storm hun lol..

kelly..gee hunny i hope ll will be ok with you take care ok.

Twas a storm in a tea cup! Dropped the temp initially, but then it shot up again with double the humidity!!!!!!! Bring on Autumn I say. Adam all sweaty and hard to handle just in a nappy. I like to snuggle with him when it's a bit cooler!!!!:rolleyes: