Pregnancy after LT TTC #15

Hey Yogi,

This can be such a lonely journey at times. Often DH is the only one there for us, when we need the compassion and touch of a mother or sister.

Been through this recently myself over my September miscarriage (#4), but with my sisters.

I would higly recommend booking yourself into see a Psychologist or Counsellor who specialises in infertility. There should be one linked to your IVF clinic, if not a free session with each IVF??? I put off seeing one, but it got to the point in November where I just had to go and I was so glad I did as I was going through post traumatic stress. One session was all it took me to get some guidance on how to put it all into perspective, and give me some better tools on how to cope with people like my sisters.

What you did is what many of us have felt like doing so often. Although it often is like a silent scream in our heads.

I read somewhere recently about a woman who had 2 miscarriages and spent 3 years in grief, unable to smile. The grief becomes almost insurmountable.

You need to know you are not alone with these feelings at all. And what you are feeling towards your mum is normal build up of frustration. As a hypnotherapist I also need to be a qualified counsellor. Let me tell you it's better out than in. Suppressing is worse. You released it and allowed it to come out. I say smash it, cry as much as you want and let it come out.

There is a heck of a lot more invested in an IVF miscarriage than a natural one. I've experienced 2 of both and can speak to this. But unfortunately people who haven't experienced IVF will never understand what it's like.

I feel as if my mum has got bored with my 4 year journey and now focusses on me getting into uni. That's about all she talks about these days. And don't get me started on my sisters. In September after my last D&C my milk came in 2 days later (yes after losing the bub at 6.5wks), was so bittersweet, milk, but no baby. Doctors panicked and rushed me in to have an MRI as they thought I had a tumor on my Pituitary Gland, luckily I did not. I rang one of my sisters in desparate tears one night sobbing so much I couldn't really speak. She consoled me and then I didn't hear from her for 6 weeks......................the other sister just shrugs her shoulders, says sorry and that's it. I get no support, but I desparately want it and ask for it.

Yogi - take some time out. Allow yourself to feel everything you need to. Try, when you're ready to do something special to say goodbye to this precious bub (plant a tree, buy a keepsake etc). Focus on nurturing yourself. Hold DH tight. These next few weeks are the hardest. We are all here ready to give you love, support and compassion. We are your sisters on this journey and we feel your pain. We know your despair and are here whenever you need us.

My Psychologist hit the nail on the head when she said - this is not just about the loss of a baby, it's almost the end of a dream and the biological desire to want to have a baby with someone you love so much. She cried with me.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Yogi, huge hugs to you. Firstly, no, of course you are not being unreasonable- your mum obviously has no idea of the support you need or what you are going through. Of course she should be there for you- supporting you, checking in. Please don't feel guilt over that. I feel sad she is so unaware and insensitive and that you have to deal with that.

I agree with mindhugs that IVF and IVF losses are very tough to deal with, and long term trying to have a baby really takes its toll in so many ways.

I imagine that your outburst must have been scary for you, especially afterwards. It can be scary to lose control, yet so understandable, I think sometimes we all do to an extent (I have been on the ground crying and unable to move before). The main thing is that you were able to vent a bit, noone was badly hurt and that you can now get professional counselling and help to get you through your grief and all the other emotions that go along with all that you have been through (all the anger, and heartache and isolation and pain and bitterness and sense of loss etc ).
And keep talking to us as long as you need to, we do really get it, and many of us have experienced loss and a long road, which means we know where you are at.

I agree some time out is a great idea, just dont expect too much of yourself, stay open and talking to DH and go one day at a time until the hurt eases and you can regroup. And yes, book in to talk to someone, it really helps so much in gaining perspective and making sense of the huge mix of emotions which threaten to overwhelm sometimes. And avoid any situations you think will be hard for you right now.

Thinking of you and sending you hugs ...I am just so very sorry you have had to go through so much loss and pain xx

Yogi,

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. Five and a half years ago I went through a very rough period with my parents (they actually took me to court over access to my daughter - like divorcing couples they wanted her every 2nd weekend and half of all school holidays!). It meant that for many years I have been very wary about having much to do with them at all. I felt wary about letting on when I was feeling low or struggling with my fertility issues etc as I was worried about what they might turn against me in the future (I'll never forget the way they twisted everything around in their affidavits for court). So I can relate to the feeling of total frustration and despair that the woman who should be your greatest support (your mother) is someone you can't rely on at all. It has only been the last 12 months that I have started to let my mum back into my life again but I'll never forget the hurt she caused and I'll never completely trust her again. By the way we now have a court order that they have my daughter one weekend a month and for 1 week during the July school holidays! (who knew grandparents had rights like that?!)

I think you have been completely reasonable and your mother should be trying her hardest to support you. Maybe she feels uncomfortable and sad when she hears about your losses and wishes she could do something to help but feels a failure and her way of coping with her feelings is to act ignorant of it all?

I think counselling is definately a good idea but maybe you could see if the counsellor could also suggest a book or something you could give your mother to read to help her gain a better understanding of what you have been and are going through?

As hard as it is I think that for your own sanity it might be better for you to not have contact with your mum for a while... atleast not until she is able to come to you and show you the compassion you deserve. You certainly don't owe her any sort of apology.

I'm glad to hear it seems like your DH has been understanding and supportive of you when you did "snap"... and I think it is completely understandable after all you have been through. I've had a couple of times in my life when I have seen a pyschologist and been diagnosed at the brink of a mental breakdown. I'm now very aware of when I need to pull back or change things in my life to ensure I never get to that point again (and never go over the edge). Personally I feel that at this point in time your mother is probably one of those things you need to pull back from in order to maintain your sanity.

Best wishes with everything.

Lori
DD - 14
9w2d pregnant 4 years after starting this journey.

Yogi, I fear that anything I say will just be a repeat of what the ladies have said above. My heart goes out to you and I hope you find some peace and a way forward very soon.

You have every right to kick, scream, cry, throw, basically just let it out however you see fit. I have been guilty of many a tantrum over out TTC journey when it all got a bit much. Your wonderful DH will understand. But I think that the idea of counselling is a good one, you need someone to help you process all the things you are feeling.

As for your mum, I have always been of the mindset that we can't change people around us - and trying to just makes us more upset. Throughout our whole journey DH and I have just made sure we only let "let in" the people who were genuinely there for us. And in some cases that meant we shut out family members, but in the end it was easier for us than to deal with people that would make us feel worse (albeit unintentionally).

Keep coming back to talk to us Yogi, we truly do care and understand. :comfort:

xx

Yogi - apologies as I have tried to reply twice in the last two days but my ipad can't connect to submit my post....

I was just wanting to say how sorry I am, and to assure your that your frustration is entirely and utterly normal. The only comment I would make it that whilst I completely agree that your Mum's support isn't what it should be, I think as IVF-ers we can't always expect our families to be our only support model - they simply aren't equipped at times to give us the support for what is an hugely stressful and emotionally turbulent time. People get what I call 'empathy fatigue' - they get tired of having to feel sorry for us, kind of like hearing a tragedy in the news and then a week later not having the same emotional response even though the tragedy is very real and current for the person who experienced it.

I don't want you to think in anyway I understand how as mother your Mum can't tell how sorry she is and that she would do anything to help in this situation, but just wanting you to focus the frustration at the situation separate to your Mum first so that you can deal with that rather than turn all the pain on your Mum because she and her behaviour is so more tangible that the awfulness you have had to experience through recurrent IVF miscarriages. I think we expect so much more from our Mum's than from anyone else and as many people know, being a parent, doesn't make you a great one.

I really agree with with the other ladies on here that seeing a counsellor will be really valuable for you - but we are all here for you and hope that this cyber support mkes a small difference in a really tough time. BTW - don't think you are too special breaking a phone - I have broken a phone AND a keyboard out of frustration ;) xxxx

Yogi, just wanted to say I am thinking of you xx

Ahhh beautiful girls...sisters yes, you have me in tears over your words of genuine care, compassion & understanding...i cant thank you all enough, each & every one of you: Possums, Lairdoz, Bug'sMum, Lori, Mindhugs, Jaki, Aimee, Kaybee, airline, juniper, worrywart, Leabie & anyone else i've missed (sorry)...so blessed to have found this thread with such a wonderful bunch of ladies :grouphug:

Am recovering OK from yesterday, was the first time using my private health ins so went through the private hospital with my FS doing the procedure....seemed only fitting that after more than 4 years of trying & failing through this clinic that this is the last procedure FS did on me...not the ending we wanted at all! Anyway we are officially finished with the clinic now and will never have to walk through those doors again and see the pitiful looks on all the faces of the staff. I am getting the chromosome testing done and also tests for bacteria....thanks so much to Mindhugs for letting me know about this, i had never heard of it before. i had to ask FS to test for this, he ummmed & ahhhed and said there is nothing else they can really test for then finally said "yeah i suppose we could do a test for bacteria"...FFS why are we paying these people!! Thanks again Mindhugs, i might PM you if thats ok, could be something else to look into for sure.

As for my mum, haven't heard from her at all and i dont expect to either to be honest. The thing with my mum (and dad for that matter) is they have always keeps things on a superficial level with the family. When everything is going well with everyone (or so they think, i have 1 brother & 1 sister both older) then all is sweet and happy families and wonderful....but when things are tough they just can't handle it...their parenting approach is "leave them be, let them sort it out for themselves". Looking at their life i can see that they have had a fairly "easy" life...dad held a good steady job for life, they bought a house (which they still believe is the be all & end all to life!), had 3 kids and a few grandsons, they are lucky to have their good health etc. Now i know that everyone experiences hardship of some sort in their life and i'm sure my mum & dad have had their own ups & downs but nothing like such "grown-up adult" problems as the ones DH & I are dealing with. Even when my sister was going through her divorce a while ago they, again, had the attitude "let them sort it out, its their problem". I remember ringing my sister nearly everyday during that hard time for her and being a loving ear for her (i was living on the other side of the state so unfortunately didn't see her physically as much as i wanted to)...but i was there for her. She has obviously forgotten about this and is no-where in sight for me during my times of heartbreak...i have such a lovely sister too (NOT), very much like my mum!!!

Offering support, compassion, care & love for someone in need has NOTHING to do with what the actual issue is....people dont need to understand what you are going through to show empathy and kindness. Be it, as Kaybee said, whether its a serious illness, or a relationship problem like marriage breakdown, loss of a loved one, infertility....whatever the issue is if someone is showing such stress & trauma then a loved one, like your own parents, should be able to express their love & support. A simple "thinking of you, are you ok?" or "we are here for you anytime" or a little card in the post saying "we love you and are praying for you"....its not a matter of asking questions and expecting to get all the details...that should be up to me to offer information if i feel the need for them to know....but to not even have my own mother ask a general "how are you going?", after not talking to her for over 2 weeks...when she knows we have been dealing with problems for over 5 years...its very hard to keep putting up with this behaviour, which i have done for such a long long time. I have never had a really close relationship with my mum (as you can tell!), like i said she likes to keep it fairly superficial and one-sided conversations have generally been the norm (her side, about meaningless everyday blah). Even when i have opened up and told her private personal information and expressed my feelings she has gone and passed it all on to everyone else...the reason i do not trust her.

Going back even further...my mum has admitted that she never had a good relationship with her own mother and i think its passed on to us. What worries me greatly now is that maybe i will be the same if i am a mother too?....maybe this cycle will continue and the reason i cant carry a baby is to break this cycle? I remember seeing a wonderful Reiki woman about a year ago and she said that i have blockages on my left side which relates to receiving and has a lot to do with female relationships such as with sisters or mother...BINGO! thats me. Today i made a booking to see this lady again....i think i know what i need to work on!

What i find so hard to comprehend through all this is that here are DH & I so desparate to have children and willling to do anything and everything to have them and i tell you what when they do eventually come to us (somehow i know they will) i know we would fly to the moon and back a million times over if we could to try and help them with anything, especially seeing them going through such heartache. My mother has witnessed the stress i've been under, the heartbreak, she's heard the tears a number of times in the past and still done nothing to change her "leave them be, let them sort it out themselves" approach. This last episode is, as Kaybee said, this is me crying out for help...hitting rock bottom. And my mum's solution/response is to end the conversation and leave it up to me to call her and tell her how she can help.....I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND THAT!! Do i have to "teach" her how to show empathy & compassion towards her own daughter???

You just cant teach people how to do that, my mother obviously is not capable and unfortunately i can never change her. As Lori said i need to keep my distance and surround myself with people who can give me the support & love i deserve right now. I'm lucky to have a few close friends i can talk to at the moment and also so grateful for you all there on this thread. Again so sorry to talk about all this here....i was a bit reluctant to mention anything as i am generally a private person and even though this is an anonymous internet site i still get bit "funny" sometimes about putting my feelings out there. But then i think for anyone out there also just reading it will give an insight into the many aspects of infertility & m/c and the emotional journey we all travel as well as the physical...its just not pretty a lot of the time!!

DH & I have booked a counselling session through SIDS (they also support early pregancy loss too) for next week and i have also made an appointment with a pyschologist through the GP mental health management plan (get some rebate off medicare which is good)....we absolutely need, and so desparately deserve, to be nurtured and properly supported through all this.

Onwards & upwards, focusing on surviving the present at the moment...the future can wait. It HAS to be good though surely, cause it just cant get any worse hey!! :lol:

Opps, another megalong post sorry….hope your cuppa tea didn’t go cold!!!
Sending out lots of love & hugs to you all, thanks again :hug:
Yogi xxx

Dear Yogi. We will all be breathing a sigh of relief that you have posted in here again. Just to know how you are and let you know that we are ALL here, anonymous or not.

Reiki! YES YES YES. I was thinking about that today for you. As you know it's so great for moving bad energy, negative energy, grief and blockages. I believe it gives you the edge to face the day. Fantastic idea! Was the best thing ever when I went through a horrible divorce years ago.

You are doing everything you can to assist yourselves which is great. Don't forget to slip in a massage or facial for yourself too!

My girlfriend went to SIDS for early miscarriage support and said they were amazing. So you are in good hands.

You WILL be a mum and dad I just know it! The pain of a loss runs so deep, but once you come up for air you refocus on your dream again and don't stop.

Please PM me so I can share as much info as possible about what I have learnt about bacteria etc. I will arm you with everything you need to know.

Put your feet up, take a breath and enjoy the weekend. Come back to us as little or as much as you need sister :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Much love and hugs for you both xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Hi all you lovely ladies

Just wanted to let you know that you can finally cross me off the list! Our little Chloe Elizabeth arrived last Monday, 13 days overdue. Had to get induced, she just didn't want to come out.

Went into hospital Sunday night to start the process with the gel, another dose Monday morning, by lunchtime nothing was happening so they broke my waters and stuck in an oxytocin drip, and... OMG! That worked. She was delivered 2 hrs 45 min later. The OB was at another hospital, and made it back for the last 3 pushes of the delivery - lucky, as she had the cord round her neck twice. All went well though, and she was a healthy 3.755kg.

Home from hospital yesterday after a hard few days, and its so nice to be home. My milk still hasn't come in so we're comp feeeding plus I'm expressing. Its definitely a 2-person operation, luckily DH is home with me for the next little while!

I didn't have much time to read through everyone's posts, hope everyone is going OK. And I just wanted to send a massive hug to Yogi - remember that true family are the people you choose to have around you, not the people you are related to by blood.

Have a great weekend everyone!

:

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Our little Chloe Elizabeth arrived last Monday, 13 days overdue. Had to get induced, she just didn't want to come out.
Went into hospital Sunday night to start the process with the gel, another dose Monday morning, by lunchtime nothing was happening so they broke my waters and stuck in an oxytocin drip, and... OMG! That worked. She was delivered 2 hrs 45 min later. The OB was at another hospital, and made it back for the last 3 pushes of the delivery - lucky, as she had the cord round her neck twice. All went well though, and she was a healthy 3.755kg.

---

Congratulations Leabie. So glad to hear that all went well in the end.

You must have been very concerned when you found out she had the cord around her neck (or did you not know until she was already safely out?). My brother had the cord around his neck when he was born. I remember my mum told me that my brother was overdue and even when she started getting contractions she didn't get any urge to push at all and the nurses kept telling her too but she just felt something was wrong. Eventually the doctor came in and he had a feel inside and discovered the cord was around my brother's neck. He managed to slip it off as my brother was born but he was still very blue and if the doctor had been any later he probably would have died.

I am curious did you go private for your OB or was this public? I'm just curious as to why they would put you on the drip if the OB wasn't even going to be around. When I had my daughter (14 years ago) I paid for a private OB though he bulkbilled some appointments and I didn't have to pay for the actual birth. Anyway I was induced because I was over 17 days past my first due date and 1 day past my other due date. I had two lots of gel (one at 9am and one at noon) and then they did the drip at 4pm that afternoon. However they didn't use the drip until the doctor was in the hospital. My labour was around 5 hours in total and my OB would pop his head in every 30mins or so and was there for the last 10 minutes.

So glad to hear you and Chloe are home safe and sound now.

Lori
DD - 14, number 2 due 29th Aug.

Congratulations Leabie on the birth of little Chloe:confetti:. Hope you are both doing well. She was definately way too comfy in there!!! I hope your milk comes in soon.

Leabie, congratulations!

Yogi, I read your posts with .. such shock and dismay. God. You write really well, btw. You might do some more writing, if you don't already. Anyway .... So there's not too much I can say that hasn't already been said, but my mum can be a little like that at times and her sister is very much like that. It's narcissism and it can be clinical (ie is your mum perhaps a bit mentally ill, even if she's never been diagnosed?). It can be a relief to realise this. Also, on a lighter note, narcissist parents often produce neurotic children - and neurotic children make the best parents, ie sure we're worried, but we really care! Also, I too have smashed a phone (into someone's face - how's that for shocking rage). I hope you're getting some decent help - you might need to shop around for the right person.

AFM, I can't really type now because of the carpal tunnel. Really excited about baby's arrival. OB said that the cervix is ripening and I prob won't go overdue, but who knows right?

Yogi, I was so sorry to read your posts. I wish I could have been here to add my support. The counselling sounds like a great idea. You're dealing with so much pain and disappointment - trying to deal with all of that on your own would be impossible. I hope the testing sheds some light on what's going on and that this is the last m/c you have to face.

Leabie, congrats on the arrival of Chloe! :cheer: I guess that makes her a day older than Amber! I hope you're recovering well and Chloe is enjoying being home! FX your milk comes in very soon.

Sorry to be MIA the last few days. It's certainly been a whirlwind for us.

We went to our weekly OB appt on Tuesday morning and within 5 mins of seeing her, the OB was on the phone to the hospital trying to find us a spot on the list for a c/s that afternoon. Bub had turned back to breech and there was nothing down low except fluid, so the OB was concerned that if my waters ruptured, not only would all the fluid gush out at once, but a cord prolapse was highly likely. Given the risks, we were sent home to get our bags and head to the hospital ASAP.

So, Amber Emily Rose was born at 4.07pm on Tuesday, weighing 7lb 5oz (3.32 kg). It was my absolute last preference for her birth and I'm finding the recovery tough, but she's making up for it by feeding well and occasionally even sleeping (just not at the moment)! Both DH & I are completely smitten! :loveshower:

CONGRATZ LEABIE!!!!:leap:

Good luck WW, looking forward to your B/A

Who is doing the list now? I must finally be heading to the top :)

OMG you girls have been busy!!!

CONGRATZ JUNIPER!!!!:happyforyou:

Leabie- congratulations on the arrival of Chloe Elizabeth!!, hope you are all doing well

Juniper- congratulations!!...sorry it wasnt the birth you hoped for but I hope you and Amber Emily Rose are both OK and coping with these early days

wow, how special and wonderful...so many ladies in here with new babies or about to have new babies ....and leabie and juniper I love the names you have chosen

worrywart- what an exciting time for you and a bit scary too I guess...sending you all my best

yogi- so pleased to hear you are taking some positive steps to cope with all that has happened...I love reiki too. Stay open with your DH so you can be each others support, especially in this time when things are so tough. and put yourself first right now and look after yourself. thinking of you. come in here anytime to talk....we are all here xx

afm- 10 week (well i am 9 weeks 6 days) scan today. very nervous and excited too. This was the scan last time which revealed all had stopped, so very scared really.

Have a great scan today Possums!

I had my growth scan this morning, bubs is measuring 1.5 weeks ahead!!! Bl**dy GD!!!

Leabie and Juniper - HUGE congrats on the birth of your beautiful babies!
Hope you are enjoying every second of this oh so precious time :)
xxxxxx

Wow

Congratulations Leabie and Juniper!!!! Am sure you're enjoying lots of beautiful cuddles from your little ones!!! Don't be too hard on yourself, I'm sorry it wasn't the birth you had hoped for, my DD1 was also breech and c-section.

Possums - hope all goes well today!

Worrywart - all the best for the next few days and can't wait to hear your news!

Yogi - so glad you're finding positive ways to move forwards, take it easy and be kind to yourself!

Hi to everyone hope you're all going well!

CONGRATULATIONS TO BOTH LEABIE & JUNIPER!!

May you enjoy every precious moment with your beautiful miracles.

Thanks again everyone for your kinds words & support, i really dont know what i'd do without you :grouphug: (probably still wrecking the house! :lol:). I know i dont technically belong here now but i will pop in from time to time to see how you are all doing. I am just taking it day by day and keeping DH & myself #1 priority. We are planning a weekend camping soon...nature is the ultimate grounder & healer, cant wait!!

Take care beautiful ladies, you are never far from my thoughts. Thanks for the comments on my writing...if we ever survive this & make it through the other end i have thought about writing a book about our journey...could be a long one though!!

Much love and happiness to you all :loveshower:
Yogi xxx

yogi- so pleased to hear from you, and yes I also find camping and being in nature very grounding, soothing and healing, so pleased you have your DH with you. My thoughts are with you both, hugs xx

jaki- wow bub is soaring along, no good with the GD though of course...how is it going managing that?

afm- 10 week scan was perfect. Immensely happy and relieved. this is the furthest we've been...amazed by what we could see, including movement. relieved and happy sigh :-)

Juniper, Congratulations on the safe arrival of your little girl. Glad to hear she is feeding well... hopefully the sleeping will get better soon.

Best wishes
Lori

Leabie & Juniper: Congrats on the safe arrivals of your little girls. Girls are so special... although I'm biased at the moment.

Yogi: OMG, I've been away and just read your posts and I'm sending you lots of hugs but I'm happy to read that you are focusing on yourself and your DH as it is your relationship that is the one you really need at this time.

Hope all of your bumps are growing nicely and wow how fast does time fly as all out newbie girls are now getting to the end of the first trimester....

Sorry to have been a bit MIA but we went away last week to have a break before our life is turned upside down when these 2 arrive. We were supposed to be going to Swan Hill and Mildura but due to the chance of flooding that was cancelled at the last hour and we ended up going to Robe in SA instead - which is only about 4 1/2 hours from home. The weather was perfect and it was good to have a break, DD even got to experience her first time at the beach and wasn't fazed by the sand and LOVED the water.

Back home now and back to reality which means washing, ironing etc.... what fun....

Things are going well with us and our growing boys, I'm now 23 weeks but measuring 36 weeks so I have started to get all those uncomfortable feelings that generally hit late in the 3rd tri (and this heat makes it worse) like being short of breath, pain in the ribs, back and pelvis and being unable to get up from a chair without some assistance and don't get me started on leg cramps... It is now getting very hard to do even the smallest things with DD like get her dressed and change her nappy because it is hard to pick her up and I can't reach as far now - plus she likes to kick me in the tummy as well. Oh, and I've now gone from being able to feel kicks and punches to actually seeing my tummy move whenever the boys roll over, this is something that I didn't get with DD until I was at least 30 weeks pregnant. I am really starting to get the feeling that these guys will come early as I think they will have no room. My OB wants to get me to 38 weeks, but I reckon 35 weeks will be my time.....

So pleased your scan was good possums! I'm having Insulin at night for my GD. It's a pain in the butt... Well stomach really ;)

Kelly sounds so uncomfy... It's gonna be a long pregnancy for you Hun. Do you have family close by to help?

wow as usual can't keep up with everyone!!
Yogi - my heart hurts for you, and I can connect with a lot of what you have described, including the physical release on inanimate objects. my thoughts are still with you


Leabie and juniper....congratulations girls, so delighted for you, what a journey and it's been a joy to travel it with you. xx

Been busy in here!!

Yogi – Have a wonderful time camping, I hope it is a good break for you and DH. Please pop back in and let us know how you’re going.

Aimee – how’s it all going? Did you have a scan? Has the bleeding stopped? Oh, and you asked about the Doppler/heart monitor – I got it a couple of weeks ago and it’s certainly eased my anxiety. My midwife was very unhappy when I told her the other day though, while my OB wasn’t too fussed the midwife really doesn’t recommend them. She was worried that I would become “addicted” (maybe I have a little lol) and that I would freak if I couldn’t find the HB. I think I will be sending it back when I get consistent movements (which I expect any day now). PM me if you want any more info.

Possums – Congrats on a great scan!!! So happy for you for passing such a personal milestone. Things are really looking great.

Leabie and Juniper – huge congrats on the birth of your gorgeous girls! Juniper – Amber is on my list of girl names though I’m not sure it’ll matter I have a feeling I’m cooking another blue bubba!

Worrywart – any day now!!

Jaki80 – I’m taking over the list now. Actually does anyone know anything about KitKat, Maggie, LisaB or MaggiePie? I am a newbie and I don’t think they’ve popped in since I joined. KitKat was due on the 19th Jan and Maggie on the 2nd Feb…

KellyD - I am SO feeling for you. I am 16 weeks with my second and already slowing down and my DS is only a few months older than your DD. I can only imagine how hard it is for you

AFM - still cruising along nicely. Had a scan on Friday and all is fine. Also had a huge heart to heart with my midwife who I love, and I managed to talk over some of my anxieties. My hormones are also turning me into a crazy woman and DS is finding every single possible way to push my buttons. Poor DH walks into a war zone every time he comes home! I can't believe how much harder it is to be pregnant when you have a little one running around. I am in awe of people with three or four kids!

I havent seen those women at all i dont think, but im not sure. Perhaps if you enter their names into the search and see when they last posted :)

Bugs mum...

Maggiepie has posted here this month,
kitkat hasnt posted since july.
LisaB still posts on BB but not in this thread.

Juniper congratulations on the birth of baby Amber!!! I know what you mean about being the last preference and nothing going your way. It is tough getting over a c/s and i am still getting there. It does get easier everyday, but the not driving and supposed not doing housework is driving me nuts!!! In the end though you have your beautiful little girl despite how she arrived in the world!! Yay for sleep too!!!

i go away for a few months to move house and you all spawn!!!

RENEE - huge congrats on Ava's arrival!!! I hope it's all going well!!!

Leabie - OMG that must have been heaps to take in with such a short labour! glad you dh is home with you to help. Congratulations of chloe's arrival!!!!

juniper - well that's amazing. go in for an appnt come home with a baby! hope you are recovering well from your c/s. I love the name... all the girls' names!!!

Yogi -i'm sorry i didn't get a chance to know you through this thread love. I just want to send you a big hug. Counselling is good, venting here is good, screaming into a pillow on the bed is great too! As for your mum, I think maybe you might have to let that whole messy issue go for awhile, push it to one side while you and your lovely DH get through this terrible time. You obviously know you can't rely on her, but I hope you have a good friend or someone who you can talk to, who will support you. While i've been so extremely super lucky never to have had a m/c, i did find that through our very long TTC journey that if i had my own support person who i could talk to independent of DH it was good. She is a close friend whose sister did ivf so understood, and she'd let me cry and vent and hope and dream and never passed judgment. I so hope you have someone like that in your life...

ck you next??? lol hope so. hate the carpal! You said something a few posts ago which i think all the 1st mums shoudl really heed - DO NOT GUILT YOURSELF OVER ANY DECISION YOU MAKE! You've heard of mother guilt, well you get a triple serve on delivery. For me, it wasn't pressure from anyone but myself to breast feed exclusively like an earth mother for 12 months; to be serene and calm and to know everything my baby needs etc etc etc... what a load of bollocks! do your best for you and your bub. when you make a decision, be it using formula or gasp-horror dragging the baby into your bed every night cos you're exhausted - just accept that's what needed to be done and it was the best decision you could have made at the time. And remember the big picture... you would never do anything to the detriment of your child, so your choices are always going to be 'right'.

possums, kelly, jacki, airline, lairdoz, ww - hello old friends! sorry i've been absent. been on the parenting folder but time is limited with master 13months!!!

hi to all the other 'new girls' lol. but i think that term is probably fairly out of date for most of you! :) I look forward to chatting to you and getting to know you all.

Well we are 20 weeks on thurs!!! yep! 20! unbelievable. We have moved now and are all settled into our new house. DH went back to work a couple of weeks ago and we got into our life of shopping, cleaning, cooking, baby loving, playgroups, meeting people... then DS came down wtih a nasty case of hand, foot and mouth disease (very common in kids) and I've been told to stay away from him :( So dh has had to take time off work to care for him and my mum arrives today to help. her job will be extra baby cuddles cos mummy isn't supposed to touch her sick child!!! I think it's not so much that i get the HFM disease but that it kills your immunity and then i'd be prone to getting every bug around... and you all know how good that is for preggy ladies!!!!

so I have oodles of time now!!! I went to the movies for the first time (and probably last) in 18 months!!!! had a whole popcorn and frozen coke to myself lol bliss!

and there i go... long winded posts as usual!!!

hope you are all well...

Who's got scans/bt's coming up? and who is next on the "pop it out" list???

ox

WELCOME BACK GRUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So good to have you back!

You have defo missed heaps..... so many newbies which is great after such a long 'dry period'.
CK had her bub too! I think the next to go are... worrywart, lairdoz, then me and airline :) Ive prob forgotten someone but some of the gals have stopped posting.

Hi ladies this is what I have. Any changes/updates or if you aren't on here please let me know!


Maggie Feb 2nd -it's a Girl!!
Worrywart Feb 7th - it's a ???
Lairdoz Feb 24th - it's a ???

Lisa B Mar 5th - it's a ???
MaggiePie Mar 22nd - it's a Boy!!
Jaki80 Mar 28th - Little Man
Airline Mar 30th - it's a Boy!!! - Baby M

Kelly D May 28th - it's 2x Boys - Bubble & Squeak

Grub17 July 1 - it's a ???
Bug’sMum July 19th – it’s a ???
Babytruj July 22nd - it's a ???

Mum-2-Be Aug 12th – it’s a ???
Kaybee Aug 18th – it’s a ???
Aimee Aug 25th – it’s a ???
Mindhugs Aug 27th – it’s a ???
Dreamrise659 Aug 30th – it’s a ???
Possums Aug 30th – it’s a???

BABIES BORN

KitKat --- Welcome???
Juniper76 --- Welcome Amber!
Leabie --- Welcome Chloe!
Renee --- Welcome Ava!
CK77 --- Welcome Rossi!
Glenny C --- Welcome Katherine!
Brunette - Welcome Jack & Zara!
S'Rose --- Welcome Oscar!
Miss K --- Welcome ???
Emerald Star --- Welcome ???
Loula---Welcome William!!
Nix76---Welcome????
Paula---Welcome Tiana!!!
Dusty---Welcome Freya!!
Ninah---Welcome Dylan!!
Seachange---Welcome Thomas!!
Londonmiss --- Welcome Charlotte!!
Wantbaby#2 ---Welcome Ellie!!
Wishes --- Welcome Casey!!
Mitf --- Welcome Luke!!
Lise --- Welcome Finnian!!
Mrs Slyder welcome two lovely girls!
Persephone --- Welcome Archie!
Kyrawolfe--- Welcome Tristan!
LilMissHaveachat --- Welcome Ethan!
Sammiejam - Welcome Colt!
BOC - Welcome Jagger Dylan!
BDT---- Welcome Sophia & Aria!
Saph----Welcome Xavier!
Greenslw---- Welcome Lincoln!
Smithy---- Welcome Charlie!
Ella'sMum---- Welcome Emme!
Poppyfairy---- Welcome Robin!
Grub17---- Welcome Ashton!
Laniwantsababy---- Welcome Jett!
Bella55---- Welcome Jack & Samuel!
Miss Magpie---- Welcome Trent!
Murph01----Welcome Jasmine!
Neptune----Welcome Adam!
KellyD---Welcome Tara Rose!

Our thoughts and prayers go to those beautiful mothers whose precious babies have been taken too soon.
Much loved & wanted son of Frosty'sMum, Benjamin born sleeping @ 14 weeks 4days. Our thoughts are with you.
Much loved & wanted daughter of Hippy Mum & Hippy Dad, Georgia Ariela taken too early from this earth 12-03-09 @ 22wk 6d
Much loved and wanted son of Chez67 & her DH, Ryan Patrick, born sleeping 17-03-09 @ 18wk 1d

Juniper, congratulations on Amber!! So exciting. And I love that name, and that you've stuck to it. I had been wondering about your whereabouts! She sounds gorgeous, and in the end, a healthy baby is the aim, right? I'm very prepared myself to let go of the "natural" birth thing. So many of my friends have had to, and I think I just want that baby here, now, one way or another.

Leabie, also wanted to say I love your name Chloe Elizabeth. That's a beautiful name.

Possums, thrilled to hear about your scan.

Sorry for no more persies, it's the damn numb hands. It's a fairly gross sensation to type.

No developments here, yet. FX for a speedy arrival, given the sudden hot weather, but baby will come when s/he wants of course!

WW

Grub- great to hear from you! glad your move went well...although it must be hard staying away from DS (despite all the lovely free time)...so glad your mum and DH can step in. I notice your due date is june 26....that's my birthday (so of course a great date ...lol)

bugsmum- glad your scan went well and your midwife sounds very supportive which is excellent

kelly- I feel for you, sounds like the final part of your pregnancy is going to be pretty uncomfy with those two boys taking up all that room- hope you have some support around

hello to everyone else :-)


afm- still on a high after the great 10 week scan :-) next 12 week scan and screening test...bit nervous about that, but hopefully we will be low risk...did any of you ladies have an amnio? a couple of my friends have after being diagnosed with possible serious issues and i know it was stressful for them

Hi everyone,

Grub I noticed your due date of the 26th of June and then Possums commented that it is her birthday. Mine is the 28th June and the girl who was my best friend in Primary school was the 27th of June so anywhere around that time is sure to bring a beautiful soul! LOL

The IVF clinic finally returned my call from Friday this afternoon. I was a bit anxious about stopping the progesterone injections and pressaries (completely stopping without weaning off slowly). I had been on once a day injections and twice daily pressaries but apparently the doctor is confident it is fine to stop cold turkey (mind you I have had no blood tests to check my progesterone levels since I started on the injections at 4 weeks).

Anyway they have now booked me for my "10 week scan" for next Wednesday (when I will actually be 11weeks 2 days). But probably a good idea since I leave for 10 days in New Zealand the next day and therefore don't get to have the 12 week scan until I am 13 weeks and 1 day. Hopefully I won't be faced with any bad news just before my holiday. I've kept meaning to organise travel insurance just in case anything went wrong while I was away or before I left and I had to cancel but I'm not sure if pregnancy is covered. I've tried checking out a few policies online but can't find any mention of pregnancy either way... does anyone know? Might have to make an appointment to see a travel agent and get them to organise it but not sure how happy they'll be when I have already booked everything else privately.

Lori
DD - 14.

Hey Lori - just saw your post re travel insurance. Just be careful as I know the one I usually use (HBF) says for pregnancy:

(it covers) "single pregnancy up to and including the 28th week and providing there are no known complications and that the conception was not medically assisted."

I'm sure they aren't all like that but worth checking before you buy!

worrywort- hi...sorry I missed your post before...not long to go! numb hands dont sound fun

and bugs mum thanks for the list

lori- yes check policies carefully...i know some dont cover ivf pregnancies as bugsmum says and also pre-existing conditions like those i have, so no cover for me for pregnancy related stuff. maybe call them up and ask to get a definate answer.

Hi BugsMum and Possums,

Thanks for the advice... it is a worry if they specifically say they won't cover IVF pregnancies... one would wonder why they specifically state that... I mean I know statisically we have a slightly higher chance of complications but I wouldn't think it was high enough to warrant not offering any cover for cancelled travel plans. I think I will definately need to see a travel agent to organise it and yes I will read the fine print carefully.

Lori
DD - 14

DR, POssums - hey hey that sounds like a good time of year to be born!!! my date has been revised to June 23 but i don't put a lot weight into their guesses, just know at some stage around late June we'll have number 2!

sorry DR can't help with the insurance thing. but good luck with the scan. waht date is that???

ww - oh fingers crossed it's soon!!!

afu - well i'm really worrying... I'm from FNQ, specifically the cairns area! my mum is here and so had to leave dad home alone. it was all sorted before this cyclone got all serious, usually they taunt them for awhile and obviously aren't this nasty. So i just hope dad is okay, we've got an old house that was renovated (to cyclone standards) but it's still a real worry. and the phones will probably go out, we lost the mobile towers with larry as well - so might not be able to hear if dad is okay for a few days! eek. Mum is having a major freak out and crying... but she does tend to love a bit of drama so i feel bad for her, but then get cranky when she says just silly things. the rest of the family should be fine. cross your hearts and fingers for all my family and friends in FNQ... and everyone in the region.

oxoxo

Good luck Grub... hope your dad will be fine. As long as he is prepared and set up in a small room, it will be a hard few days until you hear from him. x