Pregnancy after Miscarriage or Loss ~ January 2011 #2

hi dory, well now shes taken a test and she said there is a really faint positive line, i tried to tell her to get another one & test with first morning urine but she kept saying well the packet didnt say that blah blah, like how many times have done a hpt? i think id know..
i know when i wanted it so badly to be positive ive often thought ive seen a really faint positive line, and it wasnt.. im trying to be supportive but she is seriously doing my head in. i want to support her but its annoying i cant even have a pregnancy to myself!

Alish - I think you're amazing trying to support her..... maybe if it is a bfp, then you'll be able to share the journey... that can be nice... but even more so once bubs is here.

Oh congrats on getting beyond your vodoo dates too - you mentioned it earlier. Isn't it awesome to be the pregnant - est you've ever been? I celebrated that milestone in Hannahs pregnancy by writing a message on my tummy and taking a photo and then leaving it on there for my obs appointment. Got to grab those moments when we can huh?

Eeek! I'm so behind! I can't catch up but i feel guilty not to try so....*deep breath!*

Freya: There is no way of saying anything to make it better but I am so sorry you have suffered another loss. So very unfair. I hope you have another sticky BFP very soon.

FOrshelby::happybirthday: I hope you have a lovely day with DP and a GD friendly chocolate cake!

Mildez and Melster: So sorry you lovely ladies are having such stress with ex-es and current partners. I'm sure you are right MIldez and being pg and hormonal doesn't help make all the stress any easier. I wish you ladies get some solutions soon and that your hubbies remember that it's you that needs some rest and spoiling. GBHs.

Ferrals: Woo Hoo! Yay for maternity leave!!! So glad you can rest your weary pg self! And what a gorgeous DP to spoil you like he does!

Alish: It's really hard when you feel yourself start to go a different way to your bestie or even when you are just on different wavelengths for a while. This kick she is on with "i'm pg/i'm not" "i want a baby/i don't" Must really be doing your head in when you really want your baby and just want some support from her right now. I hope she realises that soon and gives you a little back too. Oh, and with the blood test i had mine done around 10 weeks. The nuchal u/s can be done 12- 13 wks i think? Mine is Tuesday! So excited for you that you are at your pregnantest!

Clairesmummy: Hang in there. The cramping is such a stress i know because it's hard to know what it's about. I've had quite a bit on and off with this pg. BUt so far so good and i'm 12wks today! Your ticker is moving along nicely too!
T-hopes: So very sorry about your MIL. I hope she is here and well enough to enjoy her grandchild for a while after s/he arrives.
Damprye: Good luck with your u/s! Mine is day after yours!
Reet: Glad you are enjoying your boogeying little bubs!
Dory: Shame your spa day got interrupted but good on you for trying to set up some pamper time. I hope it works out next time. How lovely to have family who can set you free for a little while. That is precious time to keep a mummy sane!
Sunshine and Stars: THinking of you and little Obie- what a lovely story behind his name- and hoping he is doing well.
Angelfish: Hope you are feeling a bit better and able to enjoy little Honour. Glad to hear from you.
Kitfaerie: If you are lurking at all, hope you are enjoying little Samuel and all is well.
Tegam: Hello to you and Miss Molly. How fast she is growing!

AFM: I am 12 weeks today! I had an OB appointment THursday and my little 'plum' was measuring 2 days ahead! I have my official Nuchal scan on Tuesday. I've been nervous about it. Don't want to get this far only to find out there's a problem. But all looks good so far so... courage! Oh, and i worked out that as of this week i've given myself over 50 injections now (of clexane)! Are there any medals in that?!!!

Possums - congrats on 12 weeks. GL with your nuchal scan AND yes there must be a medal in having over 50 injections already.... the number at the end of it all must be truly staggering.... eeek. Thanks for your kind words.

Oh well off to bed for me.

thanks dory- i feel abit relieved to be past the 8 weeks but its not over yet! ill feel much better once i get my 12 week scan!
possum - i have a feeling she is pregnant but i just dont want all her drama that is attached to it. as much as i love her she is a very selfish person, 2 months ago she didnt even want a baby and im p*ssed off now she is doing it cuz i am.. oh well, not much i can do about it.
congrats for being 12 weeks! how exciting you get to see your little plum soon!
im going to get the blood test done on tuesday and ill try to book in for u/s when im 11wks6days.. plus thats my arvo off work to so it will work in well

have a lovely day everyone

Possum Magic fantastic news about your Ob appintment and reaching the 12week stage. It wont be long and we will be waiting for your morphology scan next. Yeah on seeing bub again tomorrow. When is your appointment?

Thanks for the wishes on DH and I. Things have improves since my spaz attack at him the other day. I'm not worried now about our marriage although I'm also not holding my breath either expecting things to improve dramatically. I think when I stop working things will improve as DH wont have the work load he currently does with the kids when I'm at work with breaking up the fights etc.

BBL.

Awwwwww i just need to share as DH is still not working and we are povo and cant buy each other anything he stayed up after i went to bed and unknown to me made me a heart shaped chocolate mud cake with I LOVE YOU in white chocolate iceing on it. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love him him.

Thats just gorgeous Ferrals. Your DH loves you very much. Is your little girl moving more today? My bubba is still very quiet. I see my Ob tomorrow and hopefully he can give me some reassurance. Are you on weekly appointments?

OMG Ferrals- ur man deserves the MAN OF THE YEAR AWARD!!! That is SO BEAUTIFUL of him! I just cant believe that any man is actually like that! Most women arent even like that! U are one lucky ducky :) Enjoy ur cake... i am super jealous!!!

Alish- I dont think i cld handle having that person as my friend for a little while! She sounds really selfish and way too much hard work! Just concentrate on ur own journey for a little while. What got me about her too was why she cldnt get her own morning after pill??! Why did u have to get it???! It sounds like teenager stuff to me.. like shes too embarrassed to buy it for herself. I reckon give her a few weeks to mature a bit and then start contacting her again.. thats just my harsh opinion tho! :) Yay for ur upcoming scan! Not long to go!

Damprye- Good luck at ur scan today!!!

Mildez- I hope ur Ob can reassure u tomoro that bubba is happy.

Possum- CONGRATULATIONS on reaching the lovely 12 week mark!! Best of luck at ur scan tomoro, i hope u get a couple of good pics. Is ur appointment in the morning or do u have to wait all day??

AFM- Im feeling a bit anxious.. ive been reading on here a few ladies that have lost their babies right at the very end of their pregnancies.. has absolutely freaked me out! Im in the mind frame that i want this baby out sooner rather then later.. i know its too early now but maybe if i cld start doing something at 35 weeks to help labour along... I know i just have to relax cos the longer the baby is in the better but its just so scary. I think thats the main reason i still havent done anything to get ready for baby.. no cot etc.. i just imagine setting the room up for it and then having no baby to come home to it.. and then i think stop being stupid.. these thoughts are going to make something bad happen! I finally got rid of the queen bed yesterday out of the babies room so thats a start i guess..!
Sorry to be a downer.. hopefully my thoughts brighten up a bit soon! :)

xxx

Sorry havent been posting at all - i have thr same fears as you Reet. Skybie losing her baby boy jack was awful and made me want my boy out now even though hes not ready. Seems so unsafe in there which is irrational i know. Hes been kicking so much it makes me feel better. I feel really down when i should be happy. I just want him safe and alive in my arms.

Reet and Kellbell your not alone in your fears. I feel very similar thinking as soon as I am term I'll be encouraging labour to start. I feel my body to is unsafe which is ridiculous really when we have gotton pregnant and got to this stage so really we are doing everything right. Ill be asking for an induction as soon as my no intervention Ob will allow (it will be 40weeks at earliest knowing him I'm sure) and am more then happy for coninuous monitoring. Induction and the cascade of intervention doesn't worry me for myself the slightest. Its so predictable. Its natural labour thats not so predictable. The reason for my induction on my notes will read maternal anxiety. I'm completely honest. When its safe I want her out within reason. The whole lack of movements is the concern.

Reet lol about women not been like that. I made my DH a pile of heart shaped cupcakes. He came home when I wasn't expecting him to whilst they were cooking so I had to cover the oven with a teatowel and fortunately he didn't look in to see what was cooking before the master pieces were complete. Agree but Ferrals DH gets the husband of the year whilst mine is in the sin bin lol

S&S thinking of your little Obie and praying his going from strength to strength.

haha Mildez- Oh ur a good wifey! :) well maybe most women are like that and im just not! Come on.. ive only been married for a yr and a half.. i have a few things to learn obviously! My dh is away so we both get out of it... i looked into getting him something delivered where he is staying.. like choccies and roses.. but it was going to be so expensive! I told him last night that i had looked into it and he said 'the thoughts nice but i wld have been p***ed off if u had!! What a waste of money!' haha so im glad i didnt! He can be romantic but his is more spontaneous.. like when i found out i was pg he went out and bought me a $1800 diamond ring..! I was grateful but we SO cldnt afford it.. how can u get angry tho!! I honestly dont know how ur relationship can be a bit 'rocky' at the moment! U romantically cook ur dh lovely little cupcakes.. AND u give him a lot of love making sessions thanks to those awful veins!! haha. Gosh when im not happy with my dh he gets nothing... and thats a huge shock to his system as hes used to getting it everyday! :)

Kell- Ive been wondering where u are! Im glad im not the only one.. but its such an awful feeling i wish none of us felt like this! Yep it was Skybies story that started me off.. the poor thing :( i just cant imagine it.. right now its my worst nightmare and shes living it. My little one has been kicking and moving around heaps too.. and i just look down and feel my tummy and LOVE everything about it so much but that fear just wont leave the back of my mind. I am loving being pg but i just cant wait for the next 10 weeks to be over.. the worst thing is i cant talk to my dh about my feelings. He gets angry at me for being negative.. obviously he just doesnt understand! He is a pretty big believer that if u think about something too much u will make it happen. If anyone has read 'The Secret' or 'The Power of Now' u will understand where hes coming from. U know whats really f***ed up.. every night when i go to bed i say a huge thankyou for my baby still being alive and pray that i wake up in the morning and can still feel it kicking. Messed up or what?! I stop about 1 billion times throughout the day to make sure i can feel babies movements.. luckily i never have to wait too long for it too happen but gosh ill be a mess if baby starts having some quiet days! Stupid me read some article last night about monitoring babies movements, it said that cord compression can cause the baby to stop moving as frequently but it can also make the baby have a huge fit type thing where u can just feel it going crazy.. gosh u just cant win!!! Anyway i hope i havent depressed u anymore with my ramblings.. we can all be here for eachother.. counting down the days til we meet our little ones.. :) xxx

Mildez- Oh i think i will definitely be trying to get induced at 40 weeks too then.. altho im not too sure if my dh or ob will be too keen on that. I think from 36 weeks i will just start doing all those things that apparently bring labour on.. waxing.. lots of sex.. big walks.. Can anyone else tell me any tips???!

xx

Reet the only thing I was going to do to "induce myself" was sex and walking. Trying to remain upright alot which is not going to be easy as I sit alot on this computer. I might try a hot spicy meal but knowing my luck it will send me into labour and I will have diarrhea. How embarrassing would that be? Pushing with the runs. Maybe some rasp leaf tea would help. I'll start around the 38weeks I guess and hopefully she is hear by 39weeks (I haven't been beyond that before) if not I'll be asking for a S&S and if that doesn't work and more sex I'm praying my Ob will let me have an IOL if the cervix is favourable around my EDD. I'm even considering booking my own induction date now lol. The 10th of April sounds like a good date to me just a few days before my EDD. My 12week scan gave me at date of the 11th April but we are going on my LMP of the 13th. A scan at 6weeks said 12th April.

Getting really P***ed of with my internet/phone atm. I will do a decent post and try to post, will have full reception yet it wont bloody post and then my phone glitches, resets and I have lost everything yet again *deep breath* trying to calm back down again lol. Pg hormones do not make things any easier though lol

I really wish I couls go by my LMP date. I'd be due 16th Aug instead of 31st. Come to think of it, all my pregnancies have said that I am two weeks behind what I am supposed to be. Even the one where I only slept with XDP the once in the months surrounding and DNA test proved DS to be his. Maybe I should bring that up with my OB today... I'd be 13w6d if I went via LMP

reet - i know right, i think because she is "so well known around town" she didnt want people talking about her, spare me!

ferrals - thats so cute what a lovely dh

my dh woke me up this morning with a flower in my face, unfortunatly the flower stank like garlic and i woke up heaving and felt sick for the morning lol.. god love him though, what a nice though considering we dont celebrate valentines day and he is the most unromantic person ever! i love him more everyday!

hope everyone is having a nice valentines day

This is going to be a long one............ you ladies have been chatty!

Reet - I always was happy not having any friends, but then I thought I stumbled across a few when I started working with these ladies. You're so right though, I usually would avoid throwing parties etc to avoid being let down if nobody came...... but I thought this time would be different. And I didn't want to let my fear get in the way of what could have been a lovely occasion. Shows what happens when you try to be brave huh lol. Like you, I'm lucky that DP is my best friend and we've always got eachother. It makes me feel bad seeing how sad he is for me though, he's so cute. He's hoping to be able to take a month off at least but we just aren't sure where that money will come from. I think I'll have to do some rough budgeting and see how we go. 2 weeks would be enough though I suppose. I agree it would make a difference if he could just do his normal hours.... but sadly he doesn't get a choice whether or not he does OT. If there's more orders to be delivered, then that's that and it has to be done. We'll cope though, I just feel sad for him missing out on special time with the baby. About my bday, thanks for remembering me, and I did manage to have a yummy dessert when we went out for dinner with a couple we're good friends with. (Our only friends as it seems.) They even bought me a lovely present so I felt really special. Now enough about me, how cute that your bubby is always poking and prodding you hehe. I hope you didn't hurt yourself falling UP the steps lol. They say that's good luck though to trip up stairs... so yay for that? Your DH was sweet to fix your pants up for you, and it's so good that he was concerned and making sure to take good care of you. I say lap it up woman, :) There were a lot of stairs at the restaurant last night and DP was holding onto me for dear life, making sure I didn't fall.......... we are both lucky to have such caring men.

Dory - You're so right... I used to avoid those situations for that reason. I used to kick myself for 'missing out' on parties because I was too chicken to invite anyone. Now I realise I was better off that way :( I know exactly how you felt when your friends didn't bother to show up for your birthday party...... "stones into your heart" so true. And the christening? I would be even madder about that.. that's a once in a lifetime thing. A wise man once said that if you expect nothing, you won't be disappointed. But that's the hard part. How do you NOT expect your friends and family to want to celebrate important occasions in your life? I don't know how to 'turn off' that feeling of hurt and rejection. I'll let you know though when I work it out. :) I hope you enjoyed your cupcake in my honour. I'm dying to know how it tasted lol, and of course am very much looking forward to enjoying some cake together in person to celebrate bubby's arrival.

Clairesmummy - I had cramping too around 8 weeks, don't push any panic buttons yet hun. The nausea was also much the same, coming mostly when I was overly hungry. So sorry to hear about your DF's Grandma, what sad news. :hug:

Melster - I think the saying is misery loves company?? It does help to know I'm not the only one feeling down. We can all share our boo hoos and hopefully feel better after. Don't you hate when you cry at an awkward time/place? LOL, worst thing ever. I hope you can work things out with your hubby soon. It must be rough.

Alish - Good luck with your upcoming scan! About your friend, well this is only my opinion and by no means do you have to agree with it.......... but WOAH, I would be burning that bridge. Here's how I see it from the outside. She's selfish. She's an attention seeker. She isn't there for you when you need her support, and you both have VERY different views in terms of pregnancy, and different moral standards as well. (Not that I am judging her choice to take the morning after pill... but why did she have to get you involved??? Seems really high-school.) I'm not surprised you're having trouble believing her.... I would be sceptical too. Honestly though, all you can do is look at the facts and make your decision based on that. How does she make you feel? Do you look forward to the time you spend together? What are YOU getting from the relationship. That's my perspective.

Mildez - Maybe it's a good thing that your DH sees things differently to you? Keep up the communication, you will sort through it one way or another. Nothing is solved if there's no talking. :hug: I hope you can enjoy your one day off, though I know one day is never enough.

Freya - I am so sorry to hear your sad news. Nothing I can say will ease your pain, I know. But I hope you know all our hearts are aching for your loss, and that you aren't alone. :heartbeat:

Damprye - Good luck for your NT scan!

Ferrals - HOORAY FOR MATERNITY LEAVE!!! I am so excited for you. And wow, what a lovely DH you have to run you a bubble bath and do all those other things for you. If you're concerned about your little princess's activity, don't hesitate to see someone about it. I think my bub has slowed down a bit with movements but they're still fairly prominent at times. Let us know how things go. Oh and the mud cake for valentines day............. SO BEAUTIFUL. I think you officially have the most thoughtful DH in the history of the world, lol. We actually don't celebrate v-day, with my birthday the day before.... it's just not all that practical. I don't mind at all though, DP spoils me randomly all the time with plenty of attention. Still I will be sharing this little story with him so he can go 'AWWWWW' with me hehehehe.

Possum - Congratulations on reaching the 12 week mark. What a great milestone that one is. Good luck for your scan, and yes I definitely think there should be some kind of medal for giving yourself that many injections. I don't even like doing the finger needle thing to monitor my blood sugar.

Reet again - I have been feeling exactly the same worries after reading some of the sad stories of late loss recently on here. I don't have any advice, but I agree, it's hard! We also made the exact same remarks about alish's friend......... freaky. I think I have another cosmic twin! (Dory is my first lol)

Kellie - :hug: Well said, and agreed. Look at your ticker flying along.... yay!

AFM - Thank you all for the birthday wishes, made my day. We didn't do anything super duper special, as our money situation isn't so great, but it was still a nice day. I suppose as I get older I feel less and less like it should be MY day, and I just want cake and a nice dinner lol. Anyway, a couple we're good friends with went out to dinner with us (buffet... YES!) and they were just lovely, spoiling me by bringing me a present and all. I got a beautiful frame to put a picture of bubby in when he/she arrives, as well as a really pretty necklace which sparkles like you wouldn't believe. I think DP felt a bit sad because he hadn't gotten me anything, but we talked about it beforehand and I told him that my gift from him is growing in my tummy. It's not about getting stuff, it's about people celebrating with you and making you feel special. He did his part, rubbed my feet and even gave me a bit of a pedicure since I had cracked old lady heels... LOL.

I packed my labour bag on Saturday, which was exciting, and spent most of the day yesterday washing bubby's clothes and blankets so we're all prepared. I actually really enjoyed washing baby clothes, they're so cute and small, it was thrilling! Clearly, I take pleasure in the simple things in life hehe. I was also lucky enough to have my mum call me and instruct me to (and I quote) "go and get everything you need for the hospital TODAY, I'm putting $100 in your account on Monday because I can't sleep knowing your bag isn't packed." LOL.. I was telling her how I didn't have enough knickers or pj pants or anything really, so she said I should enjoy one last birthday spoiling myself before bubby comes along. I'm also on strict instructions not to go anywhere by myself in case I go into labour.. lol. Mothers can be amusing at times. At least she seems to be more excited and supportive now she's finished playing her stupid mindgames.

OK, so that was long. I need to keep up better! I think it's time for lunch and a snooze, I'm exhausted after that marathon post!

forshelby - oh my god you only have 29 days to go! how excitinnnnnnng!!!
yeah im seriously rethinking my friendship with her, im not as angry today and if she is pregnant she is pregnant, good for her. im just going to focus on my baby, thats all that matters :)

Mildez-yes the little bugger moved and figited all night and kept waking me with big boots in the ribs THANK GOD! they know how to stress their mummies dont they.
I have u/s wed and OB friday i am going to push for a ceasar at 37 weeks i an a nervous wreak at the moment and want her out safe.
Today she hasnt stopped moved moving:D

Reet-me to i have read about those ladies losing bubs right at the end and i have given mildez and ear bashing with my freaking out i am on egg shells waiting for something bad to happen when we are suposed to be enjoying our pregnancies.
Thank god i am having a c section now i didnt want one but now bring it on.
Castor oil worked for me twice.

LOL my fave thing i have done for my DH was to pack his lunch box for work and take a bite out of his sandwich and leave a note that said love you my sexy man you can take a bite out of me when you get home lol he loved it.

Forshelby-what would we do without our mums mine gave me $100 to fill the freezer with meat before bub comes and i only have 30 DAYS until my c section i wonder if our babies will share their birthday.

AFM-Little miss is moving heaps today so i feel better but i am still going to push for a c section at 37 weeks.