Pregnancy after miscarriage or loss ~ November 2010

Hi Girls, i am so far behind that i dont think i can even try to catch up! I have been reading everyday but havent been up to posting. Sadly enough this pregnancy has been the last thing on my mind for the last 4 days :(
I am starting to feel a little better, still crying atleast 5 times during the day but better then all day i guess. We are picking up her ashes and collar on thurs so im sure ill be crying for a little longer but then i shld be able to start moving on and concentrating on this little bubba inside me!
Dh is away til thurs or friday and its killing me! I just find myself at home not knowing what to do with myself and end up doing my head in thinking about her funny moments and then last few hrs.. :( All good tho.. ill get there!

I hope ur all doing wonderfully, i will start properly posting from now on about pg related stuff.

xxx

PS. I HAVE MY SCAN IN 3 DAYS!!! Happy days after that :)

So sorry Reet to hear about your furbaby -big hugs it must be heartbreaking. That stupid man going too fast down
the street :-(
Good luck for your scan this week and i hope bubby gives you some nice pics

We have had no internet telstra cut a line somewhere and took days to fix it
anyway all back on line now and ill try and keep up too

My little man is breech i know heaps of time to move yet. but i wonder how late before he cant turn himself around?

I went baby clothes shopping today for little blue things gotta restrain myself but they are all so cute

I have a little disco dancer in my tummy tonight isnt it the best thing ever :D

Reet i am so sorry to hear about your pet i know how much love goes into having one. Good luck on your scan this week

As for my bf ex we dont know yet how long it will last. But yes she started her own bussiness also but if she is getting help from the goverment i dont know if she is claiming it or not. If i was not pregnate i would not even think about it but at this point i just want to call and report her for having the bussiness. All she does is throw adult toy partys. She started that but she has never been able to go out and work she always gets fired or comes up with an excuse why she cant. I was not working before i got pregnate i was out on disabilites but i know that i have to put on my big girl pants and once she is here i have to go get a job. My bf might be a jerk at times but he does not desive this he is a father that wants something to do with his kids and he pays what he has too when he is suppose to.
sorry for the rant but this is going to affect the new one what we can afford and what we cant. Dont get my wrong if you cant work or you need help then go for it but some one who make a carrer out of and has more kids.There is allot that happened between then and she should not have kids that is all i am going to say the two fathers at this point should. She abusies the men who she is with my bf still has makes on him from what she did to him :(

Off under my rock

Kellbell-they can turn pretty late my 2nd son was breech at 36 weeks and they said i could have a ceasar or try a natural birth so i opted to try natural but a week later at 37 weeks i was going for a walk down to the local shops and stopped dead in my tracks with the most uncomfortable (not really painful) but bloody awful feel i looked at my belly and you could see bub had turned sideways transverse my belly was like a watermelon on its side and i couldnt move and then he moved a little more to right himself and i felt normal again.
Next mw visit and he was head down i can tell you it was a tight fit but he did it.

Angelfish-we have issues with child support here also but when bub turns up DH wont have to pay nearly as much.
His daughter has everything she needs here and does not go without but we dont go overboard and buy to much as we only have her every 2nd weekend and i was sick of wasting money on all the clothes she never got to wear because she grew out of them so i only buy a little so its just enough to do her but her mother is a skank she wont spend a thing on her wont even get her a hair cut and for her birthday and xmass poor DSD will get shoes/slippers 2-3 sizes to big because they were on special at the time and will do her for the next few years but she cant wear them for 2 years.
And the latest thing her mother has told her from last xmass and last Bday when i asked her what she got she said mum has brought me a DS and 3 games but has packed them away and cant find them:o WTF or she is waiting for the game she wants to go on special so didnt get anything for her Bday except some PJs and cheapy sh#t toys and the poor little bugger still hasnt got her DS console or games her mother suposedly packed away last xmass but we got her one last year which stays at our house.

oh Reet - im sobbing my heart out reading your post, i must have missed the original post and didnt know about your darling puppy - im so very sad to hear of your loss. My heart breaks for you as I know how much my two boys (our dogs) mean to us! They are our everything and the only thing that has got us thru all the tears and heart break that the last few yrs have dealt us... take your time with your grief... you will get thru it but never over it and nor should you - the love our animals give us is so pure & magical - we never forget it and will feel it around us forever. look after yourself darling xx

Reet......oh im so sorry you're having such a hard time...its hard when you loose someone or a pet....hope you feel a bit better soon and have a great scan

Kellbell...i know DD went breach and i had to get on all fours and wriggle...i did it every night for about a week or more...its quiet hard because i was so heavy it was hard being on all fours...and she turned around..

Angelfish/ferrals....you're situation seems so similar to ours.....the ex is always trying to get away with everything and always is dishonest...hubby has always supported his kids and always wanted to, but boy would she put on a performance if she didnt get what she wanted. But then times turned when we had two of them.....she went out of her way to hide her buisness and she wouldnt do her tax returns etc......until she got busted of course, and we eventually dobbed her in. We needed that money just as much as she did. She was also claiming centerlink so she is in heaps of trouble now. and yet again, she started another business from home and is not claiming anything again!!!!! When will she learn. She also doesnt look after the kids, she never buys them anything, they come over with holes in there shoes, old raggy clothes that are unclean, the kids would cry at there b'days etc...she would do the same...OH ill take you to the shops later and buy you something but then she never did. She would buy some presents, the others non....broke our hearts!!!!!!!!!! and at one stage when she was getting a hefty amount with hubby working, we couldnt even afford food sometimes......yet the kids still didnt have anything, she didnt even feed them properly....so i completely understand........we were worried if we dobbed her in we would end up with all the kids full time........some mothers...actually i wouldnt call them mothers...shouldnt be allowed to have kids....especially ours....i know when you have depended children they dont get as much...so once you'res is born let CS know.....maybe you should dob her in, but it just depends on the outcome......

Melstar-it sux doesnt it DH ex also went on holiday overseas just before their daughters Bday and that was paid for by DH tax return and poor DSD was promised a DSi console from her mother when she got back but of course the hoilday was more important and DSD was dumped at the grandparents place and still didnt get her DSi.

Hi girls!

Just popping my head in to say hi, and that everything is wonderful. Our baby girl is the most amazing thing that ever happened to us. We had a wonderful birth, and our first week has been great - I am just loving it. Hope you guys are all doing OK - haven't had time to read through everything yet!

Hey audax....did you write you're birth story anywhere...cant wait to hear...glad things are going so well

hugs

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Hi girls!

Just popping my head in to say hi, and that everything is wonderful. Our baby girl is the most amazing thing that ever happened to us. We had a wonderful birth, and our first week has been great - I am just loving it. Hope you guys are all doing OK - haven't had time to read through everything yet!

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So exciting to hear from you! YAY for a nice birth and good first week!

Reet - It must be hard with DH away, but feel free to come in here and talk about your furbaby all you want to. She was a part of the family and deserves to be remembered. :) Can't wait to hear how your scan goes, how exciting!

Kellie - How nice being able to buy boy stuff, I guess that's a plus in knowing the sex! I look at pink and blue and have to restrain myself from both... lol. My bubby is breech also, I'm pretty sure they can turn just days before birth if they decide to wait that long. Most do turn though, so fx both of our little ones behave themselves and find their way to the exit :)

Angelfish - Ugh she sounds horrible! I hope karma sorts her out quicksmart. Just remember though, as sad as it makes you not being able to have the best of the best things for your little one, what they need most is love, and you'll have plenty of that to throw around. Money is only money, but being a loving family is so much more important. We could've gotten a lot more stuff for this baby but we decided to keep the cash in our pockets for DP to be able to take more leave, and give our baby the gift of two parents at home to bond and welcome him/her. I think we've only spent about $300 so far and we have almost everything we need. By the time we're done I think we will have spent about 5 or $600 total. :)

Audax - Congratulations again! So great to hear you had a wonderful birth experience, and I hope you're enjoying bonding with your beautiful little girl.

AFM - Well, on the subject of ex's, I would just like to thank my lucky stars that DP and his ex gf (they were together 10 years) never had kids. She hung around in the background for the first 18 months or so of our relationship, and if it wasn't for my kindness towards her, it would have caused a lot of problems for us. For a long time I turned a blind eye and allowed DP to help her out when she was stuck and in really desperate situations, and eventually things worked out. She seems to be doing a lot better for herself now (from what little I hear) and she doesn't interfere in our relationship by calling constantly anymore. About a year ago I did have to put my foot down and tell her to back off, and leave us alone as it wasn't appropriate to call her ex at 9pm to laugh at an amusing ad she saw on TV. (especially when we were in bed... *ahem*) I can't imagine how hard it would be to deal with an ex you CAN'T just remove from your lives... that must be so tough.

Anyway, that's my little ramble about ex gfs, lol. I had a lovely morning today hanging out where I used to work catching up with all my old colleagues. I spent about 2 hours there doing the rounds and letting everyone cop a good feel of my belly. LOL. I've never been rubbed so much in one day! I ended up sitting down at an empty desk (which happened to be my old workstation when I first started there) and remembering the good old days. I never thought I'd miss my old job so much! Mostly it's the social contact I miss, but I know it'd be different if I was still working there. Right now I'm enjoying being the centre of attention when I visit, and it's so cute seeing everyone get all excited to see me and examine my bump. :)

me is HOT and does not like today at all!

Kell- How did u find out ur baby is breech?? From ur last u/s?? Gosh i just assumed the baby kept doing little somersaults until closer to the end when it moved into the right position.. the little kicks or elbows i feel are always all over the place on my tummy.. hhmmm it will be interesting to see on friday how baby is sitting!

Angelfish- Sorry to hear ur going thru so much crap with ur bfs ex. Just make sure u put urself and ur little baby first. I cant believe how close u are to meeting ur little bubba!! :)

T-Hopes- Congratulations on reaching ur 14 wk milestone!!! and thanku for ur kind words.. I was and am still absolutely devastated.. i cant see myself ever moving on and not crying over how much im missing her :( Before i felt like the only one that has ever cried over a dog that has died but ive realised from chatting to u lovely bb girls (i also did a post in the boohoo room) that it is normal for the pain to be overwhelming when something happens to our beloved pets.. it just sux that she was only 10 months old, she was so cute with so much energy and cheekiness.. i cant stand the thought that shes gone.. oh here we go again... :cry:

Melster- Whens ur next drs appointment or u/s??? I hope ur slowly starting to feel more positive and that ur m/s disappears soon!!

Audax- Woohoo congratulations!!! So happy that u had such a great birth and enjoying every minute with ur gorgeous little girl :)

Forshelby- So lovely that u had a good little outing at ur old work :) does the boss ever get angry when ur there cos not much work gets done by everyone else??! :)

Hi to all u other lovely ladies too and thanku everyone for all ur kinds words.. really really appreciate it xx

AFM- Still just moping :( i try my hardest to be strong and can go a few hrs without crying but it ends up catching up with me and im a mess. I feel as tho i shld be starting to move on but im not.. i cant even really bring it up with dh anymore.. i know im starting to frustrate him a bit with all my tears.. he loved her just as much as i did but i guess im just different to him.. hes had dogs die in the past.. he knows how to deal with the grief.. i have no idea... ive never missed anything so much in my life... i just want to wake up and have her back. Theres so many 'if onlys' that are constantly running thru my head.. if only we werent playing with her outside in the first place.. if only she hadnt run to the neighbours house to play with the dog... if only we had waited 30 seconds to call her back... IF ONLY THE MAN WLD HAVE BRAKED... if only she didnt die...
I try my hardest to forget the moment just before she was hit.. she was running back to us full speed with such excitement and then the loud thud.. the poor little thing didnt know what hit her...
I was about a metre off hitting a wallaby on my way home tonight but managed to brake and miss it.. why cldnt he??!!!!!
ANYWAY ANYWAY ANYWAY GOTTA STOP! Howling like a baby again.. im so sorry to bring my sadness in here and bring u all down...

Maybe my hormones are making things 10 times harder... who knows... i just know i cant keep going on like this. Pls send me some strength!!!

On a happier note.. baby has been kicking heaps lately.. maybe its trying to make me happy :) Im really hoping this scan on friday brings a whole lot of positivity with it!

Love to u all and once again sorry for being such a downer!

xxx

thank you everyone for your help
But just when i thought things could not get worse bf got another court summons yesterday haivng to appear three hours away in court now she is trying to say that he has become emotional abusive since he found out i was pregnate which is such BS and she is trying to get supervised vistation. She is going to make the last few well so bad
I cant believe that my lil baby girl will be here in just a few short weeks :)

Reet-you are right at this stage they roll all over the place my little miss will be head down and kick me near the ribs and all around the top ect and the next day i can feel her feet kicking away down low and OMG! it feels like they are going to pop out my Vjay jay.

Angelfish-Grrrrrr!!!!! ex's they just suck i hope it all turns out in your bf favour.

Forshelby-I am soooooooooo jealous you have already left work i am starting to feel the exhaustion creeping in but with DH out of work i have had to pick up an extra shift a week which is an extra $250 a week oh well only 8 weeks left.

AFM-Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired.

Oh ferrals: you are doing se much for your family! Sorry times are so tough!

Reet: :( you make me so sad you poor thing. I am so sorry :(

Angel: Pooh situation but YAY on bubs not being far away!

:hello: everyone else!

Tegam - I'll second that! I woke up in the middle of the night all sweaty so I had to rip off my nightie and sleep topless, LOL. I think DP wondered what i got up to during the night when he woke up for work. :)

Reet - Nope, the bosses never get cranky when I arrive. Because there's so many people there I just move around and when someones phone rings or they have something to do I move on and come back later. My old boss is especially fond of my visits, I usually sit beside her at her desk and let her inspect the belly lol. It's nice to feel so welcome even though I don't work there anymore. I'm free to just stroll on in and move around the building as I please whereas other visitors aren't. :) Lucky me. About your puppy, nobody is truly gone as long as we remember them. I think that goes for pets too. I think it's definitely harder for you being your first loss of a pet, and the fact that you're pg. Heck I cried watching Friends the other day, lol. Try not to indulge in the 'if onlys'. There's nothing that can be done now to change it. Don't feel guilty either, as it's not your fault. It's just a matter of taking each day as it comes, and grieving as you need to. But don't for one second think you did anything to cause this, because you didn't. :hug: Like I said before, you can talk about your furbaby all you want. If you need to be captain bringdown for a while, I'd be happy to be your loyal sidekick, I just need a decent name. :) :hug:

Angelfish - Ugh it just gets worse and worse! Get yourself some good character witnesses. Can you testify also? I'm pretty sure YOU would know him pretty well. Also, perhaps her definition of emotionally abusive is 'no longer focussed solely on her'. It seems she's jealous that you're pg and she won't be the only woman with babies he's thinking about now. Is it possible for you to speak to her at all? How would she feel if someone was piling all this stress onto her during her last weeks of pregnancy? Maybe you can appeal to her sense of decency, if she has one.

Ferrals - Funny how we always want what we don't have no matter what it is. I'm jealous that you still have your job! LOL. I get so bored and lonely here by myself all day...... but I do enjoy the sleep. Not long now and you can be bored like me, LOL.

AFM - Not really much to report. It's hot here and I'm just dying for the weekend to come so I have DP home with me and I don't have to be so bored all the time. I know, I won't be bored when this bubby arrives, but right now I feel like I've been at home for an ETERNITY~!

Reet - sweetheart, you keep crying as much as you need! I would be exactly the same. I have lost a dog to old age and that was horrific enough for me, let alone seeing your poor darling in pain at such a young age... im sure she has found your angel baby in heaven and they are safe, happy and healthy together. Let those tears fall as long you need, better to deal with your emotions than bury them away :comfort: sending you lots of love and strength xx