Hi Frankie,
Just in regards to tearing - just because your mum and he rmum did, doesn't mean you have to. If you want to try and avoid it, there's things you can do - eg. perineal massage. Also, not pushing once the head crowns is meant to allow time for everything to stretch so that the head can fit through without tearing.
I wish I had really prepared DH on this one because when it came to crowning, I just couldn't wait to push her out and end that feeling (for me, it was the worst part). I ended up with a tear and stitches but I think if I'd had someone to coach me and remind me not to push for a couple of contractions, that I could have avoided it.
Good luck with whatever birth options you choose! :)
