Are we there yet?

I asked my sister to come and sit with DS for a few hours so I didn't have to call DP home from work (and cost us $120 in lost pay) but she was too busy with post-moving-house-cleaning. Thing is I msged her at like 4.30 in the morning.... it's not like she was cleaning right then. But no, I don't seem to rank highly on her list of things worth her time.

I ended up cracking it at her and told her I'd find someone else to watch DS when I go into labour as she's proven how disinterested and unreliable she is when I need help. I got no response whatsoever so I figure she's fine with not being a part of our lives. Awesome huh? :rolleyes:

Anyway I'm stll f****** pregnant. Still putting up with OBs who are acting like I'm a liability and going to die in labour (if I ever go into labour!) and I'm about ready to bust out the flamethrower.... lol. I'm so tired. So sore. The pain is incredible. Compared to being 41 weeks with DS, this is brutal. It hurts so much more this time and I don't know if it's because of the stress I'm under or what.

So here are my strategies.
Try not to freak out and get all stressed. (very very difficult and not going well)
guided meditation to help me sleep.... actually not going too badly.
bubble baths
hot showers
heat packs and hot water bottles
keeping the house organized without overdoing it (because mess = stress)
bouncing on my birth ball
spending time on my hands and knees
doing a few manoeuvres my student MW taught me for optimal positioning
cuddles with my 2 favourite men, big and little.
walking as much as I'm able without exhausting myself too much
eating spicy foods when the opportunity presents itself.
and avoiding people like the plague. especially those who keep asking what the hold up is and why I'm still pregnant. Like I said. Flamethrower time.

anything else I could be doing? Don't say sex. ughhhhhh.

double

Lunges and squats (if you can, I could get down but not up), stair walking.

Hope your wait is over soon xx

:hug: The waiting sure does suck, but it will happen - just have faith in that.

You could try some visualisation? When I was around 10 days over with DD2 (my first VBA2C) I sat in the shower that night, and just visualised her coming out of me and lifting her onto my chest. It was quite a powerful image for me (and I moved my hands like I had something in there ITMS). I also had a huge cry the night before going into labour about being scared of going into labour - because I was scared! And I didn't realise at the time that fear is pretty normal, but the biggest thing is you feel the fear and do it anyway.

Then when I was pregnant with DD3 and got to 10 days overdue, I wrote a huge fear list - I wrote down what was on my mind and what I was fearful of, and then I wrote down what would happen if those things happened. That gave me a sense of control and put my fears into perspective. So you could try that? I also had a big cry before going into labour with her too cos I was so freaking over being overdue!! I had SPD in both pregnancies so to get to nearly 42 weeks was terrible.

I think my biggest fear at the time was that I wouldn't go into labour - because I went to 42 weeks with DD1 and didn't go into labour, wasn't dilated more than 1cm and didn't want to be induced because she was up so high. So that experience (the stuff that caused my second c-section) was stuff in my head holding me back I think.

Always here if you need to chat to someone who gets it - because I remember it well (and am fully expecting to go through it again in three months time!)

:comfort: It will all be ok. This just sucks.

I had the huge cry this morning. I've visualized. I've talked about my fears at length. I've talked to my baby.... I'm not afraid of going into labour. im afraid of not going into labour.

:( I was induced at 41+3 with DS. I see the OB again on Tuesday and I'm anxious about it. the pressure is high for me to book another cs or dubmit to tgeir VEs and for wgat? to be told they won't induce because its too dangerous.

So write down that you are fearful of not going into labour.

Then write down what will happen. I think mine went something like I would go to 42 weeks and then I would have another csection. I don't ever want to be induced as a vbac - risk of rupture is too high for me personally. So I made peace with the fact that I might end up with another csection. However because I had awesome birth support it wouldn't be because of lack of trying for the vbac - itms?

Like this time round I'm having a homebirth and that's best case scenario - but if something does happen and I don't get it I know that it was necessary and supposed to happen - which makes it easier to deal with.

I went through 3 years of being disappointed and upset about dd1's failed vbac because I don't feel that I tried my hardest. I cried for every birthday. Its such a crap feeling, birth has such an effect on us.

Hopefully you went into labour overnight - but if you didn't - it will happen! Little buggers can't stay in there forever right? ;)

That's just it though. I'm really struggling to make peace with having another cs even if it's necessary. I'm terrified of it. I have no support for the recovery time. I don't know how I'd get through it.

I thought I'd be stronger than this but I don't think I realized just how much trauma I'm still carrying from DSs birth. I just sit through OB appts and smile and tell the dr to just relax...... but inside I feel sick.

I wish I could give you a big hug in real life. I wasn't carrying that much from my c-section with DS, I had a pretty good c-section apart from the epidural stuff up, but it wasn't because it was a bad experience that I went for a vbac, it was just because I didn't want another c-section. Believe me, I bawled the night before my c-section, absolutely bawled, I was totally gutted. I didn't want another one either!! I had worked so hard towards it, and to have it taken away from me like that - it truly was the worst night of my life.

You are strong, and you will get through this no matter how this little baby comes out. My midwife that night told me that some babies just are supposed to be born that way, and nothing we can do will stop that from happening. We can plan and hope and dream - but at the end of the day, its the baby that really decides how its supposed to be born. For Mehkelti, it was a c-section. I can even say that I had a great experience with her, except for the infection I got afterwards, but it was the grief from the loss of the vbac that absolutely destroyed me.

And even when I got my VBA2C - I was still upset about not getting my vbac.

I hope you don't think I'm trying to say that you won't succeed - far from it believe me!! I believe in people even if they don't believe in themselves ;) But I do know how you feel. And I do know where you are at. And I even had supportive people in my corner, my OB was fantastic and didn't pressure anything on me. I had a couple of threads going at the time about waiting to go into labour, and I also had a thread afterwards when I was pretty messed up about not getting it. You are welcome to read them if you want, my support thread for waiting to go into labour has some great affirmations and stuff in it - I'm sure its still around somewhere....

Hi FS

Hope your appt went well, and you have baby in your arms soon. You are a strong woman and I pray you feel loved and respected as you meet your new little person.

Take care

how are you forshelby? Whats happening now?

It's funny how it's said that you are pregnant 9 months, but it's really more like 10.