14 Month old won't go back to sleep without a cuddle

My 14 month old baby girl is waking around two times a night at the moment. Firstly she slowly starts making a few noises and gradually gets upset and starts crying. When I go in she has to be picked up. If I give her her dummy she throws it away, if I try to lie her back down and pat her back to sleep she becomes histerical to the point she holds her breath. A few weeks ago I walked out of the room and I didn't hear anything from her after a long cry and went back in - worried - and found her in the corner of her cot not breathing - scaring the absolute bejebus out of me. I picked her up and she was blue but started breathing again. Obviously I am scared this will happen again so I am having trouble letting her just cry it out. Any advice or similar things happen to anyone else? How did you get around it?.
I am now 12 weeks pregnant and worried that in 6 months time if she is still doing this, that I will be having a very difficult time with 2 children during the night. HELP!

To be honest, I certainly can understand you dealing with it the way you are. If all it takes is a cuddle to prevent her doing herself some damage, then I'd cuddle too!

Have you tried putting something that smells like you next to her? Stay in the room to see if it works so you can make sure she won't start holding her breath on you again, but I always found that this was the best way to get my babies to self settle. I used to sleep and feed on bunny rugs before I used them to swaddle, that way it had mine and my milks scent on it. You could sleep next to one and then lay it under of over her the next night.

Also, a lot can change in 6 months, this could be a brief phase. I hope so anyway because it does sound rather scary.

My DS did started this at that age too. It is frustrating and tiresome. The truth is that he still does it to some extent. This may not be the best way to deal wih it, and it certainly hasn't stopped it, but I have found it easiest to just go and comfort him - or send DH in to do it whenever it's possible. We have tried everything else, but none of it works and then none of us get any sleep. At least with going into comfort him I am then able to get back to sleep myself. Hope you have better luck then me. You could always try sleep school.

I forgot to add the advice I got from my doc about the breathholding was not to worry about it (easier said then done I know). Basically they may hold their breath until they pass out, but if the do pass out their bodies will automatically begin breathing normally again. Apparently there isn't any risk with this. Personally it still scares the crap out of me when he does this and I like to hang around just to make sure he is alright. But I thought you should at least know that they won't harm themselves doing this.

don't have any advice sorry, but just wanted to reassure you, i'm sure she won't be doing it in six months time... six whole months for a 14 month old is half a life time, literally, so i think it would be unusual for a phase to last so long.... usually their weird and scary habits resolve themselves in a few weeks and then they move on to something new.... i know this doesn't help you in the meantime, but hopefully it is reassuring to think she will grow out of it.

I was also going to say that I would be surprised if this is still happening in 6 months. By then it is likely to be something else entirely! In the meantime, I would cuddle her. It could be her way of wanting some reassurance that you are there for her even though a baby is on the way. Change of any sort can be very unsettling at that age - they can understand that something is changing but not what it means for them.

Often people worry about forming bad habits, but usually it works in reverse - if you meet their needs then they become more secure and are less likely to be clingy. Often when behaviour changes such as wanting extra cuddles or waking more often, you can link it to something that is happening in their lives. Understanding that and responding to their needs is usually the best way to start getting more sleep sooner.

I agree, if she is only waking once or twice a night and a cuddle is getting her back to sleep, then I'd be cuddling. She is obviously just looking for some reassurance rather than waking and not being able to go back to sleep iykwim?

The breath holding sounds scary! Thankfully neither of mine have ever done that!

i agree also that you should keep cuddling.

my ds does this every now and then. It seems to be a couple of nights per month that he will wake up screaming and I go in and cuddle him or take him into our bed to sleep and he is fine. I'm sure your dd just wants that reasurance that you are there for her, perhaps she is having a bad dream and wants mummy to comfort her. Our ds hasn't formed any type of habit from me going in to comfort him or him sleeping in our bed, so i'm guessing it wouldn't be an issue with your dd.

Your doing a great job, i know it does get very tiring, but you are doing well, and if you keep doing what you are doing (cuddling dd) then i think it will resolve itself.