Hello..needing someone to talk to x

Hi all..so sorry for all your losses, it truly is the most devastating thing I have ever been through.

On 3rd April 2008 I lost my little baby. I did not know how for along I was exactly but I was definately more than 10/11 weeks along. I have never spoken to anyone about it, and knowing that I should now be holding my little baby in my arms is really breaking my heart.

I've been trying so hard to cope with this over the past year but since my little angels first anniversary it has become so much more difficult for me to deal with. My heart aches so much everytime I think back to the day that it all happened. I was getting ready to go out for a meal with my friend to celebrate but I had really bad tummy and back cramping, so went to the toilet..and noticed I was losing so much blood and passing large clots.

I'm sure alot of you can understanding where I am coming from (sorry if this is tmi) but all I can remember is sitting there crying, looking at what was happening and thinking why me, why my baby. I passed what looked like a little leg and foot, with perfectly formed little toes (this just makes me cry so much).

I just let everything happen on its own terms and didn't seek any medical attention. I'm now considering maybe talking to my gp about this as I feel like I need someone to chat to. I've also found out I have a blood clotting condition, and as a student nurse I have put two and two together- thinking that this may have caused me to miscarry.

Love Amber..x

I'm so very sorry for your loss and welcome to BB. You will find lots of support here, unfortunately there are many of us who have angel babies. I hope it helps you to talk about your loss, sending you big :hug:.

Regards,
Dianne

Thanks sweetheart. I really hope it does and I'm sure it will. Just finding it really hard at the moment with my friends having babies- its always the way isn't it. I'm happy for them though. Love Amber x

Hi Amber

I am so sorry for your loss, I cant imagine having to do it all on your own :hug:

Have you considered talking to a grief counsellor, just to help you get it all out and come to terms with the loss? Or even a pregancy loss support group in your area which may have ladies in the same situation as you to chat with over a coffee?

It is heartbreaking enough to deal with but to do it on your own must be horrible. Please be kind to yourself, BB is a wonderful place to be amongst ladies who are genuine and friendly.

Take care

Amber, I am so very sorry for your loss. The devastation is unimaginable. I pray that your days get easier one by one, and that your heart is healed someday.
Be kind and gentle to yourself and please seek support from others, I believe that is so important in our healing.
Take care hun.
Beata xxx

Amber,

I can share your pain. Nobody should ever go through a m/c. It is so unfair.

Anniversaries are hard. I would have had my little Zara mid January, and that second week of January was the most hardest time i have ever experienced.

On Friday, the 5th of June was the day i had my D&C after finding out that little Zara didn't grow after 6-7 weeks gestation. The 5th of June is also the day my DH and i met, so it is a day of celebration and mourning.

I wish you all the strength to help you through these hard days.

Thinking of you... xxoo

I hope that it has helped you to talk about your loss here but yes i think that it would be good if you went and had a chat with a GP... Answer what unsaid questions you can and this may help you move forward....you never move 'on' or get 'over' an angel baby....but it does get easier! hugs!