Night feeding...feeling a bit frustrated

Ok, I think I just need some reassurance about night feeding/waking.

DD is five months now and is waking at least 2 x a night for feeds. Most days I am totally ok with it (she's only tiny, right?) but some nights, like last night, I feel kind of resentful.

She sleeps well during the day, and self settles at night, so I am assuming she actually wants the feeding, rather than just the comfort. That being said, last night I decided to just cuddle her instead of feeding, and she seemed fine with it (didn;t even cry) and almost went to sleep, but then woke 5 mins later...so I just fed her back to sleep.

Its not a serious issue, its just I am so, so, so tired at the moment and keep falling asleep with her in our bed - meaning I then wake an hour later and try and transfer her back to her bed after she's been all snuggled with me only to have her wake up again. :doh:

I know bed-sharing seems like a good answer here, but i tried it for 6 weeks, and its not for me (we use an arms-reach co-sleeper now instead).

So...is it something she will grow out of? I am not sure I can go on like this for months and months...

Thanks if you got this far.

Well, she will grow out of it, that's the good news. Unfortunately, no one can say when! I know you say you've tried co sleeping before, and you weren't keen, but do you think you could try it again? I was in a similar situation to you, I had tried co sleeping when DS was little, didn't like it, and thought I wouldn't do it again. But once he was past six months, and I was still waking through the night to feed him, I was sooooooo tired, and like you was falling asleep in bed. For some months I would put him back in his cot when I woke, whenever that was, but after awhile I stopped doing even that and just left him in our bed. Once you get used to it, I can't tell you how much more rested you feel for not getting up out of bed during the night! We happily (mostly) co slept until about 6 weeks ago when DS got his bed. Since then he occasionally comes into our bed in the morning, or if he wakes during the night I go into him. In hindsight I would say that I'm really happy with how things have turned out with our sleeping arrangements.

Sooooo, maybe you could give it a go again? And if you don't like it this time, then try again in a couple of months? It is much easier once they're older and bigger. And co sleeping with a one year old is lovely!

my ds1 did grow out of the waking in the night for a breastfeed, but it took 14 months. are you getting any rest during the day?

Hi Anna,

I don't have a solution to the matter, but just wanted to let you know that I'm in the same boat and I feel for you!! My daughter is 6 & 1/2 months old and is still waking for a bottle in the middle of the night. We're in the process of trying to cut out the 3am bottle as DD is considered 'overweight' according to the growth charts and the nurse has suggested cutting down a feed, but that's much easier said than done!! Some nights she'll re-settle without a feed, but most times, she'll sleep for about 1/2hr then wake up again and cry, so it's just easier (for me!!) to feed her the first time. Which is pretty counter-productive, lol!

So yeah, I hear ya!! I'm so, so tired all the time, but luckily God made us mums extra strong and extra resiliant just so (somehow) we get thru these times :-)

Good luck Anna, hope you find a solution that suits you and your bubba really soon - my thoughts are with you!!

Hi Anna, i can tell you it definatley does get better! i find ds goes through stages, sometimes sleeps through and sometimes waking for a feed, usually i find its related to teething or a growth spurt. i just always feed him if he wants it because its easier for me then he goes straight back to sleep. ds is a small bub too and i think they need it somethimes. at the moment he's not waking, which is great! i just wish i could store the sleep somehow!
just take each day as it comes and rest as much as you can.
all the best.

Yes Anna, it does get better. You are right, she is still very little, so you need to look after yourself by grabbing sleep whenever you can. Perhaps you need to enlist the help of a family member or friend to mind her for a while during the day so you can grab a good couple of hours' rest?
At this stage I don't think I'd try anything different to just feeding back to sleep - I think that'd be the quickest way of you both going back into a decent sleep. But that's just my 2c.
We night-weaned with some success once Natalie was older (around 8-9 months). Though that's not for everyone, you know that if things are still rough in a few months time there are other options to explore.

Hi Anna, I would say that waking twice a night for a feed is still 'normal' for her age. I had my DD waking up till around 15 months still for a night time bottle. It can be so hard & frustrating when you are tired, & yes the resentment does come out. You need to try & get a day nap in for yourself.

Hi anna,

You poor thing. I remember being so tired and resentful of my ds, and then being at cranky at myself for feeling that way. It seemed like everyone else's babies were sleeping except mine.

I second Janie's thought about trying co-sleeping again, I didn't like it until ds was about 6 months old either but it made life so much easier. Regardless of that, I promise it does get easier as they get older- they wake a little less, for a slightly shorter feed. And you adapt more to it too.

It will end eventually. I can't say when because my ds has never slept through- at almost 18 months he still wakes once or twice at night, but it's only very briefly and he doesn't have a feed anymore. It gets easier with time, I promise. And it won't go on forever.

In the meantime, try and rest when you can (I know it's not easy to find time) and go to bed early. It all feels really difficult at the moment but in a few months you will look back and it will have seemed to pass so quickly.

Thanks so much for the replies everyone!

I think I will just have to go with the flow for the moment and maybe reassess in another couple of months if she's still waking.

I used to sleep in the day, but I spend so much time pounding the pavement to get out of the house these days. I can't stand these four walls for very long!

Thanks again...I need to learn how to let go of these feelings a little better!! Being a mum is hard!