Would you tell a friend if....

This morning I went to a morning tea with my Mothers Group and I noticed that one of the babies (about 8 months old) was looking quite jaundiced. I mentioned it to the Bear on the way home and he said he had noticed it too. Now I'm wondering if I should mention it to her mother. The baby seemed reasonably well other than that. The mother is a friend but only through MG, she's not someone I can just call for a chat and casually mention it. Not sure if I should contact her and say something or if I should wait until I see her next (Friday) and mention it if the little girl is still looking jaundiced. Is that too long? Is it better to be safe than sorry? Would you tell her or leave it?

oooh thats tricky isnt it...
I dont think Id feel comfortable saying something, but that doesnt mean you shouldnt. :dunno:

I would be worried if a baby was jaundiced at 8 mths of age. Unless they have liver probs, no baby should be jaundiced that old. I know my kids always seemed to have glowing skin from eating lots of pumpkin??? Even my paed commented on my 2nd daughter having orangy skin from pumpkin! I would mention something though. Just bring it up in convo.....not sure how though......good luck!

I probably would. Especially if its her first. There is so much information that new mums don't get told anymore, and they get discharged so fast they should be told about things they should be looking out for that can happen after they are discharged. The MCHN doesnt always come out long enough to see the onset of jaundice either.

My DH has an older child from a previous relationship who was born with bilateral retinoblastoma. She was 6mo when his sister in law (who had 2 kids of her own) noticed that there was something wrong with the babies eyes. They took her to the doctor and were in the offices of the top specilalist that afternoon. Both her eyes had to be removed - if they were not, the tumor would have spread straight to the brain via the optic nerve. But it took another mother who knew something was wrong to say it for them to know there was something wrong. That it wasnt normal and just passes.

I'd never be able to forgive myself if I saw something was wrong and kept my mouth shut for fear of offending someone, and it got worse.

Thanks girls .... you're all right :wall::wall::wall:
Sneaky - I don't feel comfortable mentioning it... but I feel I really should!
Shellbelle, that's what I thought too, a baby that age shouldn't be jaundiced. I thought it could be the carrot/ pumpkin thing, but wouldn't that be more of an orange than a yellow tinge? This was definitely yellow. The Bear claims that her eyes were a little yellow too, but I didn't see her eyes.
Inertia that is a heartbreaking story, and you have convinced me that I really have to say something. You're right, it could be something serious and I wouldn't forgive myself if I noticed something and didn't say anything.
So I guess the question now is how to say it? I am not going to see her until Friday so I would have to ring her specifically (because obviously a text or email isn't appropriate).... hmmmm.... :think:

:hug: Pixie, I would ber concerned, especially at that age and her eyes appear yellowing as well. Is there another mum in your group that is closer to her IYKWIM, that might be abel to talk to her?

We ened up back for BT's and then back at our Paed's office when DD was 3 months old as the Jaundice had worsened, but it was jsut below the level requiring further photo therapy, and they were concerned enough at 3 months, let alone 8 months....
I wouldn't forgive myself if I hadn't tried to mention it in some way...

Inertia :hug:

On a happier note a friend went orange as she was eating too many carrots... she was 25 at the time!!! Do you know if the bubs is into solids much... maybe it could have been too much pumkpin/carrot etc

Take care and I hope you find a way
xxoo

I would definitely say something. Just explain that you thought she looked a little jaundiced and you know it is probably nothing/she probably has everything under control but you just felt like you had to mention it as it didn't feel right not to.

You can say almost anything if you say it in the right way. Your heart is in the right place and I am sure it will come across like that.

I would definitely say something. Just explain that you thought she looked a little jaundiced and you know it is probably nothing/she probably has everything under control but you just felt like you had to mention it as it didn't feel right not to.

You can say almost anything if you say it in the right way. Your heart is in the right place and I am sure it will come across like that.

Pixie chick - I'm sure you will find the right way to word it to her. Cos you rock.

I'd probably text it but thats only cos I don't really like talking on the phone :lol:

It is incredibly unlikely for an otherwise healthy child to be jaundiced at 8 months. What is very very common is that babies of this age eat soft pumpkin, sweet potato and carrot - these can actually colour the babies skin a nice hue of yellow... This is I am sure what the issue with this baby is. I would definitely not suggest he was jaundiced - rather investigate it a little by gently asking what he eats etc... All of my babies turned yellow when they were introduced to solids...;)

One of our little friends at playgroup came in one day with very yellow skin, I mean REALLY yellow, she looked like an Oompa Loompa, LOL. Her mum took her to the doctors and they even ordered blood tests as the doctor was worried too. It turned out the yellow was from eating pumpkin.

But I would suggest bring it up as you never know!

I agree about bringing it up... there are several ways you can do this. I like Flowerchild's idea about asking about solids - maybe ask if they have tried pumpkin or carrot yet and how her baby got on with that. If she says that yes they have tried it and it is the flavour of the month - problem solved.

You could also enquire by telling this Mum that you know you normally only interact with each other at MG, but you noticed that her beautiful baby was a little yellow the other day and is everything ok or has the baby just been eating a lot of pumpkin? Make sure you tell her you're only enquiring because you want to be able to support her if there is something happening. This might also be a good way to form a friendship outside of MG if you're looking to do that.

Alternatively, if there is someone in the group who does socialise with this Mum outside of MG, you could contact them and ask them. But again, make sure you make it known you're enquiring to offer support. Some people may take such enquiries as an "eewwwww - your baby is sick - is it contagious because I don't want me or my child to catch it".

Good luck. And don't be afraid to ask. Mother's Group is all about supporting each other but sometimes we forget to ask for help for various reasons which is when the powerful eye of observation comes in...

Thanks for the tips guys, unfortunately I'm no closer to the other mums who are closer to her, so I would feel like I was talking behind her back. IMO that would be worse, so I should just bite the bullet and go directly to her. As I said I won't see her till Friday so I can't just casually drop it into conversation.
I just tried to call and got her message bank.... so I'm thinking of an email. What do you think:
Hi X
It was good to see you guys yesterday, hope you?re having a nice weekend.
I just wanted to ask you is (baby) OK? When I saw her yesterday I thought her skin was a little yellow, almost like jaundice. Its probably nothing, but I just thought I should mention it - I hope you don?t think it?s rude of me.
Have a good week and see you Friday!
Cheers
The other alternative is just to wait until Friday and mention it then if she still appears jaundiced. Is that too long do you think? Would it be irresponsible of me not to say anything until then?

Jovie was yellow/orange for a whole month once!!! I went on a cooking spree when she was 8-9 months and she had either carrot, pumpkin or sweet potato at least once a day :rolleyes:. One close friend of mine whose daughter has a severe liver condition was very concerned and mentioned it, her DH walked into the room and said "Is she looking a bit yellow?" I too their word for it as they would know and went to the GP. By the time we saw the doctor she'd lost all the colour (due to the fact that I stopped feeding her the orange food jic it was that!!!) and was okay.

But she did go very yellow/orange for a long time there from the food :lol:

I think that email is fine...maybe just add in a little joke/comment about "too much pumpkin" or something to lighten it up a little. :D

I just spoke to my mum who is a doctor and she said the only way to tell if it is really jaundice is to look at the whites of the eyes. I didn't see her eyes yesterday so I'm going to leave it for now. In the meantime I have sent an email round to all the mums in the group about local playgroups so maybe I will catch up with her during the week.