baby behaviour 101 - yet another newbie question

OK, this is probably a dumb question but: can you tell when you are not doing enough to stimulate a young baby?

DD is almost 6 weeks old. This morning I fed her at 6 and again at 8.45. After the 8.45 feed we spent several minutes having a little "chat" (about burping and other important baby things, you know how it is). Then she got jerky, so I took her and changed her nappy, talking to her as I did (the whole running account of my every move - you know how it is).

Then I took her back into the living room and I laid her down on her new playmat, which has a bunch of dangly toys and so on hanging from it. So far all she manages is to wave her arms about and sometimes to knock one of the danglies by mistake. That's fine. I reckon that she'll progress to really noticing them, and then to being able to play with them, in due course. After a minute on the playmat she started to get upset, so I figured I'd overdone it and I put her down in her bassinet to sleep.

Since then she's not slept. It's been about 45 minutes. She's not upset, not needing her dummy or anything. She's just awake, eyes open, muttering slightly to herself from time to time. She's been in a fairly boring part of the room, where she can't see too much. I've been moving around doing chores: endless washing, cleaning the kitchen, and so on.

It makes me wonder: why isn't she asleep? Given that she's not upset, presumably she isn't that tired after all. Does that mean that I should have played with her for longer, maybe doing things other than the playmat? Or have I done right to put her down at the second clear sign of tiredness?

Maybe she's listening to the music I have on. But there is mostly music on and she normally doesn't seem to notice it much.

What do you think?

I guess I'm worried that I might be leaving her "alone" in her bassinet too readily and letting her spend too much awake time "alone". (Not that I've been out of the room she's in for longer than a few seconds - she isn't really alone, but nobody is interacting with her). I don't know how to resolve that with the clear advice from everyone that I should put her down to sleep as soon as she starts acting tired and before she becomes overtired.

Oh the game of figuring the kid out is going to go on for years, I can tell...

I have often left my babies in their chair while they have been awake and not interacted with them the entire time they are awake as you just can't do that all the time - soon she will be having longer awake periods and it just isn't possible to spend all your time with them as nothing will get done around the house. I always had them somewhere so that they could hear you going about your day, or that there was some other noise, but it sounds like she is just happy doing what she's doing and some babies just are content to be awake and not be entertained kwim? I would think that by putting her on the floor she just got sick of it - some babies don't like to lay there out in the 'open' as such and some don't like that they can't see much when flat on their back on the floor, so when she was moved she was happy. It's OK to not interact with her 100% of the time as that can make them a bit overstimulated.

My 9 week old sounds very similar - so don't worry!

He prefers his bouncer to the mat with the toys hanging. He still accidentally hits them when his arms and legs are flapping around too, not really interacting with them yet either. If I play with him and move the toys a bit then he does have a look at them for a little while but soon just turns away. The floor and the toys overstimulate him quite quickly too.

I don't spend the whole time interacting with him, you just can't. A lot of the time my little man is staring at the curtains moving with the fan or the light coming through the windows, he is happy in his bouncer and just sits a chats to himself. I will go and have a chat to him when I think he is 'missing' me and just to let him know I am around.

My little one doesn't sleep much during the day - just cat naps. He prefers a long sleep at night, so don't worry about not sleeping during the day :)

aaah I remember that feeling! My DS was always quite happy entertaining himself, and early on we could put him in his bassinet awake... and he'd lie there cooing to himself. I felt awful like I was trapping him in this boring place... but then we went to an early parenting class and one thing they told us is that it's great to be able to a) put bub down awake (and learn to get to sleep on their own) and b) let them learn to be happy on their own. We've continued doing it and I've never regretted it! He's happy on his own, and I'm here if he needs me. I reckon you're doing a great job and I totally understand wanting to double check this - but you're doing a great thing... and remember, she's learning about the world... even the walls, roof & bassinet fabric are fascinating for her to look at!

Thanks everyone.

Belfie that's a really good point about them learning to be happy on their own. I hadn't thought of that, just worried that maybe she shouldn't be on her own at all (not that she is really on her own, when I'm in the same room or the confines of our small flat).

'jerky movements is a common sign of babies being tired. Once you notice this, she really should go to bed. She may have been abit over tired, which she will find it hard to go to sleep.

While she is happy in her bed, just leave her. Some quiet time will do her good, even if she doesnt sleep. She will let u know when she needs u. Take the time out and read the paper or something.

Tenar - my 6 week old lies on him playmat too and although I try to give him as much Mummy time and stimulation as possible, you also need you time and my DS seems happy enough to lie there and keep himself amused while awake (even though he's probably just staring at the roof or wall instead of the dangling toys etc)

If they seem happy enough I wouldn't worry too much - Hollye made a good point that they will let us know when they want us hehehehe. In the first few weeks I was trying to make the most of DS awake time by stimulating him by talking/playing etc, but as each week he stays awake longer I realise its just not practical. Also as a bonus I have realised he is now putting himself to sleep - Yaaaah

Sounds like you are doing a great job x

Naomi

It's ok to leave her by herself (well, YKWIM) not actively engaging her. I found Jazz was quite happy to sit and look at things, out the window, or watch what i was doing during the day, and that gradually progressed to her being ok to play by herself, and we now have times during the day when we play and read etc, and times when she is happy to explore and discover by herself while i sit and ... ok i'm not oing to lie :p While i sit on Bb and Facebook :lol: A good balance of active engagement and individual discovery is the best for babies (or so I hear, some might argue that). Anyway, thats what we did and Jazz is pretty good now, enjoys playing with us and without us, what more could you ask for lol.