eat, play, sleep OR play, eat, sleep?

Out little DD is now 3 weeks old and has the common problem of day and night mixed up! We are wanting to stimulate her a bit during the day in the hope that she starts to sleep a bit more during the night - only waking her for the feeds.

I am a little confused about when the 'play' time should be - before of after the feed? (play, eat, sleep, or eat, play, sleep)

We have been playing before the feed as she falls asleep beautifully after feeding during the day. However it seems that the 'norm' should be keeping her awake for a small amount of time after feeding.

I would love to hear peoples thoughts and experiences on this :)

we generally go with
Wake, play, eat, play, sleep.

I think what that is all about is that you arent FEEDING baby to sleep _ ie full asleep on bottle/boob.

but at 3 weeks they will be tired after about 40 minutes or so.

i was putting my DS down for a sleep every 2 hours up to about 2 weeks ago. this is what the paed reccomemded and since doing 2 hr put downs, his night sleeps improved!

If she feeds, and you have her awake to burp or change afterwards then put her down for a sleep (so 5-10min later) that is fine IMO :)

Hun, the feed-sleep-play "routine" really doesn't fit with most babies, and certainly not at that age. It's a lovely idea, but the reality is that they all have their own patterns and fitting in with them will always work out better than trying to get them to fit in with you.

At 3 weeks, most babies have no circadian rythm (ie day and night). But it does happen. The best thing you can do to get that happening sooner is feed her when she's hungry and put her to sleep when she's tired (and at that age sleep and eat is pretty much all she'll do).

It will all fall into place, but you need to give it time. For some babies it happens really early, others take a bit longer. I know how exhausting it is for you at the moment - we have all been there. It does get better, it really does. You just have to ride out these first intense weeks. Isn't it a shame no-one warns us about this!!

My baby is 5 weeks old and he wakes, feeds straight away, is awake for about half and hour then i put him to sleep. So he's awake for about 1.5 hours tops. At night its just feed then sleep. No awake time.
I think for an older baby the baby nurse told me with my last son it was feed, play then sleep. Just so your not feeding the baby to sleep.
Good luck

At 3 weeks, just feeding and having a nappy change is quite stimulating! I wouldn't try to push for proper play time too soon because although it might seem to make sense that tiring them out during the day will make them sleep better at night, it doesn't really work that way! I find the better they sleep during the day, the better they sleep at night and a baby that young needs quite a lot of sleep to grow. Following their lead is important because once they become overtired it is a real nightmare trying to get them to sleep! It is really hard at first but it does get easier. Hang in there!!

I'm not sure why feeding to sleep would be a problem. Babies are designed to feed to sleep, that's why there are sleepy hormones released for both mum and bub with breastmilk. Both my boys fell into a feed-sleep-feed-play pattern and I think this is pretty common. And in case you are wondering, they both sleep very well without a feed first now that they are older. In fact DS2 usually asks to go to bed for both his day and night sleeps - I have a number of jealous friends ;)

Mel - i think the feeding to sleep issue is habit - ie wont sleep without the boob or bottle in the mouth - not so much the milk itself.

I just thought i would add in my wake - play - eat - play - sleep this is usually what the play is:

wake
tummy time (before a feed!!!!)
Feed
Sitting up in boucer / nappy change
SLeep

i had a reflux and colic baby who slept on his tummy so straight from feed to sleep = vomit so we tried to have min 20 min upright time after milk.

:)

Personally I think the habit thing is a myth. If I wasn't there to bf the boys fell asleep just fine, and still do now. Physiologically, babies are designed to bf to sleep. When they get older that is not the case - although a big meal puts most people of any age to sleep LOL!

The only real reason I can think of is for bottle fed babies and the risk of dental decay from falling asleep with a bottle.

i could do with a pepperoni pizza in bed right now :( pmsl
yeah maybe it is bottle fed bubs?

DD has milk before bed still at 2 but from a cup ...

elliskirsty......I was worried about the whole routine thing and my DS not knowing day from night in the first few weeks too. And honestly after doing nothing in particular he will now sleep thru about 4 out of 7 nights at 2 months old! I tried the idea of keeping him awake more during the day, and the days I tried it were the ones he had the worst night sleeps! I was very skeptical letting him sleep so much during the day.....but baby knows his needs best I guess and we are falling into a routine without really trying!
Thru the day we will have wake, play, feed, play, sleep and repeat lol.....and then when I think he has had his last evening feed I will change him into pj's and night nappy (before his bottle), wrap him and put him in his cot in his room rather than the bassinet in the loungeroom. Im not sure if that triggers a cue in him that its big sleep time....but it seems to work for us anyway :)
The day routine was nothing I tried to work on....I just took the advice of the ladies here (rather than my nurse) and let DS be my guide to what he needs!
Good luck with your little one :)

I found that with my babies doing a feed from one breast, changing nappy and 'play' (me talking and cuddling, carrying them around the house or lying with them on my chest) and then another feed (from the other breast) worked really well. Babies sleep so much better with full tummies. I found that the 'play' time in the middle was great for getting up any extra wind before putting them on the other side. This worked for my babies from birth. 'Play' time only lasted about 20 mins before they were ready for the other breast and went back to sleep.

Feeding them to sleep is very easy when they are this little and it doesn't hurt them at all.

The best advice I have received and I am sure it is from the wise women of BB was and is

"Do whatever works for you and your baby."

Sometimes we feed last, othertimes we play last. You are doing a great job and it wont be long until your little one works out day and night. :)

Ours is all over the place cause she feeds 2.5-3hrly (roughly) but awake and sleep time works out to less than that. so cycle can end up play feed play sleep, or play feed sleep, or anything.

Thank you all for the replies. It's great to know that there is no right or wrong answer, and also the reasons for play after feeding. her 'play' time is very simple - singing to her, playing with her hands for a minute or two - she just picks the time she wants to do it :)