My DS is hitting!

My DS is going through terrible two's. He screams when I ask him to do anything, and to top it off, he has now started hitting me. Not anyone else, just me.
Naughty corner doesn't work. He just laughs.
taking his precious toy doesn't work for more than a few mins. And if I am feeding the bub, he will drag a chair over and get it down. (have changed where I put it now)
Smacking him back, really doesnt seem like the answer, asit would be reinforcing the behaviour. I have thought about smacking him in the same spot that he smacks me, so that he understands that it hurts to get smacked, although I am not sure about wanting to do this.

When we were at the shops there was an indoor playground. He went right to the top and wouldn't come down. Just stayed in there and laughed. Eventually I had to climb up and drag him down. He was smacking me the whole time. I then had to drag him out of the shops. I am sure that people thought I was a terrible mother. What do I do???

Meg- :hug: I am trying to think up some advice for you.
With Ash when she is playing up I send her off to sit by herself somewhere and tell her not to come back til she is being nice/ behaving, what ever the prob is, if she still playing up I just keep sending her back til she does the right thing.
Could you pretend to put his toy in the bin? We've done that before.
As for being out and about thats a hard one, I've had to drag Ash away twice kicking and screaming while carrying Emily in the HAB.

:hug: It's not an easy one Meg. My 2 1/2 yo is doing something similar. I put it down to being a younger brother but it's probably more temperament.

I wish I could give you some magic answers, but if I had them I wouldn't be still going through it! I tell him it's not acceptable, and if we're at home I'll put him in a safe place until he calms down. Out and about is harder. He uses a sheet or pillow case as a comforter so I try to always have one with me. Mostly (not always), that will calm him down really quickly. But if I don't have it - uh oh! Sometimes having a stranger talk to him calmly will work, other times I have to just keep him safe until he eventually calms down.

Then when he's calm I talk to him to reinforce that it's not ok to hit, that it's ok to be angry but when we are angry we mustn't hurt others etc.

The good news is they do outgrow it. I can't wait!

Oh Dear - we have been through this with Paige when she was cutting out her day nap but was still overtired. James and Paige are the same age - so it's definately all just developmental.

I think consistency is the key, get down on his level and explain that what he is doing is unacceptable (sounds so supernanny).

Paige's room has a babygate across it, and we use it only for those desparate times when real time out is needed. We call it ' quiet time' and we put her in her room and shut the gate. Because we call it 'quiet time' she can read her books etc, somedays she crawls up in to bed and will lay quietly before coming to the gate to say 'Sorry'.

We also give Paigey choices throughout the day so she feels she has some say and control in her life.

It must be so hard with two Megs and I am not looking forward to the meltdowns with a newborn in tow.

I must admit - Paige has settled down a lot now, I think because she has adjusted more to no longer napping.

GOOD LUCK!!

Thanks for the advice. I know it is an age thing, but I really hate seeing him act like has is, as he is a nice little boy. I am trying to put myself in his shoes and unsderstand why he is upset and what it triggering it. Def overtired is one thing. Also he is currently cutting two of his 2yo molars, so that might be adding to it.

Oh - BTW, Chrissy, I might see you next weekend as I may come along with my sis for her photoshoot.

Oh that would be exciting!! Can't wait to meet Emilia and James!

Meg, overtiredness is definitely a key trigger. But I think the inability to communicate how they are feeling is a big factor also. And temperament too. DS1 is very different to DS2 and was able to express his feelings well early on, and has never been a tanty thrower. I'm thinking that DS2 with his massive tanties is a payback ;)

Ok, so I'm stuggeling with dd with the same thing at the moment and I'm trying my hardest ... BUT here is what worked for me in the bank yesterday. (just ironic ... for any of you that remember my m/s sagas in the bank .. this was the same bank :redface: That building don't like me)

I ignored her tanty, stood next to her and looked in the distance and when she stopped (I think it was about 5 minutes of evil-eyes from all around me) I bend down, got her up so that she could look in my eyes, told her that she can't always get what she wants and that I don't like it that she throws tanties. Then I asked her if she has finished crying. She said yes. I said "say sorry mommy" she complied, I gave her lots of kisses and cuddles and left the bank with her skipping on my hand.

So for instance that time he was standing on the indoor playgym. Tell him to come down please and then just stand and wait for him. I think he is laughing, because he knows that you'll come and get him eventually. I know it's not always practical (I was late for an appointment yesterday as result of dd's little episode), but I'm all fire from this working yesterday. Or you can just leave and stand outside the door. Say bye and go ... walk away. That always works when dd has the run-around in a store. She comes running quick enough.

BTW ... i'm grabbing at straws too. I so know that next time she thows tanty in the shops this is NOT going to work *sigh*

Thanks again for all the advice. Today he has been the model child. we went to the Justine Clark concert, and he was so good. he went to bed fairly well too, without ironman, as he threw him when I told him not to earlier. he as a bit upset that I was standing my ground and not giving him back, but he understands, as he said to me that he can't have him because he was naughty.

Instead of naughty corner, I am going to put him on the other side of the baby gate, until he behaves. Meaning that he can still see me, but has no where to go except the hallway, as I will close all the other doors, and he can't reach the handles. An empty hallway might start making him realise that being naughty is not fun.
I do think some of it is attention seeking. I am spending time with the baby, so he doesn't have my undivided attention

That sounds like good idea Meg, do you notice other times when you do things just the 2 of you he is better behaved? Thats what I find with Ash its so hard tho to have time just the 2 of us.

Most of the time - yes he is better, but there have been the odd occasions of still doing something that he shouldn't.
Today we went to 3 yo kidner open day, and he started throwing some things. I told him if he threw again we would have to go home. He smiled, and threw it again, so we left. he was saying sorry all the way to the car, but he understood, that I meant it.