Dinnertime dramas

So dinnertime at our house is not going well at all. Last night DD would only eat her dinner on DH's lap. The night before my lap was fine. Over the weekend we were at my parents and she was so happy in her highchair there and ate far more than she ever does at home.

We've given up on the tray which worked for a short while with the chair just pulled up to the table (tablecloth got a bit dirty, but I can deal with that), but now she won't even get in the chair at dinnertime (other meals not a problem). We've tried just belting her in, but she managed to scream the whole way through the meal which wasn't pleasant at all - however if I knew I only had to do it a couple of nights then I would be able to cope better!

Any ideas on how to get her to sit in her chair and eat? I'm not concerned about the amount she is eating, I suppose it is more the habit of everyone sitting down at the table and eating dinner together.

Thanks

I will be interested in everyones response too cause DS has started this in the past week!!

my little one did this a few weeks ago.
so if she wouldnt sit in her chair she didnt eat, was simple.
we all sat in our chair ate our dinner, she screamed and carried on and tried to climb onto our laps.

we told her you sit in your chair and eat your dinner if your hungry.

she went without dinner for 1 night then the next night she started and we held our place and said no food unless your in your seat. once we finished she decided she was really hungry so she sat in her chair for a little bit and had a few mouthfulls.
next night less tantrum but she sat in her chair and ate most of her dinner
then break through on the 4th night, i just said dinner time you going to sit in your chair, a nod and she walked over to her chair and waited to get put in.

so one night with no food
one night with minimal food
one night bit more
then she sate her dinner and didnt complain.

she still had her milk before bed, but didnt get dinner or desert if she wasnt in her chair


its hard adn its heartbreaking saying no to her especially with food, but she got the hint.

good luck

Thanks kawazuki, I was thinking that's what we would need to do. Glad to know she got the idea fairly quickly.

kawazuki - I did that last night with DS told him if he didn't eat what he was served then he didnt get anything else. He still had his bottle before bed tho. It is heartbreaking but like my mum says....Tough love goes a long way!! Lol. I do tough love to a degree but sometimes there are just lines I can not cross! Lol.

it was heart wrenching not giving her dinner

but with persistance and continuity she learnt.

we havent had majour delimas with dinner now, she will sit in her seat 99% of teh time and eats 90% of the time, sometimes she is just to tired to play the game tho.

but we be strict no chair no dinner is our rules

just like my 9yo wanted to play the i feel sick card to get out of dinner, so i gave him shower and sent him straight to bed, he didnt like that as he felt better once he didnt have to eat dinner. but ohwell you played your card now im following through lol..

The main thing you have to remember is to follow through.....never do empty threats as such, they will learn real early to take advantage of them if mum or dad don't follow through!

My third daughter went through a phase where the only way she would eat was with finger food whilst circling the coffee table ;) It didn't last.

I'm not a great believer in creating power struggles over food, or withholding food as a punishment for bad behaviour. I probably have too many bad memories of my own childhood and this is a hill we've chosen not to die on, pretty much. We do expect table manners from older children, and generally get them, but with wee ones, well, it's just not worth it, imo. If family meal times are where the rest of the family are happily seated and are enjoying food and conversation, then I've found with all five of my kids that they've generally responded in time by wanting to be a part of that.

as long as you are consistant with your method it works.

we tried the ignoring it and letting it be its just a phase, but we found when we were out at dinner or visiting it was not acceptable and she needed to be taught.

we have been there, still go there sometimes. Our rule is you wanna eat- you eat in a chair at the dinner table, doesnt have to be their highchair but eating from a adult chair soon gets uncomfortable. We give cuddles on our knees but not food- we just found that was a bad road to go down long term. Its ok if you dont wanna sit at the big table- but you wont get dinner unless you do. Often DS#1 will tantrum, time out, then play abit and then come to eat. The other rule we have with dinner is- if you dont eat dinner- you cant go out and play afterwards.
We have had acouple of nights of no dinner or very little, but with 2 kids- we cant get into the power struggle over eating and dont have the energy LOL
Hang in there, be consistant, explain what ever rule you choose and stick to it. You can win! LOL

We're having the same problem. I'm actually considering buying a junior chair from ikea, and making a big deal out of how it's Missy E's chair and trying to get her to sit up at the table like that.

Seems like mummy's lap is the best tho ;).

Well since I posted we've had two more dinners - both of which she quite happily sat in her chair to eat it!! But will definitely keep those suggestions in mind for the next time she decides to test those boundaries!!

Thanks