when is it attention seeking, and when is it more than that

DS1 is driving us crazy. Some of the behaviour has happened before DS2 was born, other is recent.

Hes insisting his nose is runny, when its not, and he sniffs and wopes it til it gets red and sore.
He wont wear socks becuase they "have bark in them" and hurt his feet. Every pair apparently makes his skin feel funny.
He takes upwards of an hour to dress every morning becuase of this, also he insists his bum is dirty when its not, and sticks his hand done the back of his pants all the time.
He wants the toilet paper folded in a certain way and will sometimes refuse to go or wipe his bum is someone isnt on hand to fold the paper, then if its not folded right he throws a tantrum.

All oft hese things result in full on hysterical tanrtums and uncontrollable crying.

I dont know if its an age/new baby thing or if I should be taking him to the doctor.

not sure ray ray but i have a friend who has a son who displays similar behaviours. his older brother has been diagnosed with aspergers syndrome and she was thinking that her other son might have it also. i'm in no way saying your little one has aspergers syndrome though, just thought i would share. does your DS go to day care or anything like that where you can get another perspective from someone else? i probably wouldnt take him to a GP or anything as of yet, it miht be a stage that he will grow through. also could just be the new addition to the family mixing him up a bit! i know my DD1 had and is still having issues with DD2's arrival.

hugs ray
sounds like DS1 might be having issues with sensory sensitivies. Could hurt to get him checked out just to reassure you and perhaps give you some strategies. Perhaps a pead might be a good person to go and see, they can then refer you further if needed.
just what you need with a new baby!

some ideas in the meantime
- ditch the socks- or buy him some new socks with his fav character on his to encourage him. If he doesnt wear socks- is it the end of the world ? Just to keep peace

-perhaps give him some babywipes to wipe his bottom with- that way it may feel cleaner to him. Also no tantrums about how it is folded at they come out folded allready. Also some new undies- the old ones might be annoying him and be a bit hard to him

have you changed laundry detergent lately?
are you drying clothes in the dryer, or on a clothes rack- they are stiffer on the rack
maybe try a softner in the washing machine so that they are softer for him.

the main thing is to feel like you are addressing these issues for him and coming up with solutions to these 'problems' for him, rather than just letting them go and going head to head with him. They are issues to him, even though they seem trivial , they are bothering him.
hugs hun and let me know how you go!

A few q's frist, were the issues a big problem before baby came? Does he do it every time? Does he go to preschool, does he do it there or at other places? Does he seem to do it if he's more stressed/anxious/upset/having a bad day? Have you asked him to help come up with a solution to the problems, such as the'bark' in his socks, what does he want you to do about it?
I think it might be a good idea to mention it to a dr/mchn. At least for your peace of mind and if there is a problem, then you can get it addressed. If not then, maybe they could give you some strategies of how to help him through it?
The issues might be getting exaserbated by the fact that baby has come into the picture. It may be a way for him to deal with it. But in saying that it doesn't take away from the fact that you are having to deal with it and there could possibly be more to it. Maybe try to write down things that he does each day (I know tough, with new baby and toddler) that you feel aren't acceptable/'normal' (whats 'normal'??!!), and see if it's as bad as you feel it is or is it just that he's being more demanding with your time and attention than he used to be? Then if you think it's not 'normal' take him to see a dr? HTH.

Ray, some of the stuff sounds like he is feeling a bit out of control and these are his attempts to be "in control" of the situation. The tantrums could also be because he is having trouble dealing with his emotions and this need since the new baby has come along. I know a friend is having similar issues with her son and they have a newborn as well.

Some of it also sounds like sensory sensitvities like Det said so maybe getting a professional opinion wouldn't hurt, especially if these things are becoming a problem.

Sounds a bit like tactile hypersensitivities to me!

My best friend is tactile hypersensitive and she cant walk in sand, or eat "finger food". It feels horrible on her skin and she cant take it. Loves oranges but has to eat them with tissues or baby wipes over her hands because she can't handle her hands being sticky. She has had it since she was a child but these problems were not readily recognised back then so has never been reintegrated.

Might be worth looking into - even if just to rule it out.

Rayray - our DD1 sounds very similiar. We have issues with non existent runny noses and keeping her dressed. There is a fine line between normality and catastrophe here. She is very particular about how certain things are and gets completely distraught if we don't get things spot on straight away. This has heightened with the arrival of the new bub but we seem to be sorting things out. It is clearly attention seeking some times and others it is something that is seriously upsetting her. Trying to get her to communicate what she wants - trying to cope when she can't have/do everything she wants (like sit on the oven...:rolleyes:). We have found the key is trying to keep calm and patient (waaayyy easier said than done - I have wanted to tanti too OFTEN) as much as possible and she is seeming to come out of it. Toddlers are fickle and self centred and I try to remind myself that she is looking for us to teach her how to behave and communicate etc.

A TMI warning - she has been really irritable and it turns out she had worms (yep another glamorous mum job), not sure if it is coincidence but since treating them we have had amuch happier chook (she goes to care and is a thumb sucker - apparently a good combo).

Good luck - they are amazingly stubborn and determined individuals!

all of the sensory stuff has been since the baby was born, the dangerous stuff was before hand.
I know 2 kids with aspergers, and its very different to that, closer to ODD but I dont think its that either as a frieds son has that and it too is different.
I think I will bring it up at his MCHN check in Ju;y or go to a GP if its worse before then