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We are thinking about having DS at the birth of bub2 (with a support person for him). He will be 18 months old. He has never left anywhere and I don't think he would cope away from us. Is 18mths too young to be present at a birth? Is there anything I need to consider when thinking about this? Any advice?
Thank you for any replies :D.
my only thing would be for me personally as i get very noisy when the contractionss get worse that if your like that and have a long labour it might actually scare them as they dont know why ur yelling or in pain etc
I don't think it is too young, but it would be reasonable to expect that he wont understand what is going on when the time comes because of his age, especially if he is a sensitive child who may get upset at seeing you in what they think is pain kwim? I think it would be beneficial to do some role playing, simulating the noises you could make during labour and even go so far as to have his support person there to help explain what is going on to him, just as they would if it were the real thing. And also show that at the end of all the 'noise' that there is a baby born, using a doll, so he can understand that the noises help you get the baby out. So when the labour starts, he knows that it is normal and that mum is OK. Have a read of this article too https://www.bellybelly.com.au/birth/siblings-at-birth
Having seen the reaction of older children in emergency situations, where there is panic, etc (I know this won't be an emergency) I don't think a younger child would understand the pain and noise and be more scared than anything for what is happening to his mum etc.
Interesting post mum2 :) I think it would really depend on the child.
My DD wasn't at the bith of our second (she was 19 months at the time). We didn't take her along as we were able to leave her with my dad (but we did seriously consider her being there as she never get's babysat by anyone either).
I had to go and have my waters broken to start my labour, but other then that I had a nice labour and afterwards we thought that our DD could have quite easily have been there (I'm not that vocal in labour, tend to go more quiet actually so I don't think she would have been scared as such). But the main thing we were thinking about was that she would have needed to be watched and entertained if she got bored during the labour, which would have meant DH would have been fussing over her instead of watching the brith!
All the best with your choice! I don't think there is a right or wrong thing to do.
I really do think it depends on the child. Such as I may have Harry at this birth, but I know that he will assume the role of a support person himself. Whenever mum is upset or in pain, he lies next to me and strokes my hair and face, maintains eye contact and becomes an amazingly stable rock. He's been like that since he was 2yo. So I don't think its too young, just really depends on their learned behaviours and exposition to such things as pain and panic.
Think back to how bub has handled situations in which you were upset or hurt. It might help give you an idea of how they will cope.
Thank you for all the replies. I have decided not to commit either way yet, I will try to prepare him incase we decide he will be right to come but I think I will see how he is closer to time and if we think he will cope with it at the time. I will however tell the midwife and write in the birth plan that I wish for him and his carer to be able to come and go throughout the labour and birth as they please. Anyone know how is should word that for the birth plan? I want them to listen to my request, if they stopped him from coming in when he wanted I would be really ticked off. I had problems with them listening when I had DS. Thanks.
I would imagine that some hosp may have a policy against it.
i am stuck the boat all my regular sitters are away this weekend for various reasons. While i do have people who would watch dd, i don't want her waking to someone she is not that use to if we go during the night. At the same time i wouldn't want her in th elabour room. not that i am vocal or anything but if iam in the rrom she's a real mummy's girl and will sometimes refuse dh change her etc. so if she was in the room i would have to help look after her/enterttain her so it wouldn't work, she wouldn't happiliy go in and out the room she would just want me.
Maybebabie - In our maternity ward polity booklet it says, "children are welcome in the labour ward, but it is neccessary to organise someone to care for them." I was just worried we might come across a midwife who doesn't agree with the polity. My son is being the same as your daughter at the moment, only mum is good enough. I'm hoping it will settle down before then, otherwise I don't see anyway of him being there. I can't help look after him and give birth either.