how do I get past this

Hi, after two years of fertility treatment, on my last attempt I was ecstatic to have a posative pregnancy test. I had an 8 week early scan a few days ago and there was no heartbeat, and I have been told it stopped growing a week ago. I have no children and miscarried 7 years ago. I am 38 and have been diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. I can't stop crying and feel like all hope is gone. I am in this horrible limbo waiting to miscarry which I am dreading, but can't face a D & C as it's still my baby, and I don't want some doctor scraping it out of me. Any words of support/advice would be hugely appreciated. At the moment I don't see how I'm ever going to be able to move past this.

I just wanted to drop off a :hug:

I have had 2 losses and 2 d&C's. For me having a d&c was easier but I can understand it isn't for others

Sorry I don't have any advice I just wanted to drop off a :hug:

Hi Nicola,

Honey I'm so sorry for your loss and what you're going through. It must be so awful just waiting for a natural m/c to take place. I really don't know what more I can say except that it sucks and life in general really sucks sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't seem like there is any fairness in it at all.
I had a late m/c last year and it was so awful, I was in a really dark place for some time. But I've had a lot of support from my partner and close friends and my psychologist whom I've been seeing for months now. I believe that you need a lot of support and love and also to be free to talk about your loss as that is accepting it and then moving on, very gradulally and very slowly.

I wish this wasn't happening to you hun, and I'm sorry that it is, but this place has helped me heaps in my time of grieving and venting and then eventually getting back to as normal as I can in my life. The truth is my life will never be that same but I have accepted this and am moving on. I wish the same for you hun.

Take care and you are in my thoughts and prayers :hug:.

Beata xxx

Hi Hun, I am so sorry that you are going through this right now & you may be feeling that you can't go through it but you are much braver than you think. Let yourself grieve how you need to and lean on those around you for support. Please don't give up hope of having a baby one day, modern medicine is amazing and there are so many women who thought it would never happen for them and it has. Take care of yourself :hug:

thank-you for such a lovely and hopeful reply. I had a second scan (which I had requested) today and now have a picture of my little 'blob' which is comforting and helping me focus as this last week and a half has felt so unreal. I have been told that it could be weeks before I miscarry but I have time to mentally prepare myself and to say goodbye to this little one. The fertility clinic seem really posative about continuing treatment which I didn't think was possible which is a ray of hope. I have found out this last week just what amazing and supportive friends I have, and although this is (as it is for any woman) a dark time, I know that time passes and life goes on. thanks again x

Hi Nicola,

I'm sad that this has happened, and i wish things had been different for you, i understand your grief, know that we are here to listen & support you anyway we can, let yourself get all the emotions out, its much easier to cope, even if you feel like venting about how you feel, we will listen, i know i will, and i hope this never happens to you again!!

Just wondering, if this is your last attempt for good? or are you thinking of trying again later on? whatever you do, i hope things work the way you want them to for the future! in whatever it is

Its hard when you have no children and go through losses, because you dont have a child to look at and be glad you have, i also dont have a living child, so its very hard, and i will grieve with you for the children we have lost.

All my hugs for you, from ...Jess

So Sorry to hear
Faith and Hope carries us through:pray: Dont lose it my dear.

Nicolajoh,

I am very sorry to hear about your situation. I have had a m/c before. It was very recent on 6/6/09 which was my husband's birthday! With that being said, I am grieving tremendously myself for we had been trying 2 years to have a baby!! I do not know your faith...However, I still would like to drop some words of encouragement. Although the doctors told you that you had ovarian failure it is ALLLLL in God's will what happens to us. He can make a way out of no way!!! Please do not lose the faith and please do not feel conquered bc you are more than a conquer!! I was just watching "Birthday" on tv and the doctors told this 35 year old woman she would NEVER have children naturally bc of something with her menstal cycle. ( I really don't remember the problem.) Anyway, they put her on birthcontrol to regulate her cylce and being on BIRTHCONTROL for about 8 months she fell pregnant. I told you that because she did not give up and she stayed positive in God!!! The devil has a way of winning us over when we are down and vulnerable. PLEASE do not give him the chance to play with your emotions. (Take it from someone that has been there...I could not get along with anyone directly after my loss. I was angry, sad, and hurt! So I DECIDED to take it out on everyone around me!) I read the book of Luke in the bible and it is VERRRRY encouraging.... Just give it time because remember God wants us to be fruitful and multiply. If he said it he will do it and if he spoke it he will make it good. Please stay positive and pray on it and leave it to God...and the next thing you will know...the Doctor's will be surprised :dance:

Be Positive and Blessed,
Alwaysblessed

"Blessed shall be the fruit of you womb/body." Deuteronomy 28:4