repeating prep-what do i do?

corey is in prep this year .he loves school and has lots of little friends.the problem i have is the teacher has asked for a meeting with dh and myself ,they would like corey to stay down next year and do prep again.he is doing well with numerousy,but struggles with literacy.when the kids start school they start on level one for reading corey has only made it to level 2 at this stage in the year.the other children are around level 5 and higher.i have no probs with corey repeating the year but my husband is furrious,he is aware that corey is struggling but thinks this is way unecessary.he is going into this meeting with guns ablazing.i cant seem to have a civil conversation with him about it he gets so upset.i had to repeat grade 2,so i can relate and understand why this is important,dh didnt have to repeat at school.guess who did well.ME thats right i finished highschool and dh didnt,i also went on to become a nurse.i think that this will help corey get through next year with a great deal of confinence and benefit him in future years,i am worried about how this will affect his self esteem.i dont want him to feel he was not good enough to go up with his friends.this is going to be hard.i am dreading all of this already.i think i am going to have to put my foot down on this one.what do you think.have any of you had to go through this.what advice do you girls have for me.since i cant talk to dh about it , i feel very confused.
nikki
:? :smt062 :smt009

Hi Nikki

I think it is better for them to repeat a year while they are younger than waiting till they are older etc. So repeating now will be a good thing to do. My Nephew repeated grade 1 and my SIL said it was the best thing she has done.

Love :hbeat:

awww Nikki that is a hard one!!! I haven't been through that, so its hard to understand entirely, but I think that repeating a grade earlier is better, for them...so they don't have to go through it when they are older etc and there are more social things then. He'll be affected by it now, but I hope that the school councellor would have plenty of suggestions on how to help him get through this. or find a family councillor who can help all of you learn what to do now, this way its not coming from you & DH might receive it better...also it will help Corey in the longer term with your support...
Like I said before I haven't been there, but I can imagine it would be really hard.

Nikki, Christian my youngest is repeating grade 1 this year and it has done wonders for him. I did have concerns in prep but after speaking to the school principal and prep teacher we decided that it would be better for him to move up to grade 1 with his friends and repeat grade 1 if we still thought he needed to. This way he kept all his socialisation skills improving and the following year when he would repeat, the kids wouldn't be strangers to him.
Christian was a little behind in literacy and speech and now that we are drawing near to the end of the year you can really see the difference. For his second year of grade 1 the school kept him with the same teacher so he had a feel of continuity in his schooling and also she knew where he was from the year before and has been able to give us valuable reports on his progress. He has now become a lot more confident in class because he has heard what the are learning before and is grasping it all well. He is also offering help to other students so they look up to him a bit.
Hope this helps you.

Hi Nikki,
This must be a really hard decision for you to make, especially if DH is against Corey repeating...
Personally I guess I think Corey's teacher would know what she is talking about, and would only have the best interest's of your son in mind.
Is it possible to stress this point to DH??
Its such a tough one though... cause you don't want him to be held back from his friends and to lose self esteem...
but then if you look at it from the other angle, he may very well lose some self esteem if he goes to the next grade, yet is way behind on his literacy, and the last thing anyone wants is for him to get frustrated and just give up!
Are there any special tuturing programs the school could offer? ie. whilst the rest of the class does their literacy, he can go and work one on one with someone else, helping him along at his own pace.
Sorry I dont know if this would work at all, as I don't know much of how schools work these days as I do not have any kids in school yet.

Sorry Nikki, I also have not been in this position.
But I would assume that it would be better to repeat a younger year rather than wait until he is older and would be heaps more aware of what was happening. Also if you wait and he continues to have difficulties, it's not going to do much for his self esteem.

Perhaps DH will calm down once he has thought about it through.

Good luck with whatever decision you decide.

.thanks girls.i have to agree with you all .joja i think that dh will calm down when he has had time to get used to it awswell.tutoring is a great idea ambah.i will enquire into that but im pretty sure they offer that service from grade 1.nat thanks for your input it is such a releif to hear that christian is doing well this year and that you are pleased with your decision.did he personally have a hard time with staying down while his friends went up.i just dont want corey to feel that he is dumb or naughty or anything silly like that.christy i will definantly speak with the school councellor about this it will help me with dh and corey.it will give me a few ideas on how to approach this subject with them.thank girls what a terrific support you all are.
nikki

Nikki we involved Christian with the decision. He knew some of the other kids were quicker than him. He wasn't too concerned about his friends being in another grade because he would still see them in the playground, play with them after school etc, he was just in a different class. When we decided to have him repeat his brothers were really helpful as well pointing out things like he would already have an idea about anything they were doing in class so it would be easier for him and Matthew 13, told him he would be one of the smartest kids in the class. I think mostly it has a lot to do with boosting their confidence in class. One year not understanding or keeping up and the next just flourishing.

Hi Nicole,

This must be hard for you and DH but DH needs to realise that all children learn at different rates and this in no way means that your child is going to be dumb because he stayed down which is probably what he is thinking. As you said your son is doing well with numeracy but just needs to really understand the basic building blocks with literacy which will set him straight for life. If he keeps getting put up each year without understanding those concepts he will lose all confidence and each year will be harder and harder for him...does DH really want that for his son.

Some schools don't keep children down until grade 1 and maybe this could be an option for you with the extra tutoring that Ambah suggested. Does your school have a Reading Recovery program that is normally offered to year 1 & 2 students? Sometimes in the middle of grade 1 and with a little assistance from programs like this, students can suddenly 'get it' and start improving. It all depends on what your school has to offer and any other options they have for you.

Keep in mind that kids are very flexiable and having his friends move up without him is far less dramatic than moving to a whole new school completely as many children do each year. They make new friends and move on...it is normally the adults that have more of a problem with it! ;)

Good luck with your decision.

thanks for that girls.i will involve corey in the decision but not untill dh has been to the meeting at the school next week.i want him to be happy with decision first or at least understand why we are doing this,before we get corey invoved.i am not looking forward to explaining it to him i will get some advice from the school councelor first.ms lee i gather from your post you are a teacher what a releif to hear from you.your advice is true and correct.i also taught before i had my children ,grades prep and one so i know corey will definantly benefit from this.its so difficult when you are on the other end of the stick i guess.what grades do you teach.
nikki

Oh wow Nicole another teacher! There is quite a few on here :D .

I have had grade 1 & 2 and prep for 4 years before I went on leave. Now I teach casually as a CRT... all grades.

I wouldn't have told you anything new then :) ! It's funny isn't it, I have a new found respect for parents since I became one myself. Gosh he won't need to have a tutor then he will have you. I'm sure with your and DP's support he will get there.

Best wishes.