A choice I may never have
At the moment I feel so anxious and panicked by the governments decision to make homebirthing with a midwife after July 2010 illegal. I have been an advocate of homebirth for quite a while now and I say thank you to my fertility issues for the time to consider and research my birth options. But it is those same fertility issues that may see that I will be unable to have a homebirth after all, as if i'm not PG soon I won't even get a crack at it and it's putting my mind through hell.
When I say I have been an advocate of home birth it's been mostly chewing the ear off any family member or friend who's polite enough to listen because I haven't felt justified enough to really get into the lobbying side of things as I haven't experienced homebirth first hand and was waiting for the time when I could have my own birth as proof that it all worked the way nature intended. I had planned on filming the whole thing as proof that it could be natural and beautiful and from there other grandiose schemes for the education and inspiration of others would occur. (Sorry if I sound up myself for believing I could) And now I face the possibility that I won't even have the chance to homebirth. I had dreamed that having homebirthed my children, that by the time they were conceiving, a homebirth would be a common occurance and not something that we had to continue to struggle for. Now the death knell sounds.
I wrote my letter to the maternity services review and asked for insurance for homebirth midwives believing I/we could make a difference and that the government would see reason and the benefits in homebirth and instead it's like we brought it to their attention that midwives were practising without insurance and therefore condemning us all. I feel cheated and abused by our own government. I broke down crying during my acupuncture this afternoon in a session that is meant to be relaxing me for my upcoming FET and all I could think about lying on the table was how to fix this problem. I don't have any answers and my helplessness is drowning me. Does anyone esle feel like this? I almost feel like it is the end of rationality in this country, that after the recent research results that have been released regarding the relative safety of a homebirth and the aims of other countries like England that is trying to increase their homebirths I really do have to wonder where the future of our country lies. Sorry for the outburst but I want to know if everyone is so completely gutted as well and what their plans are to try and change this situation. I will either go to Canberra for the rally in September or with help organise a rally on the Gold Coast to coincide with it but apart from that what can we do?