What is this feeling that i cant describe??

i have posted this in another thread as well but basically im in nz due to the death of a family member and my daughter whom is 11 JUST turned the week earlier has just got her first period and i want to know what age was your daughter? AND What is this feeling i have than i cant describe??? How did you feel?

The day i flew in here my duaghter had her first period, and im not sure how im coping/feeling is probably a better word with that i wish i was there. I am so scared now like a whole new level has been reached. Im upset and in some type of shock i guess ya can never prepare ya self for that can ya. My gosh she can have babies she just had her 11th birthday. I mean wow.

She wasnt scared or un educated she was as calm as anything she sent me an email and was all clued in. Thank good ness too as i had already given her the talk 1 year prior and a few in between. The day she got it was also the day they started learning about it in school too. I guess im just sorta feeling like i should have been there and also hoping she is fine and its not painful for her. Her dad has been awesome and they have a great open relationship so she is very comfortable about it with him witch is great.

i dunno im still processing all of this unsure how im really feeling regarding this. wow i guess happy yes but feeling heavy and strange to.

why do i feel so strange?

I think you are probably feeling strange because you weren't home with her when it happened....and as you said because now her body can make babies.

My first daughter was 13 when she first got hers and my 2nd daughter just got hers not long ago at 14. It is an odd feeling to realise that their bodies are now the bodies of young women, even though they are still little girls. (well, my 2nd daughter is, my 1st daughter was always way beyond her years :rolleyes: 16 now and not even living at home anymore, but that's a whole other thread, lol)

hi squidipa,

i agree that maybe its cos you weren't there to help her. I feel that's one of the big miestones for mothers and daughters to share together... but that said... I was away on a sporting trip when I first got mine at 12. (with a male coach and all boys in the team)

I was super scared although I knew all about af, there was still an element of not knowing what to do. I had to go and buy tampons/pads etc by myself which i found super embarrassing and confusing!

BUT, of course i called my mum (in tears lol) and it was her support and love and knowledge and confidence that i really relied on. She organised for another lady who i kew and liked, to have a chat and help me out.

so while you are so far away and maybe feeling a little powerless to help your girl, your contact and support over the phone will mean so much. nad tha'ts great she has her dad and they've got such a good relationship.

What a strong young woman you are bringing up. You should be proud that she's really taken it all aboard and is adjusting so well (not ringing mum up in tears lol).

11 seems so young doesn't it? My DSD is 11 and we found a pack of pads in her school bag last week when we went to put her lunch in. Not sure if she has her period yet or whether they're just there in preperation, but she hasn't spoken to me about it and we have a really close relationship. But it was a shock when we found them as she still seems so young! But a friend of mines daughter got her period and she's 10! Kids just seem to be growing up so much younger these days. Although I was 12 when I got my period so I guess it's not that much older.

i think i was 11 i am positive it was before i was 12 too but knowing what my life held for me i am scared for you. sometimes we dont always make the best chocies or end up in wrong places.

:hug: hun. The big milestones in our children's lives do tend to bring on mixed feelings. While we are pleased to see each new step towards independence and delight in seeing the wonderful people they are becoming, it is also sad to acknowledge that our babies are growing up and moving closer to no longer needing us much. My boys are a long way off from puberty, but I can only imagine that that will be one of the hugely emotional moments in my life as a mum. They will be nearing the end of their childhood and it will be time to trust that I have done all I can to teach them how to be responsible adults. It's a really big step for them and us!!

I wish you all the best with this next phase in your mothering journey.

... As long as you don't go getting on the phone to every female relative you and DD share to tell them the 'good' news!! My mum did that to me (oh, and after she called my nanna and aunties, she went all over town bragging to her workmates and 'friends' she bumped into at the shops, wtf?!) and it was HUMILIATING. Seriously, the bleeding bit I could handle. Having the whole town know exactly which day I started getting my period, was the part that sucked.
I think you feel weird because hey, your baby girl is growing up! I find it really scary that girls these days are starting to get AF at such young ages - I personally was nearly 15 when mine started, and had been convinced for two years that I was a complete freak because all my friends had theirs and there must be something wrong with me. (And that made it worse when my mother told everyone about it, I was a 'late bloomer', you know?)

But yeah, I think the weird feeling you're experiencing is mostly just grappling with the fact that your little girl is growing up... the thought of our kids being able to make their own kids is frightening when they've finished school and working, let alone when they're not even out of primary school yet!! It sounds like she's coping okay with everything, which is good :) My only advice would be to keep the lines of communication open, check in to make sure she's dealing with the inevitable cramps and mess alright, and try not to feel bad about 'missing' this milestone - I'm sure your DD isn't at all worried that you weren't 'there' to help her, if she was prepared and aware of what was happening, she should be fine :)
*hugs* Welcome to puberty, eek!!!

:hug: squidipa

My DD was 10, almost 11, and yes it can be very confronting to realise that your daughter is growing up.

You sound like you have done a great job preparing her for this, no matter that you weren't there with her, the important thing is that she was prepared & didn't freak out.

I think that realising that she is entering a new phase of her life can be hard to deal with, it's real concrete evidence that she is growing up...as you said, she can make babies now...and yet she is too young for that! she is in that strange place where she is still a child but growing into an adult.

If puberty marked a difficult time in your life it could be that you are afraid of what this will bring for her? Trust in what you have given her so far, and that her life journey will be hers... she sounds very 'together' thanks to you, I'm sure she will be fine :)

thank you everyone for explaining my feelings, i felt lost but feeling a bit more grounded now ty xoxo