looking after the older ones

Hello all;

So I am 22 weeks today and we are starting to make a plan for what to do with DD when I go into labour... family is realistically out of the question, there is no way i would be relaxed with either side looking after her!!
So that really leaves friends..
My thinking is that DH can stay with DD until its business time. Last time I think he wanted to be there but was more frustrated that he couldnt do much more to help, this time round at least he will have DD to look after!! then he could leave her with a friend when the its time, and then go back to her after birth and bonding and all that stuff...
That been said what are you all doing?
What would you do?

Cheers in advance


Justine

Eeep, I haven't even thought about this yet. I really want dh there with the whole time, so I'm thinking I might put my mum, my MIL and my best mate on standby and call them (in that order) to see who's available to come and stay with ds. My last labour was pretty quick, so they'll need to get here quickly, or maybe I could drop him off to them, but that would involve them having to come back here (to stay or get supplies) without a car seat... should I pack a bag for ds and have it waiting with mine...

Sorry I'm not much help! **Lori wanders off to further contemplate this whole new issue**

we haven't spoken about it yet cos i'm only 11 weeks but i am imagining we will drop dd who will be 2 years and 9 months off with my mum and dad, who have her loads, and she will probably spend the night and maybe come see me and the new baby the next day.... it all depends though as i am thinking i will try for a c-section so with that in mind we will be able to plan it easily... she may even come in the same day to meet bubs, i suppose it depends on how i'm feeling after it all.

we don't live anywhere near family.....so we are in a similar situation. My mum doesn't want to come til after bubs is born, as she wants all her holidays with bubs & MIL, well she's not coming near my joint LOL.

So we are wanting to use friends, same as you mentioned.......get DH to drop him off when it's down to business & then go back after we've bonded so I can hopefully get some rest also. Prob we are having our closest friends will be on there honeymoon until a day before bubs is due.......hope it comes late!!

hmmmm, DH & I are now both sitting here worried as to what we will do if bubs comes early!!! ahhhh...........I don't know!!!!

I am only 13 weeks pregnant but we have already discussed where DD will be during the birth of baby number two. DD will be 18-19 months at the time. Neither DH or I feel comfortable leaving her with anyone, she has special needs so it is a bit of a different situation however our plan is...
DD will come with us to the hospital when I go into labour, if she copes well then she will stay throughout, if she does not cope or gets a bit fidgety I plan to have either my Mum or MIL waiting at the hospital (they both waited in the waiting room for the birth of DD)to take her for walks etc however they are not to leave the hospital with her, she is to remain close by.
Once baby is born she will stay with us, DH will take her home for the night to sleep and they will come back together in the morning.

We (DH, DD and I) are all very close and we do not believe that our DD needs to stay with someone else at such an important time in all of our lives, not sure what our parents will think of it but they know what we (DH and I) are like so I am sure they know what is coming even though they have dropped hints as to where DD will be 'staying'.

Good Luck, it is hard when you don't feel like you have someone suitable to help and also when you aren't sure how DD will cope with the situation.

I joked just yesterday, when I was having a teary moment that DD would be fine seeing me in labour as here I was crying and she was giggling at me :lol: trying to cheer me up!

Thank you all so much!!

Up until the last week or so we hadnt given it much thought, but then we realised that DD hasnt even spent the night away from us before!!
The last thing I want to happen is for us to leave her in hysterics and not feel that crash hot about leaving her.. Knowing me I will want to be ringing her at every chance I get, and wont be able to concentrate on whats happening to me!
At the moment we are still with leaving her with a friend, but I really like what you have planned Daintree!
my only problem is not being able to plan when exactly this will happen! :)
I had DD in the wee hours of the morning and if that happens again then at least she will be in bed fast asleep and she wont even miss us! :P
But if its during the day then im thinking having her at the hospital means that she can come in and bond sooner rather than later! (and theres a park across the road from the hospital!)
Decisions decisions....
this is almost as hard as deciding on this little ones name!

Justine

Fortunately I had dropped DD1 off at childcare before I went into labour but I had also arranged for both my mum and MIL to come and stay at our place when the time came. As it worked out DD2 arrived before DD1 had even finished her day at childcare so DP came home, picked her up along with my mum and MIL and brought them all to the hospital together - he refused to tell mum and MIL what we had until they got there as we thought DD1 should be the first to know by meeting her new sister :lol:

We also had contingencies though with next door neighbours and friends if we had to rush off in the middle of the night or before or mothers arrived as they both have a fair way to travel. So in total I think we had the main plan and 3 back up plans.

I like Daintree's idea as we have never left DD with anyone overnight or for longer than an hour or two and don't really want to at this stage. It is hard when you don't know when bubs will be born! DD took 36 hours from start of labour till birth and was born at 8am so I don't want DD in the waiting room with mum if it's another long one, but not really expecting it to be. Friends have mostly young chn oftheir own so not too sure about relying on them and my mum isn't young and bouncy around and MIL lives over east. I really think DH will be doing a lot of the caring for DD during birth, but having said that I didn't want anyone near me (including pooor DH) when I had DD so it may turn out. I may just have loose plans and not worry until 40 weeks!

I'm lucky that I've got my parents close by so they'll be taking DD.

Where are you having your baby? If you're having bub at home, a doula might be a good idea (especially if you can get DD familiar with her before you give birth) so there's always a pair of hands for DD and a pair for you. If you're having bub in hospital or birth centre this could still be an option depending on what the circumstances are, or you could find a sympathetic babysitter who's willing to be 'on call' (you'll want to have a few back ups too!) for the last few weeks. This might be an expensive option though.