Help us get over her fear?

First of all, our story

http://forums.bellybelly.com.au/foru...nsillitis.html


I took Bri for her post hospital check up yesterday. She was terrified. As soon as I told her we were going to the doc she started crying saying she wanted to go home.
She kept it up all the way over there.
When we got there, she got a bit more insistant, but the second we started heading into his office she really turned it on. She insisted on going to the toilet first, thinking that was the problem, like it was in hossy.
Then she threw herself down screaming on the floor coz she was so scared & really did not want to go in.
I'm worried about it. The doc assured me she'd have a pretty short term memory of it, & that he'd go easy on her for a while, but how do we get past it?
Any ideas?

OMG that was a drama.

I don't know if this will help, but maybe if you let her help bake you cookies and then take them to the kids that are in hossie. That way you take her to hospital without having her see a dr.
Don't know if this will work, but you can try. Tell her what you want to do, ask her if she would like to make the kids in hossie feel better. Reasure her that she is NOT going to see the dr, that she is there to make other kids happy. Maybe it work, maybe not. It might be a good idea to call the hossie and organise with a headnurse about a time out of visit hours so you don't disrupt the visitor. If you explain your situations, maybe they will bend the rules for you.

There are a couple of great storybooks about overcoming fears for young children. I wish I could remember their names as our school librarian only emailed us about them about a month ago. Can you try asking at your local library? Hth...

I like those idea's. Thankyou :)

I was just thinking. If going to the hospital with cookies is not going to work, try a visit to your old-age home first (or even a kennel, if puppies is her thing). That way she knows what to expect when you say " giving cookies" and that it's not just a trick to get her to hossie, kwim??

Just quickly, for future reference, always make sure canulas are put in by a long time registered nurse, a pathologist or an anesthetist. ESPECIALLY when Dehydrated! Drs are a definite no-no. They usually get a nurse to do it so are pretty crap at it themselves. I have always insisted on one of those and they get the vein first time every time.

I have sat there before watching a dr butcher a canula insertion on my eldest son once and it was so horrific. I wanted to break his nose. He eventually sent in a nurse who spent more time trying to find a bit of arm that wasn't hacked up, bleeding and bruised by the doctor than she did putting the canula in.

With the fear, Harry hates hospitals and beds in hospitals or drs surgeries. Its a nightmare of a fight to get him to just sit on a bed even when there isnt a needle involved. I can't say she will ever forget it or ever become less afraid of needles. Really its the medicos that need to start approaching jabbing children in a different way rather than our kids being told to get over it. Hopefully with your doctor taking it easy on her it will make her less afraid to go. Harry is happy enough to go see Dr Lim or into the hospital now - but he refuses to get on the bed.

We have used lots of different strategies. Our DS has had four heart surgeries and many stays in hospt - and he is only four.

We have had trouble with trauma in hospt before and have used the following;
# story books can be useful
# seeing child physcologist to get some help on the best thing to say to your child - BTW we never tell him to be brave, its like telling him to lie to us that it doesnt scare him
# asking for the play therapist to do a consult with us around distraction and self calming techniques that son can use
# having play therapist there for tests/procedures to assit us and our son (and the nurses!)
# talking with any regular nurses/professions about what the triggers are and how we want things done - we have very regular blood tests (weekly at the moment) which caused him so much distress that we had to really work hard to get anything done
# drugs, we actually had to use Midazolam (sedation) for our son each day for 10 days in hospt to be able to do procedures without increasing his trauma recently
# providing medical play options at home, we have a blank doll and canula, bandage, syringe, gas mask etc for DS to choose to act out procedures if he wants. It has been great to get him to tell us how dolly is feeling and what dolly needs us to do to help her etc.
# getting a Captain Starlight to meet us for appointments and procedures to provide fun and distraction. We only get them to meet us every second time or so now just to show DS that it is ok if Capt S isnt there too.
# repeating the same phrases each time; Mummy is here, not long now, nearly finished, good yelling (not trying to get him to hush and be brave)
# asking him what he needs us to do - he wants us to hold him on my lap and hide his eyes when the needles come etc.

Wow, thats a long list isnt it?? Phew. :redface:

Hope that helps, happy to answer any more qu's if you need.

Rachel

We had DD in hossy twice in one week when she was 13 months old. The first was to have stitches in her forhead - she climbed a set of shelves at day care and wasn't being watched... and the second is when she grabbed my freshly brewed black coffee from the table and tipped it on her and thus a trip to the burns unit.

When we went in for the stiches, we tried to make a game of being in hospital and not talk directly about why we were there unless she asked. Then she was luckily given medazolam for when the stitches went in. This stopped her memory but it didn't stop the screaming so I completely understand the feeling remembering how it sounds. However afterwards we gave her very detailed descriptions of what happened and why. We explained with out emotion as we didn't want her to pick up on our distress.

Then when she tipped coffee on herself, DH and I reacted instantly as per the first aid training we had had. The sound of her screams is something I will never, ever forget... We stripped her off and got her in a cold shower. When we realised the extent of the burn (2nd & 3rd degree) called and were taken to hospital by ambulance where we seemed to have the whole emergency department in the room, about 5-6 of us holding her down so they could put in a morphine drip. I don't think she has much memory of this time. We were then transfered by ambo again to the childrens hospital which took about 1/2 hr. During that time the ambos explained what could happen depending on the severity and I was able to calm my emotions. When we got to the childrens hospital DD had had a sleep and woke up with out pain - thanks to the morphine. In the childrens hospital they were able to put the gauze and bandages on her and explain what was going on. A few hours later she was almost normal...

However when we went to get the bandages changed, she really went off. It was hurting her to take them off as they are directly on the burn, you need to soak them in oil to disolve the glue and it was taking ages. DH was the only one with her and he was stuggling so he made a game of it and used the cooking spray oil. This worked a treat and DD thought it was great being sprayed by this. Again, we learnt to make a game of it and explain what he was doing.

We also got a bear that had bandages on it so she could tell us where the bear hurt and how it was feeling. This worked really well. We still have that bear and photos that we took, DD looks at them and relates the stories we have told her of those times. She isn't scared of hossys or doctors, but is facinated by what they do. She has since had a couple of VERY invasive proceedures and at each appointment we have explained clearly in language that she can understand what will happen. This has helped her understand that even though it isn't comfortable it will help in the end.

However she does still dislike having bandages/bandaids being taken off but she is old enough to do that herself now.

I know this has been a long ramble but I hope that you have got something from it. The main thing we did was explain, in detail, what is being done and why, and also to leave as much of your own emotions out of it. Kids are so smart in the way they pick up our emotions, so if you are afraid, distressed, scared, then so will they be.

HTH

This is hard on both child and parent having gone through it many years ago with DD2.
Does your DD have a special toy. We used to have her "mouse" go with us and it was treated as well as DD. We also found talking about what was happening when it was happening helped.
To this day she (early 20's) has a thing about needles and usually want either myself or DD1 to go with her when needles are involved.
One thing I learnt was when she had to go to the school dentist was to go with her as she nearly fainted just from fear. Any needles needed at school were missed and given at the Dr's to protect her privacy as kids can be cruel when a child gets upset.
I also used to ring ahead to make sure I didn't have to wait to long in the waiting room. If I had to we would go for a walk or wait outside until it was our turn. Just make sure the nurses know where you are so they can come for you when it's your turn.
If it's a new Dr or nurse pull them aside and quietly explain the situation before hand and this usually makes thing go better.

The best thing to do is to normalise it. Have some doctor friends come and visit and maybe talk about a patient - completely fictitious! - that has a similar problem. Play Doctors and Nurses and let your daughter be the doctor.

DS for some reason loves going to A&E. He has been really ill and still loves it. I don't know why. He also loves our GP and the local nurses (who change dressings, clean wounds and jab needles in). I think because they smile and talk to him - and he's seen them at my appointments too. I'm very relaxed about it: even with a scald (freshly brewed black coffee here too: the best thing to scald yourself with btw as it's cleanest and cools down fastest), I was calm. That helps a lot. I know it's hard to relax when your child is injured, but getting scared yourself doesn't help.

The local A&E department also hand out teddy bears to all children who visit. From the Freemasons apparently. DS likes that too.