Thoughts about my mat leave

I'm having a chat with my boss over the next few days about my maternity leave. She's been really good about it, not wanting me to feel rushed to make any decisions. However it's good for both of us to at least have an initial chat about where my head is at so if there is any preparation we can do now it will help when I do go on my maternity leave. I'm the office manager and keep the place ticking over. Given the nature of our office, my experience and my relationship with my boss, it's not a wide group of people that could fill my position.

However I'm not sure where I am at... There are conflicting thoughts in my head...

How did you go about making your decisions?

My thoughts about work...
- I like to work. I worry that if I don't work my brain will go mushy.
- I like my job. I work at a reasonably senior level and get to make a difference to people in so many ways. It's also a big deal that my boss trusts me to run the office, given she doesn't really trust people easily.
- Next year is a REALLY BIG YEAR for our office. I don't want to let the team down by being away for the pointy end of what we've been working towards for 3 years.

However...
- I want to breastfeed
- I want to spend at least 6 months at at home with baby full time
- I want to have another baby reasonably soon after the first, so it's unlikely I'll return to full time work in the near future

Husbands view...
- He wants me to keep my options open.
- He is open to me not going back to work at all

$$ view...
- I get 12 weeks mat leave on full pay
- I will probably take that at half pay, so will be 24 weeks
- We can afford to drop down to husbands wage
- I don't want to feel that I am not contributing financially to the family

So there we go. So many things floating around to take into consideration.

i was in the same situation as you are now.
i'm starting my maternity leave next friday and have been through all the issues you have listed.

i dont get any paid maternity leave so i'll take the remainder of my annual leave first, which is only about 3 weeks, then be on unpaid leave. i took 12 months leave as i wanted to keep my options open although financially i dont have to go back to work unless i want to, which i wont decide until later on.

i am the office manager/PA and have been here for over 3 years so i have a very good relationship with my boss and the staff. what has really worked for us is to recruit early. my replacement started 7 weeks ago so it will be an 8 week handover. the company was willing to pay two people for this time so that we were all confident that by the time i go on leave, my replacement will be up to speed and i will have hopefully imparted all my knowledge to her!

def keep your options open and the feelings you have now may change after your baby arrives. i dont think i will go back to work full time after 12 months (at this stage) but i would like to think i could go back part time if i wanted to.

One option that my directors suggested was to take 6 months leave, and then if i wasnt ready to come back after 6 months i could take another 6 months leave. in my case i have taken 12 months, and if i decide after 6 months i want to go back to work, they may not have a position for me.

although i keep thinking that i am a valuable member of the team etc, i know the place wont fall apart if i'm not around, and i'm only a phone call away if they need to ask a question (for the first few weeks anyway).

re: not contributing financially to the household, this is something that is still playing on my mind. i have never had to rely on anyone to provide for me (apart from my parents when i was younger), but its something that i dont really have any control over, so i just have to manage. i guess its all about communication and what expectations there are.

hope this helps!

Whatever you do make sure it's your decision, not your partners. I made the mistake of listening too much to my partner & the week after I confirmed the date I was going back we split up & I just wished I'd done what I wanted, which was to take the full 12 months off. My decision could not be revoked.

I was in the kind of position that is very difficult to learn & the person who replaced me managed fine (my coworker took on all the difficult stuff), so don't think you are letting them down by taking the full 12 months - if that's what you really want.

You can never have that first year back so think very carefully about what you want to do. It's not easy going back full time either so have a chat about the possibility of going back part time. I never in a million years thought I'd want part time but when I came back I spent weeks negotiating it & from next week I work 3 days per week.

My decision was based mostly on $$ - and still is being affected by that..

I do 'logistics' for 6 stores here, it's pretty demanding & I love it...much like you Fiona I like what I do, I like the level of trust & responsibility etc that I have, etc.

I was worried that I might be too easily replaced & would find I had nothing to go back to... I don't think that's going to be an issue now, my boss keeps threatening to cancel my mat leave (she's joking of course) so I feel more comfortable leaving, and I will continue to do a fair bit from home.

I asked for 16 weeks mostly because I am casual. So, no annual leave, sick pay or anything. Ideally I would have loved 6 mths, I am in no hurry to put this little one into care. But I just don't know if we can afford it, and I felt like I would have been pushing it work-wise to ask for longer.

I have had my last day in the office today (38 weeks & 2 days) and will work froom home until bub gets here.
I would have loved to have a couple of weeks completely off (and may do after bub arrives) just to clear my head, but DH's job is looking shaky now so I feel a real need to keep as much coming in as possible atm.

My plan atm is to go back 2-3 days a week, not 5 days but that is flexible ...we will wait & see. As I said, i am feeling more secure than I was, I'm not worried so much there won't be anything for me to go back to, so I'm happy to play it by ear atm.

I want to bfeed as well & that is probably going to be the hardest thing to manage. But I have the option of coming home to express (I work across the road) and I figure if it's only 2 or 3 days a week, I can manage. We are looking at an electric pump to speed things up a bit in terms of expressing while working.

It sounds like your Dh is pretty happy for you to do what suits you :)
It's only you that can say what will work for you. But it sounds to me like the $$ isn't a huge concern if you can get by on DH wage. In that case I would be looking more at how you feel about being home with bub, and how you feel about being away from work. Some women need their jobs to stay sane! (Ithink I might be one of them ;))
There's nothing wrong with whatever you choose as long as it works for you & your family.

Good luck with your decision :)

ETA - keep in mind too you may change your mind completely once bub gets here. I had one friend who had given up work prior to birth...at 8 weeks promptly went out & got a job, she couldn't stand being at home! and another who did the opposite...cancelled her return to work to be a SAHM. So it's worth keeping an open mind :)

Just thought I would give you a quick update on how my chat went yesterday...

It went.... GREAT!

I had completely mis-understood when she said 'don't rush into any decisions.' What she means is I don't have to tell her 100% how long I want to have off before baby comes. All she wants is a minimum that I definitely want off and then after that I only have to give her 4 weeks notice to return.

I can't tell you how relieved I am.

I was finding it hard to anticipate how much time I would want to have off because I've never done this before. I have no idea what to expect and there are so many variables - my health, baby health, my feelings, how we are all coping, $$ etc. I am just very pleased.

As for what the office will do, there is likely to be another vacancy in my pay bracket in 8 weeks as someone who is on secondment is not likely to return. So we will replace that position with an intention that that person will replace me when I leave. That works out well, as it will mean I will get a good 8-10 weeks of handover.

That being said, I now have a crap load of work to do before I go. Essentially we have a massive one month campaign next year at some point and I have to get everything ready. mmmm...

So anyway, all happy, life is great, woo hoo!

Now, must go and do that work. bye!

That's fantastic news, glad it all worked out for you so well. :)