Our Little Angels

I know this probably does not even compare to your stories as it is second hand experience,
ON July 5th 2008 My sister gave birth to my niece who had died in her womb due to placenta eruption, she called her Trinity, we are creeping up to her first birthday Sunday, it is very hard, me and my family were there through it all, at the funeral i read a poem i had created, it was hard, it affected my exams and ive had to resit most of them as i am only 16.
In Dec 08, an incident occured where we found out my sister was pregnant again, she had split up with her partner and with 3 other beautiful girls, Annaliese, Elle Mae and Crystal, she needed family support. I went with her for her first scan and quite a few after, we found out the baby inside her had a blood clot underneath and it would cause my sister to bleed throughout her pregnancy but steriods would ensure her child would stay alive. She was in and out of hospital all through the pregnancy, which meant she lived with us for a while, i was there through the majority of the pregnancy, she found out she was having a boy, and she always wanted a little boy after having three/four girls. I felt the first kick and i heard his heartbeat too when we went for a checkup, i suppose i was the birthing partner, A week prior to March 29th 09, She was in a lot of pain and still bleeding quite heavily and the hospital was keeping close eye on her, on the 29th, my sister went to bed for a couple hours, when she awoke, she couldnt get out of bed and she shouted for help, she was in severe pain and could hardly walk, we settled her children into bed, and we had a nice night until 9pm when she rushed into the bathroom and was loosing blood clots quite badly, she kept repeating 'I've lost him, I've lost him', we phoned an ambulance and they were here within 3 minutes, they rushed her to hospital and told her baby had 20% death rate and 80% survival, around 3 hours later she was told it was the other way round as the baby and my sister grew weaker by the minute, we were waiting anxiously, at 2:29 (clocks went back), Baby Neo was born, he was born alive but had suffered a placenta eruption again, doctors said they couldnt save him as he was only 23 weeks just under the minimum survival rate, he took his first breath, he had a tear running down his face, after 15 minutes he passed, he was so beautiful, my first nephew, shortly afterwards we buried him and this time i couldnt bring myself to reading a poem, we just had to be there for my sister, i suppose the second my nephew was so much harder to comprehend, cause i watched him grow, i watched my sister loose him, i heard his first kick, his heartbeat, and even saw him on the ultrasound kicking his mummy.

This week as i said earlier, is closing to my niece 'Trinity's first birthday, i know she is there with the angels watching down on us, and guiding us through all these terrible times, and sitting there with her little brother. Trying to tell us they are better and waiting for us all.

Thank you for reading this, I know it doesnt compare to some of your stories as it isnt first hand but I havent spoken about my feelings or how it happened properly, I hope you can understand.

Kim

Kim :hug:

I am in tears! I'm praying for your family and their loss.

Rest in peace Trinity and baby Neo knowing that your family and your aunt loves you very much.

*Big Hugs*

Thank you phoenixcml, very much appreciated, its hard as it is now, my sister also recently fell out with us, so it is all the much harder as i feel like my other nieces will never grow up to know their aunties and uncles and grandparents, i feel like i have lost a part of me with all of them. the pain is so unbearable.


Thank you for your prayers and thoughts

Kim, First of all I'd just like to applaud you for your strength for both being there for your sister and being strong enough to talk about it. We can really hear your pain in your words and can only begin to imagine the pain your sister must be going through. You were there for her through it all, her shoulder to cry on and rock to keep her strong. I'm sure she would be hurting now just like you as your nieces birthday draws near, keep trying to patch things up, letting her know you truely love her and understand what she is feeling. Let her know your pain too, it will be helpful for you both to be there for eachother. And as they say, if you first don't suceed, try, try again... you'll eventually break through the barrier she may have put up.
I really think you should seek some counceling for your experience, I'd really hate to see you experience such emmence fear when it comes your own turn to experience the joy of being a mum, you have made a fantastic step by talking about it on here, but don't stop here.
It's so heart breaking to hear of someone so young such as yourself to experience such trauma. :comfort: Please don't think your story is any lessor comparrison to others, you have every right to morn your loss just as much as anyone else does. Cook some angel / fairy cupcakes on Sunday and light a candle for Trinity and eat one for Neo.

Thank you for your kind words Daytona, The first step for me was talking about it as with exams i havent had time to grieve properly and i think it has probably gotten to much, your words were very kind and sincere, i also like to thank you or the suggestion of the candles i think that would help the whole family through this, we are going to see my nieces grave on sunday and lay some flowers and a teddy bear and also whilst there we will be visiting Neo as he was buried on top of her.


Yet again thank you for you kind words and i hope your pregnancy goes well.

Kim, I am crying here reading your story. I am so sorry your sister has lost her beautiful babies, and that you have lost a little niece and a nephew. You are a very loving, strong and compasionate sister hun, I would be so proud if I had a sister like you. Listening to you telling your story, I just can't stop crying. I wish I had this sort of support from my mum. Unfortunately, I don't have a sister, only a brother who just doesn't get it and a mother who doesn't understand.
Keep the lines of communication open with your sister if you can, she does need you hun. I bet she thinks the world of you and loves you very much.

I am so sorry

Thank you for your kind words, its hard when she doesnt speak to us and it makes it more painful, sunday was a wonderful day, i sat quietly and had a cry to myself, i still can believe it has been a year, but im glad i have family and friends telling me that, Trinity and Neo would like me to move on and carry on with life. My sister is allowing us to see my other three nieces this weekend, we havent seen them in over a month.


Again thank you for your kind words.

xxx