T-shirt troubles

At the start of autumn I bought a couple of skivvies for Natty. The neck on one in particular was quite stiff, so it was a bit of an effort to get it on her.
As a result of us tugging the skivvies on and off on a couple of different occasions, she now FREAKS OUT when we are dressing and undressing her in her top. Needless to say, we don't dress her in the skivvies anymore, but in normal long-sleeved t-shirts with wide neck-lines. But over the last couple of weeks she has become more worked up about it (moreso than when she was wearing the skivvies!). She is really putting on the attention-seeking behaviour of late (no doubt because of Phoebe) and I am trying to be understanding etc, but this is incredibly frustrating and I'm not sure how to tackle it. When I try to put her top on she ducks her head down, when I try to take tops off she moves her arms so that it is impossible to get the top off or on without getting really cross and/or being fairly rough (which of course just exacerbates the problem!).
Tonight I tried to show her on myself how we could get her top off by the sleeves first, but she wouldn't even let me do that - just hung off me, crying.
What do I do? Has anyone else experienced this sort of behaviour and how long will it last for?

:hug: That sounds like hard work!

Have you tried positive reinforcement or bribery? DS2 hates getting his hair washed and would scream and carry on, I started making a big deal when we finally got the job done (just by saying "Well done! What a good boy! And clapping - even if he was carrying on) and over time he has stopped the behaviour. It took time though (probably a month or two) and we still have our days, but it's definitely a big improvement.

I know Natalie is much older than DS2, but I think the principle works for all ages. Otherwise, could you have some kind of treat waiting for her for when she has gotten dressed or undressed? Let her know it is there waiting for her so she'd better get dressed/undressed quickly!

I hope you find a solution soon, it can be so tiring and I'm sure you feel dread whenever it's dressing time :hug:.

My two year old was like this for awhile too and I realised that she actually had a sore ear.
Just any idea but check if there are any red marks around her ears etc.

Hope it gets better soon.

Trish- love the idea for getting hair washed...am going to try it!!

Can you try and make a game of it? You know, like "silly top - you need to come off! You get off Natty now please!" etc
My mum is always really good at avoiding bad behaviour sitchos with this kind of aversion :)
Hope it gets easier soon :hug:

I had problems with DD1 who was 2 at the time, who refused to walk across the kitchen floor. She would cry and carry on because she had to walk across the floor to get to the playroom and all her toys, and refused to cross it unless I carried her...I have NO IDEA what prompted it, and I tried everything to get her to cross it. In the end I had to be firm with her and walk her across. I always gave her positive reinforcement at the end but it got to the point where I just said, if you want your toys you have to walk across, then took her by the hand , counted to three to get her ready and got her there by walking. IT took a while but in the end it never became an issue.....one day she was running after older brother and ran across the floor without batting an eyelid!

I would suggest with your little one to maybe say we count to three then pop your top on...get her to count with you as well then she knows that it is coming, she has had some warning but it is going on! Do the same when the top comes off...count to three then whip it off. She will soon realise that a) there is nothing to be worried about and b) she has to wear it!! Give plenty of praise and positive reinforcement once its done but ignore the crying and get her distracted by the `countdown''as it were!

Best of luck!! :)

I would say that, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter, so I wouldn't pay it much attention. If she doesn't want to put one on, then "Well, OK, that's your choice, but you might get very cold without a shirt on" If she doesn't want to take it off, same deal. Bath with t-shirt on if necessary, Bed with t-shirt on if necessary, try your very hardest not to look put out by it. I'm sure she will take it off before she starts school... (especially if it's Phoebe related)

Thanks ladies for your advice. She is doing much better with it now.
DH and I have been doing a lot of what you have suggested - LOTS of praise when we get it on and off. Also I have been using t-shirts that have very wide necklines (with buttons) and making a big deal of how easy it is etc. Certainly things are improving, which is a great relief!

I was going to suggest that you try only button/zip shirts & jumpers that don't go over her head for a while. See if she just plain forgets about it?