My loss

Hi all,
I got married 28th February this year and we decided after we were married we would start trying for a baby. To our surprise i got pregnant a lot quicker than we though i would because i have a bicornuate uterus and we'd wrongly assumed it would be hard but we were both so excited and told our parents, brothers and sisters and my husbands best mate.

I had a dating scan and as my husband hadn't told work we decided i would go on my own - BIG MISTAKE! I was nervous that the scan would show that baby had implanted on the middle part which may not be able to support the baby, but excited to be able to see it. Upon the ultra sound it was found that my baby didn't have a heart beat :crying: , i was so devastated and shocked - i was in a bit of disbelieve really! They measured it and it was the size of a 7wk 5day pregnancy but i should have been 8wk 5 days. On the drive home i'm surprised i didn't cause an accident as i cried all the way home and i started thinking about the week prior and what happened to cause this too happen - even though deep down i knew it was just one of those things. I'd called my husband to get him too meet me at home and he knew something was wrong, we cuddled on the couch for hours - he is my rock.

I went to the doctors and they referred me onto the Pregnancy Assessment Clinic in at the local hospital. The waiting around for an hour in the waiting room was hard with all these pregnant woman in the room but my hubby was their supporting me - i think i would of been a mess if he hadn't been their. They didn't want to do a D&C, as most woman will just spontaneously miscarry, so now i am just waiting. It's been 4 days since my scan and there's been no bleeding and the way i see it baby died (not that it was alive without a heart)/stopped growing a week and half ago now so i don't know if it will spontaneously abort!! I've got an ultra sound appointment next week (Tue) to see whats happening - and in the mean time I'm just waiting. My hubby went back to work today but it's hard for me to work - I'm a family day carer and work from home so have taken 2 weeks off, I know I'll get upset if i don't give myself time and i can't run to the toilet to cry with 5 children in my house!

The process of grief is hard at the moment, as i know it's still inside me, it may be dead but i still have some of the pregnancy signs. My breasts have been so sore and tender - had such a bad night sleep as i tossed and turned trying to get comfortable as laying on my breasts hurt - they felt bruised in away! Hopefully on Tuesday they will organize to go in and take it so my body can begin to recover.

I am so sorry for your loss :hug:.

Take all the time you need to talk about it and to grieve.

I am so very sorry for your loss.
Please be kind to yourself and do whatever you need to go during this grieving process.
xxx

I am so sorry for your loss. I think you've made the right decision in having some time of to recover and grieve. It's great that you Dh is so good and always know there are plenty of ladies around here for support, advice and just to talk to when you feel the need.
:hug:

I am so sorry this happened chooka :hug:

Sounds like you have a great husband to support you. Be kind to yourself sweetie, and take as much time as you need.

Fly free little angel x

im so very truely sorry for your loss, you have come to the right place for the right help...

take care

Hi All,
Thank you for your comments. I am still waiting for it to spontaneously abort and feel that until i am rid of it i can't grieve completely. The first few days i cried a lot and had heaps of cuddles with hubby - now his back at work and I'm trying to be strong but the first thing i want when he walks in the door is a cuddle (he doesn't mind)! I know that when i do bleed or have a D&C its going to all come rushing back - all the emotions will be their again.

I have given up hope that it will spontaneously abort as the size of embryo is now 2wks behind what it should be and its not gonna just grow a heart :-( So I feel like my body is failing me - their is no hope and my body should know that and discard of it like the Gyno says that most will do. The Gyno was against doing a D&C last week and scared me and hubby out of pushing for it, as things can go wrong and its better for the body to naturally abort it. We go back to the pregnancy assessment clinic tomorrow, for a scan and then to discuss things so hopefully something will be done as i just want it out so my body can recover!!

:hug: I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad the drs are giving bub a chance to leave on its own, but it sounds like bub might need a nudge doesn't it. All the best for your appointment tomorrow, as you make some decisions and continue to process this. :hug:

I'm so very sorry for you and your husbands loss,:hug: My prayers are with you both and all the best for tomorrow. Be kind to yourselves:comfort:

Hi chooka,
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. I remember in the 24 hours between my scan and d & c and I was still getting morning sickness, I just cried and cried because it was so horrible, so I know how awful it feels to have pregnancy symptoms but no baby.
You are lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive husband, and I hope you have lots of other caring and wonderful people around you to help you through this time. Big hugs :hug:

So sorry to hear of your loss... Look after yourself x

Yes the Dr finally did something, I had another scan and saw a different Dr and he booked me in for a D&C. I had it on Wednesday and now feel that i can fully grieve. Walking around with it still inside me felt yucky and now i know my body can start to heel!

I'm glad to hear that you can now move forward and grieve properly.

Once again, I'm so sorry for your loss x

Yeah i hate them. They did a D&C but didn't get it all :-( Now i'm on anti-biotics which have made me exhausted and i've got my brothers engagement party tonight - don't think i'll be drinking! Oh well it will get fixed eventually!

:hug: Far out. Wishing you well Chooka, and that you can find some closure. xo

*hugs* I lost my bubby, it is awful and I'm so happy to hear you got a dr that gave you a D&C. Take care and keep well and make sure you get all the care that you need.