Paying Bills and Being on Leave

Just something I posted in my BB thread

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DH and I had a... well chat is not the best word.. DH had a little breakdown last night and it made me so sad to see him like that :(
He was crying, and kept saying he felt like a failure and it just broke my heart. We've been in our place for a month and this is the 2nd month we're paying our full mortgage, and he's struggling.. Honestly, what's it going to be like when I'm on leave?! UGH I feel so horrible and feel like I should just leave so he doesn't have to worry bout me but at the same time, I'm here for him because I hate seeing him in the pain he's in and how much this is tearing him apart :cry: Poor thing! It was so bad last night that when he was crying, I was too and I have nothing to cry bout! He kept saying he's sorry and that he shouldn't be bothering me with it because I can't be stressed out and all I could say was 'I'm here for you, don't worry about it, your not stressing me out'
Though now, I have EVEN MORE pressure to get this inheritance thing (long story - if you ask, I will tell) settled before I go on leave (Fat chance of that happening though - they've taken this bloody long) on top of my mum and dad asking about it all the damn time - well, more my mum than dad ~ all my dad does is ask about it once every 2 weeks, my mum is constantly on my case about it.. even using the guilty 'I want to know whats going on after all! I gave birth to you!' And now I'm gonna have DH asking about it more often than not because of the mini breakdown he had last night. :wall: God help me :wall:

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I just don't know what to do right now! I REALLY REALLY don't know - maternity leave where I work is unpaid and no-one is giving me straight answers about it!
What am I going to do?! :doh::wall:

You poor thing. Remember you will get the baby bonus, and depending on income you will also get some money from Centrelink. I don't know your full story but can you go to the bank and talk to them? Sometimes they offer pregnant pause (i think it is called) where you pay interest only instead of the full mortgage repayment? How long have you had your mortgage for? Can you re finance it if you have enough equity?
Can you have a garage sale to get rid of things you don't need to give you extra cash to get ahead? Also if you have annual leave you could get that paid to you when you go on maternity leave.
good luck, I hope others will chip in and give you suggestions.

yep, depending on who your loan is with, some even offer maternity leave where you can suspend payments entirely for up to 6 months. Sadly not mine :(

Big :hug: to you.

We have been and are in similar situation to you except we rent and I am lucky enough to be paid half pay whilst on mat leave.


Money can be a big stress in a relationship. We lost almost all of our money whilst I was pregnant on the stock market and it still makes DP feel like a failure. I am not a materialistic person but his family have all these bloody expectations that he should have a certain amount of money by a certain age in life which isnt realistic at all . They are all knobs (but that is very off topic).

The way that we cope emotionally is to remind ourselves that money is not the be all and end all. WE look at our lifestyles and try to think how lucky we are. Yes we live from paycheck to paycheck and DP works 2 jobs, but we are alot better off than a lot of people out there.

In relation to bills, I am so behind its not funny but I have spoken to a few companies lately and explained circumstances and that I am on maternity leave and they have given extentions and given me some good payment plans.

Try and get things re-financed or consolidate any debt before you have your baby and while you are still working. I have had trouble consolidating debt now that I am not working full time.

Also start having a clean out of your house. Ebay is great for selling stuff you dont want or need and you can earn some money to buy things for your baby. Although lots of people will give you things and dont be afraid or embarrased to take them up on offers to give you things. I have been given so many great things.

You should bet the baby bonus which is $385 a fortnight and some FTB from centerlink. You could callcentrelink/family assistance office now and ask them for an estimate if you know how much your DH is predicted to earn this financial year and you as well.

Thinking of you :hug: I hate money..