Printable View
ok so this is my second baby.. i was pretty calm leading up to the birth of my first, was willing her out from 37wks (she came at 41+1 mind u :rolleyes: .. but this time knowing whats coming has me very nervous.. i had a natural labour and birth with dd, no real complications just some decels but all was fine.. i just cant shake the fear tho anyone else the same?
Just know that you can do this... and you know that you can as you've done it before ;)
Don't let fear get in the way.... embrace this experience and be excited!! Try and focus on how its 'positive pain' and 'pain with purpose'..... you'll be GREAT!!! :hug:
Yes very much so & I'm only 17wks along. But I actually posted in a thread some time ago....hmmm think I may have started it. Before I was even pg with no 2 in regards to the same feeling. I have felt that way since having DS & have always said to people I fear it more now than I did with DS. I guess with DS it was the unknown & I chose not to think about it....off I went & had a baby LOL. It all went really well with a small cut & just a few stitches...I walked out of the labour ward. I now fear what "could happen".......my main fear is a CS!
Try not to let it get to you too much, just think positive thoughts & perhaps how you can improve on what you did last time if needed.
:yeahthat::
You will be fine hun. Positive thinking okay!!! Dont pshyc yourself out beforehand. You are a strong woman who can do this. :hug:
I just had number 6 - and I was terrified in the lead up. I don't think you ever can walk into it thinking "Oh this is easy". You Know its going to hurt and to quote Jayne "Pain is scary".
There is also the fear of what could go wrong. We know we can do it and that its a perfectly normal bodily function, but even they can go wrong - just as much as labour can. I was completely unprepared for my PPH because I had done it twice before - it was always fine. But noooooooooo - that time around everything had to go pear shaped, and I think that made my fear with this one worse. But its as normal as having the baby so don't feel bad. You can do it, you will do it - hell, you have to! Bubs isnt going to stay in there forever. Thats what I kept telling myself.
I think pretty much every expectant mother in their last few weeks is walking the line between really wanting the baby out, and being afraid/nervous/apprehensive about labour. Labour is a pretty big thing, and things CAN go wrong. But in the vast majority of cases, things go quite smoothly. And it goes better if you are well prepared and have a positive mind set. Labour is a mind game in many ways.
I highly recommend that you get a copy of Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth if you can. It's easy reading. There's a big section at the beginning full of birth stories, and honestly, some are a little over the top for me, but the message comes through loud and clear - your body was made for birth, and you can do it. Ina May was a midwife in a small "hippy-ish" community in the US, and while some of her practices seem a little much to me, she knows birth inside and out. They delivered twins, breech babies, VBAC's - almost anyone, and had an overall intervention rate (c-section, episiotomy, and forceps) of about 2% over 30 or so years. Compared to the national average of 30-40% that is amazing! So she knows what she's talking about.
All the best for a great labour and birth!
I think it's a pretty normal way to feel. I was especially nervous before this one for some reason, even after five deliveries under my belt. (It turned out to be the easiest of the lot.)
All the very best!
OMG thankk you for posting this thread! I was begining to feel like a bit of a freak! This will be my third time in the labour ward, and I am absolutely petrified! It's a stupid and illogical fear - but I still feel it!
Everyone just says 'supportive' things like "you've done this before", etc. And its all true, BUT I am still scared. I think the thing I am scaredest (if that is even a word) about atm, is missing out on having a epidural either because I labour to quickly or the midwives bully me or talk me out of it again. And I must admit that the main reason I have decided to have an epidural after 2 natural births is because I am scared of the pain.
I remember being this way with my second as well.
Yep Im semi freaking out. I think its because I dont know what to expect and everyone says its really really painful. What gives me confidence is knowing that woman actually DO survive child birth lol
As a first time mum I have no idea what to expect or feel, and Im also worried that my body won't do what its supposed to. Its actually comforting in a weird way to know Im not the only one who's freaking out- apart of me thought its just a first time mum thing.
Hmm what Im trying to say isnt coming out right lol all I know is Im just going to repeat in my head that woman do survive this and to remind myself there is an actual baby at the end of it all!!
I wish you all the best :)
Ooooowh, I'm the odd one out again!
I didn't get scared of labour before Liebling. I was looking forward to it! It didn't hurt (well, it was uncomfortable) and I enjoyed the labour I had. Given that I had it from 7am one day until 11am-12noon the next I can say labour is OK!
I'm looking forward to getting pg again just so I can have labour again! And next time give birth too. I really want to feel that.
I just told myself "my mother gave birth, my grandmothers gave birth, my great-grandmothers gave birth... all a long line of women who gave birth and now there's me. Why on earth wouldn't I give birth?" (I can answer that one but it would be a rant!) I can give birth - I just need to be left alone to do so. And will be next time!
I know how you feel! After having DS1 I was in NO hurry to go through labour again!
When I fell pg with DS2 I decided to empower myself more and have a better experience. One thing that really helped me relax about my upcoming labour was reading this thread: http://forums.bellybelly.com.au/foru...f-methods.html
I found just practising the breathing techniques in the lead up helped relax me and made me feel calm about labour. It really worked too! I had a wonderful labour with DS2 :D
Try relaxing and thinking positively about your labour, it will make such a big difference :hug:.
thanks for all the replies ladies.. i feel much better knowing im not the only one whos scared.. of the people ive told about being scared theyve kinda just brushed me off saying dont be silly youve done it before but not aknowledging that it is ok to be scared iykwim? i know deep down i can do it and once it starts happening u just gotta go with it but im still scared!
YES noni - I'm packing it. I was - a couple of weeks ago - having panic attacks and getting myself soo worked up about it.
Then I woke up a couple of mornings ago and remembered how fast DS was (how painful too). I also remember being "out of control" during that birth because it was soooo fast. I came to the conclusion that this time, I am going to control my feelings and the process as much as I can. I told myself, that I am the one who can control this situation (to a degree of course) and that I am going to do it.
That actually made me feel a lot better.
I don't think knowing what it's like to give birth makes it any easier though. It might actually make facing it more difficult because you know EXACTLY what you're in for. There aren't many ifs, buts or maybes - we know what it feels like!! I think any fears any of us have are justified, it's just how we deal with that fear, I suppose. Ultimately, there's a flamin' fantastic present at the end of it all, isn't there? What we do is just amazing - making a human!
I am sure I will still go through times of being scared and worried, but when the time comes, I am determined to be in control. Way more than last time anyway.
That thread you provided us, Trish, is great. I've just read through all of that.
How fantastic. Did blue daisy write the book?
I swear every pregnant woman needs to read that thread! I forward it to lots of people :D:
I'm not sure if she has gotten around to writing the book, I hope she has!
Well, it's a fantastic thread!
Trish, thanx 4 the thread link - I found it so informative and useful.
Cheers :D