murray

i thought ils share some insite to my son murray

some days i blame myself for murray beeing autistic others i think it was going to happen cannot blame myself

i didnt find out i was pregnat till 11weeks in that time i ate normaly and partied normaly beeing 18teen

when i did find out i was pregnat i ate to the guidlines ect i had low lying placenta and o neg blood type

when he was born he had a great apgar 10 at first then a 9

he was unsettled from the start he used to scream all the time he was a colicy kid too

he reached his milestones slowly he smiled but never at you he allways seem to be in his own world

i noticed things were not right just before his 1st birthday and things went down hill from there behaviour ect he dosent talk he might say mum but its more a mmmmmmm sound he allso calls me mem

hes a bolter allways running away from me and home

at 13 mnths i put him in daycare the girls there asked me if he was developmentaly deleyd i was so offened i never took him back but i knew deep down somthing wasnt right

december 2008 i set the ball in motion i took him to my gp on a bad day and asked him if he thought somthing was wrong finaly got a pead appoitment

the pead saw him for an hour and diagnosed autisim mind u i had to wait till may for an appoitment

in june he started speach path and its helped so much he starts ot next month and im hoping to get this last assment before xmas

we have a strict routine he wakes at 7am has breakfast we struggle through a shower he gets dressed on mondays has daycare and wensdays otherwise he plays playdough or cars morning tea then he helps with chores ( most of the time takes hours as i end up chasing him all the time ) then lunch then a nap then its play time dinner time bath time and bed at 7pm

when he misses somthing in the routine all hell breaks loose he stands still hands on head and hammers his head into walls or screams for up to 3 hrs

my manrtera is " what dosent kill me now makes me stronger "

ill add to this thread as i go on right now im trying to go over the notes ive written myself lol handwrittings worse then his drs

:hug: Good mantra...hang in there must be sooo hard I can't even imagine:hug:

it is becuase its true lol

tonite he went to sleep before i could get him to eat dinner or have a bath and cause hes been sleepy all day refusing a nap i thought what the hell let him sleep its going to be hell tomrow but thats the price i pay for 8 hrs sleep lol

ohh hun you are an amazing and verry strong women dont ever blame yourself your doing such a great job your little boy murray is very lucky to have such an amazing mummy xx:hug::comfort:

yep we have our days but i cant stay mad for long

im hoping to get him toilet trained the pead said im looking at age 5

hes showing signs atm wanting to sit on the toilet ect but he dosnet do anything he just likes to sit on it

im over nappies i truley am im changing him up to 12 times a day costing me a small fortune

but alas he has to want to be toilet trained i spose cant push him

what an amazing mum you are!
I cant even imagine how hard it is and you are doing such a good job
:hug:

i spose we all beat ourselves up are we great parents i know ive spent some nights after hes gone to bed just an utter mess crying to my partner when we go to bed and he says he hates it when im lke that cause theres nothing he can do but let me cry as its sort of my way of releasing all the frustration of the day

atm im having a hard time in public i take him to the shops and i cant relax on high alert is he touching stuff is he going to behave is he going to spitt at ppl today can i get past the yogurt isle without a mess

we allso live on a 11 acre property i have dead bolts on the outside of all my doors sounds extreme but murray can escape and be down our 2 km drive way in less then a minute

i found out i was preggo today

im not to sure how to take it as i allways said ild wait and now im on the journey for another baby all thats running through my head is not how ill cope but how will murray cope

:hug: I understand that.... Its so hard when you can even think of things as your life anymore but how it will affect Murray's life.

I got pregnant when Matilda was 18 months, but we did heaps of role play and books about mummy being pregnant. I started around 13 weeks into the pregnancy and we read something or watched something about pregnancy everyday to help prepare Matilda, and we read books about what baby's do. We would go and hang out with friends with babies... just to help her understand the change that was going to happen in our house.

yeah thanks for the ideas ill try and start that

he loes dolls and is allways pointing out babies on tv but ive never actully seen how gentle he would be with a newborn

well we have had tantrum after tantrum over food he wants to gorge all day on ceral i can see his poor tummy is distending and its hard to get him to eat at the best of time so i cave but i can see if i keep letting him gorge on food im not finding a cure to his eating habits

he had a great time with play dough today squishing it eating it

but every time my partner said a word to him he would bolt to hi room and hide and when i spoke to him he would screem so not a good day to comunicate

IKWYM about the eating thing....

We have days/weeks where certain foods are okay, and then it changes. I reckon its a textural thing for her, so it maybe for him too? Sensory issues can be exacerbated by eating... so if sound is an issue with him (talking.... etc etc) on that day, eating crunchy things can help or hurt.... one or the other.

:hug: cereal isn't the worst thing in the world to eat, and if he eats that for a week..... well he will put some weight on and on the days he doesn't eat, its okay.

The thing with our super kids is they have a hard time letting us know what is going on in their brains. :hug: You are doing a good job!!!! Don't ever forget that.

yeah the past week its been crunchy cereals weetbix no milk corn flakes with milk and he demolished 2 18 packs of mueasli bars ina week

some days he refuses to let food go anywhere near him atm hes focusing on a food and thats the food

we did have the bfs daughter staying this weekend so has sorta stuff up his routine as hard as ive tried to keep it together

he is signing back to me with makaton only 2 signs tho more and wash which i thought was an improvment

gah why is it when you get on track someone allways screws it up for you im so well i dont know anymore the bfs parents are trying to break us up due to his mother reading all my status thingos on facebook and calling me a lier as what i say on there i dont tell my bf but my bf reads my facebook so its like hitting a brick wall after this mess i cant see me staying in the same town as them as my bf has had enough working for them and wants to quit

this means change for murray he has to leave his daycare his speach path all the progress hes done they want to smash it i can take the fact they hate me but why take it out on a child hes done nothing wrong and they want me to just rip him up and cart him back to my parents which is a 12 hr trip and will set us back months and months

i just dont know what to do anymore do i leave or do i stay and be utterly alone no support and misreable

Aww hon, just wanted to give you:hug:
You are so young, and you have so much to deal with.
So long as you and your BF are on the same page with Murray and the new baby, you can survive anything.
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you all.
xx

awww mate. As if having a toddler and being pregnant wasn't hard enough?? Let along Murray and his special super qualities.... than you have to deal with the hormones from early pregnancy and now other people too??? :hug:

well we are home we got addmited into to hospital on wensday i took him in cause he was not himself sleeping heaps his breathing was bad and he would take anything oraly saw the dr and he said he has broncitis streptacocil tonsilitis and a cold plus the eat infection and the dr said the nurse that fobed us off on sunday had no idea what a mess she has caused he put him on 4 hourly iv antibotics and nebuliser for his breathing

i hae had 3 days of hell hes had temps and bad dreams and his breathing was just shocking we got discharged today as hes doing much better

all the nurses helped me so much 2 of them had autistic children themselves and when he was crying and wanting to escape the room they got mea pram so i could push him around the ward they got me milo and helped me out at night gave me breaks

i have to say i was so impressed with the standard of care

me and the bf are finaly beeing nice to each other hes seen things my way and ive seen them his so im feeling alott less stressed atm