Pregnant and single. Should I move abroad?

Hi ladies!

Well, i'm 17 weeks pregnant now and bub's dad and I are definitely over. I have had some LOW moments, but I know it's for the best. I'm an independent person by nature and me and the wee-an will be just fine! :)

What I'm really writing for is because as much as I've tried to fight it, I'm a gypsy at heart, have spent the last 3 years abroad in different countries and thought I could settle in Oz but my heart just isn't here.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE that I am pregnant and going to be a young Mum, I just think we might be happier somewhere abroad.

I don't have a tonne of money, but I am earning a decent wage casually just now and could probably save quite a bit. Do any of you know someone who has moved OS with a baby on their own? I know it sounds like madness, especially when I have an amazing family here. It doesn't have to be right away, but I hope maybe sometime down the track...

does the father want something to do with the baby at all?

If he does then I think you should stay put. I personally would attempt some reconnection with the father (to see his child) once the bub is born anyhow. My ex (ashtons father) was not interested, they have since had some visits and he loves him and wants to be involved in his life. I can't deny him or Ashton that.

Also I think having support is necesary, especially as this is your first. Family, friends etc are VERY important. Raising a baby is a lot harder than you think, let alone doing it in a country where you have no support and know noone.

Sorry, I should have mentioned that the Father is Scottish and lives Scotland. I met him and got engaged when I was traveling.

I don't know whether he wants to be involved. Things are still just so complicated, especially if distance is a factor.

There are lots of single parents who travel extensively with their children so I'm sure you can too however if your babies' dad wants to be involved in his/her upbringing then there is a possibility that he could get a custody order that would prevent you from moving OS permanently.

My ex has another young son from a previous relationship (in scotland) and the last time I spoke to baby's dad on the phone he told me that his other child is the priority just now, which is why we broke up and why he isn't move to Oz. I understand that, but I don't know whether me and our child suddenly become important once the baby is born. It's just so messy.

:hug: it can be really tough. Sometimes the fathers just don't get it hey :( Ashtons father wasn't interested until he was 4 months old so I know how horrible it is to go through the whole thing on your own. Noone to share the kicks, the U/S pics, but you get to bond with your baby in a way that I never thought was possible with Ashton.

If I were in your situation I would leave it for now. Try to reconnect with him for the sake of the child once bub is born. If he isn't interested, and you think you can do it then I say go for it.

A new baby can be really tough, especially with no support. I've been there and I ended up moving closer to support.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do :)

Hey

I am very similar to you and love travelling - even just got back from Hawaii where I was off by myself having a blast at 5-6 months pregnant! Got a few strange looks thats for sure!

It sounds a little like you're worried about how your life will change and are hoping that moving overseas again will make you happier. But really - has all the moving you've done so far found you a spot you ARE happy to settle in or are you still just looking?

A practical step is to look at what giving birth and raising a kid in a country will be like. I have my green card, so could have stayed in the US but with no insurance birth would have cost $7000-22 000 easily. Ouch. Then no support after birth.

Then look at things like flying restrictions and insurance - I could get travel insurance to 24 weeks and no further and most airlines have cut off dates for travel.

I've decided that I do have to just settle close to family now and have this child at home, for the sake of both of us! But to sooth the fear that I'll never travel again or that my life is "over" I've just started a travel list of places that are kid friendly or that I think would be great to show a child. I mean imagine seeing the pyramids by youself - that's pretty fun. Now imagine holding you son's (in my case) hand when he's five or so and seeing the look on his face when HE sees the pyramids.

Life will change but the travel and adventure will always be there and I think it's pretty hard to keep hunting for your happiness right now. Be near your family and focus on getting your issues sorted first is my advice.

Thanks so much for your advice.

I think travel will always be a part of my life, but to travel with my daughter when she's a bit older would also be an amazing experience. I have done it on my own and it can be great, but also lonely.

I love Edinburgh (which is where baby's dad lives) and when I was there I hoped I would live there forever, but circumstances just don't allow for that, not with my ex and I together anyway.

Here's hoping that the future holds some great adventures for this mother/daughter duo!