Birth of Baby James ***WARNING WAY TMI***

Well now where to begin?... ***warning i go on wayyyy to much about irrelevencies***

James was due to be born on the 20th of November 2007, on the 22nd of september (4weeks before I was due) was the day I decided to hold my baby shower. I had just started cleaning up from the party and decided I needed the loo (as you doquite often so far along lol) but what I wasnt expecting was a "plop" ...the bloody show had appeared great :rolleyes: oh well nothing else so ill just take it a bit easy. Nothing else happened for the rest of the day so I went to bed as per usual.

In the morning my brother (11) and sister (10) came into my room to get me up which I could have killed them for but I decided what the hell and sat up for a chat during which I sneezed and leaked a little so I decided that it was normal for that to happen to someone so far along so i got up and *splash* goes my waters in front of my little bro and sis. Well I had just gotten up and needed the loo so i played it down a little ..grabbed a few towels to put over it and then went to do the usual morning thing (loo time) so I knew it definately was my waters all over the floor... I knew then that it was time to go in but I was not going covered in gunk so I jumped in the shower before dressing and waking my mum to tell her the news.

We rushed down to the hospital and my mother arranged for her younger two to be looked after (she was to be my birthing partner). Well the hospital staff that day were absolute crod, they assumed just because I was young (19) and single (had been with the daddy since I was 15 and had broken up not long ago) that I would have absolutely no idea what was going on...admittedly there are alot of no hopers that go to that hospital...they tested to see if my waters had broken and got negative, positive and inconclucive on the tests -.^ weird... (I was still slightly leaking) so they consulted the doctor that was on at the time (he was my ob at the start of my pregnancy before I decided he was to incompetant ...he refused to give me the ultrasound to see the amount of fluid at the back of my baby's neck because I refused to abort if my baby was to thought to of had downs syndrome) and because he couldnt figure out what was going on and i hadnt had any contractions he sent me home.

Later that day I started to get b/h that were about 10-15mins appart and rather irregular after about an hour or so they progressed to being a shiver load more painful and about 3-5mins appart and more regular so I told my mum it was time to go again. When we got there the same doctor was still on and could not pick up my b/h on the monitor and I wasnt dilated or effaced so he sent me home again.


For the next 6weeks I was leaking and b/h were constantly coming and going but never picked up on the monitor (so annoyed)

During that six weeks I had constant ob appointments and when my due date had come and gone and another week and still nothing had happened other than extremely painful b/h I begged him for a space to be induced which he finally said yes to, but then he gave my space to a woman that worked at the clinic because she was over it (AS IF I WASN'T) she hadnt even hit her due date yet so instead of being induced on the Tuesday (10 days over) I was back benched till saturday (14 days over also considered dangerous where I am) Oh and my grandmother (not nana) in this time tells me not to panic and only go in when my waters break (know nothing bloody woman....grr)

Then on Thursday 01 November a couple of days before I was booked in I woke up at 2am screaming and crying in agony (my family would sleep through a bomb) after a few hours I was able to start controlling myself and dealing with the pain better (I have a very high pain threshold especially as I get used to something) by morning I could walk and talk...stopping at each contraction for each... and tried to pretend nothing was wrong and got my mum to take me to get breakfast (which i managed to trip over while doing and skinning my knees) and drop me at my mothers group (there was no way i could have driven without crashing). As soon as I got there I found my place on a comfy couch which is where I laboured for the next three hours my contractions going from 8mins apart down to 3 (my group leader was timing) before calling my mum to pick me up to go to hospital.

Woohoo it looks like we are finally getting somewhere.......

I get hooked up to the monitor (nothing) and get another internal examination done and I'm :pray: ... 1CM NOOOOOO!!! ....they send me home.

Well I was soo uncomfortable I was not not going home I needed a hot bath :} so I go to my nanas and soak in her bath for the next 8hours which has slowed my contractions back down to 5mins until she convinces me to get out....

What a mistake:wall: They start coming hard and fast 1min contraction, 1min rest no way was I putting up with that so 1am back to the hospital and still their monitor is picking nothing up and internal shows less than before

They can see that I am obviously in pain so they offer me pethadine and I'm allowed to stay but I send my mum and nan home they need their rest for tomorrow.

I have been given the pethadine and a room for myself but the pethadine does nothing for the pain so I try walking up and down the room but need to keep grabbing the bed with each contraction (mainly because it's all in my back). After a few hours (9am by this time) the nurses who have mainly left me alone realise that I have not slept and that the pain relief was not working so I get the gas which I thought was awesome...at least for a while. Its getting onto about 1pm and I'm 2cm "How can this be happening it's not fair" I cry.

A student midwife comes in to chat with me for a while and offers me the bath which I gratefully accept (I get to take the gas with me:dance:) and it helps for a while but the contractions are getting worse and I'm making to much noise and crying for the epidural so they take me back to my room and do another internal which shows I'm 5cm (yay) finally getting somewhere so they wait for a bed for me (my memory went a bit fuzzy around here, I think from the gas).

Next thing I know it's 6 or 7pm and still no epi but they have taken the gas from me as I have been sucking it down non stop and they needed me to be more conciencious as I was scaring the other ladies in labour. I remember screaming alot and yelling for the epi but they cant get an anethesist in. At 6cm my body automatically starts pushing and there is nothing I can do to stop it they need to find an anethisist so that the epi will stop my body from pushing. At about 8pm I finally get my epi (thanks to a doc visiting another patient) and my screaming gets a total tone down to a simple ouch at each contraction. I'm so happy and am now fully aware that I have visitors (embarresing) oh well lol. I get to talk for the first time in hours and I send my mum to get me food (I know your not suposed to eat in labour but it had been like 2 days since my choc milk/breakfast) and the midwife reluctantly agrees to let me have a meal ....bad idea though :sick: oops what a waste but at least I felt like I had eaten.

I have only a low dose of epi because I wanted to feel the contractions still so the nurse has to redose every 15-20mins untill she goes on her break and she tells the fill in that she needs to give me another in about 5....well 5 mins went by and it's really starting to hurt again, 10mins...holy hell I'm begging for more but she tells me to wait, 15 im back screaming on the gas untill _MY_ midwife comes back in. She instantly had a go at her stand in and refilled me thank goodness.

At about 9.30 there was change over (NOOOO) and I get stuck with older midwife that thinks anyone young is just having a baby for the baby bonus which I would never do and look down on the ones that do cos what does it really get you...any way back to it...

In the last few hours my cervix had been opening and closing, opening and closing, opening and closing 5then3, 6then4, 7then5 argh so fustrating...it had been doing this for the past 6 week they figured, oh and the monitor still has picked up nothing!! and they have also hooked me up to the synticinin at some stage I don't remember.

At 10 the midwife checks me and I am 8cm with the last 2cm on one side...as soon as she walks away I get this weird sensation come over me and I tell my mum I feel funny and she makes me tell the midwife ...Another BIG mistake...my boy is just crowning when she looks and instantly is pressuring me to push rather than let me relax with no contractions and the peace that comes with the transitioning phase which makes me all fustrated and i try to puch which is doing nothing so she yells at me and gets my mum and my two mates to do so too. I'm pushing "wrong" but the only help she gives me is to yell at me more and make me move into all different positions (the epi has almost worn off now) and it is just making it worse I need to lay on my back and because I'm screaming and crying she gets me with the pethedine and more epi which I said NO to (that was sooo wrong for her to do that) now because she gave me too much I cant do anything I'm just laying on the bed my body exhausted and drugged up and whenever I find some fight I yell out that "The baby is stuck I need help" but because I'm young, single and am "after the money" she wont listen to me until one of the other midwives come in to see what was happening. The extra midwife instantly calls my doctor and he races to the hospital (I felt kinda special for him to do that) So finally my doc is there and they are jamming tablets down my throat to bring my blood pressure down becsue it was up FAR to high (I was in shock and so was my baby) and my doctor calls for the suctioncap and scizzors because he can see that there is no way _I_ can get the baby out now and because of the food I stupidly ate, our blood pressures and the lack of an anethesist there is no way for an emergency c/s his only option is to rip him out and cut "down there" in the process. Everyone is yelling at me to come to and push because the doc cannot do it on his own and somehow I do and in about 5 assisted pushes my boy came into the world....

11.01pm He was staring up at me but discoloured and not breating. The room was full of people yelling that he was flat. I didn't understand all I knew is that they were yelling and took my baby away from me....I drifted in and out of consienceness for the next half hour....i remember the doc was stiching me and it hurt but he was saying it was ok

When I was finally consious I started asking for my baby...he was ok everyone one was around him on the table thing. He was wide eyed, looking around and mouthing for a feed :}.

Just before midnight my doc had left and so had the midwives so I asked for my mum to hand me my baby and I looked at him and said "are you going to be difficult or are you going to be a good boy" and I put him to the breast which he took to loke a pro, I had no pain and abundant supply....then the midwife walked in and started telling me I was doing it all wrong and made me try positioning him differently as well as my breast to his mouth which was painful and upsetting so I told her to leave me alone (something I should have done a while ago) and put him back on the way that was best for us.

He was born 8pound4 (3740gms) and 53cm long and absolutley perfect.

The midwifes realised somewhere in all of that (I can't remember exactly when) that my membranes has ruptured some time ago and that it was going to be a dry birth (there was a small amount of mucus that he had been surviving on for weeks and the only thing holding it in was his head). This plus thier ignorence during postnatal care (they assumed that I was a druggy andthat is why I was constantly begging for panadol which if I would never normally do and if they had of listened they would have realised and would have noticed the fever that the panadol was hiding) caused an infection to go unnoticed until I went back into hospital a week later an hour away from death.

I hope noone else ever goes through what I had to or worse ever again and I also realise that there are plenty of people that go through great labours and the ones like mine are few and far between. I'm going to take control next time and it WILL be better.

My boy is now 21months and as good as the day he was born...My flat clothed bummed, sling held boobie baby :nappy::sling::dance:

You did so well for what you went through.

Well done :)

well done huni you did a amazing job considering what you went through....welcome to bb.
rach xox

wow - what a crappy experience for you, i'm so glad you and your bubba had your bond though, and that things are going well xoox

I am so livid at the way you were treated. Doesn't matter if you had been 14yo, these people need to be shot. What makes one birthing woman less deserving of respect and care than another? Absolutely nothing.
I was glad to read you tell the middie to bugger off about the breastfeeding. You are spot on, they had absolutely NO right to just jab you with things you had asked not to be jabbed with.
Do you think you could use all of what you have written to write a letter of complaint to the hospital? I would strongly suggest it - it might even help another young mama down the track if they can start thinking about changing their approach or one day formalising some training about young mothers (for the benefit of staff who are going to hold grudges or let their ignorant ideas affect their performance and care of women).
Thanks for your story, it's nice to be reminded of the sheer strength and resilience us women have in adversity!

After reading your posting I was in tears(good therapy believe me) I can`t quite work out whether they were angry,upset or both tears though. I`m so sorry you had this experience. It has taken a long time, almost a year due to the trauma, to piece together what happened to me. I went through a period of keeping my mouth shut about what I really thought about my experiences in hospital during the birth of my dd.What absolutely insenses me is that this continues to happen(supposedly to the minority of birthing mothers). Why do you have to keep fighting for help when it`s their job to help you and they are supposed to be qualified and skilled somehow but still seem to make such a hash of it. I can absolutely identify with the experience of staff being rude, judgemental and downright unprofessional. A midwife actually stormed into my room and shouted at me all for agreeing to see a lactation consultant all during the aftermath of a horrific birth feeling weak, in shock,pain,anaemic, infected......etc.
I suppose you cant teach how to care with compassion and have pride in your work in uni and midi/obs is only a job after all. I apologise for my bitter rant.
On the positive side we are managing to get this all out and to go through all of these experiences and come out of the other side and still raise our kids makes us extremely strong people in spite of the poor care we have recieved.Well done you!

I'm so sorry for what you had to go through, but your strength is inspiring! Congratulations :D

Thank you all for your support and i am sorry to hear that others have had to go theough similar experiences but we all push through if for no other reasons than for our childrens sake

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I am so livid at the way you were treated. Doesn't matter if you had been 14yo, these people need to be shot. What makes one birthing woman less deserving of respect and care than another? Absolutely nothing.

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I, too, agree with Maya here - I was appalled at how you were treated - so what that you were 19 at the time?! My DH is a school teacher and had a 14yo pregnant and you know, nowerdays it doesn't surprise me. I hate the people that judge others on age... and the whole 'Single, young and only in it for the baby bonus'
Its disgusting that a medical professional would think that.. I'm so sorry you had to go through that - and I applaud you and send massive kudos to you for a brilliantly written birth story :clap::clap:

Forgot to put in there that from about the beginning of October till after his birth I had bruises all over the top half of my stomach and into my ribcage from him being far to big for me which has also given him "bandy legs" as I call them....his shins are curved inwards so it has taken him longer to walk and a bit of a weird appearance although he shouldn't need surgery to fix them.

good on you for getting through all that! it is disgusting the way they treated you! a friend of mine had her baby at 21 (not even that young really) but they treated her as if she hadnt planned on the pregnancy and knew nothing about labour and birth. she said they really dumbed everything down for her and were really patronising with the way they talked to her. that makes me really mad!! whats worse in your case is that the medical treatment you got was ridiculously ****ty! but next time you will be stronger and wiser and get the birth you want! :-)

Oh wow hun, good on for you having the strength to fight against the prejudices of the supposed 'professionals' and congratulations on the safe arrival of your little man!! I'm so sorry you were treated so poorly by the staff who were meant to be supporting you, I had similar experiences with both of my kids (probably because I'm under 25 and have piercings and tattoos - like that makes a difference when it comes to being a good parent or educated about how pregnancy and birth work!).
I hope that when your time comes again, you are able to work with people who have your best interests at heart and will treat you well, and care for you adequately.
Big hugs!!

hi just here to say that your not alone with the service that you had. i was 17 and i had to have a caesarian and i didnt have a choice (my baby was breech and lying transverse) the dr didnt even ask if it was what i wanted, had the caeser with no troubles next day came and they were ready to chuck me out and there was one night nurse that treated me like i was dirt and that i didnt know anything simmler to your exp, months went bye and i was still bleeding and id been to the drs on nurmerous occasions and they continued to say that it was a ginos problem so got a referal to him and he said that its not a ginos problem. another 2 or 3 months had passed and i was still bleeding without it stopping i enden up in hospital they took out my apendix and had a look and they found a busted cyst and that the bleeding was caused by blood flowing the wrong way in my ovarys. i was lucky they found it when they did cos if it had of been another few days i could have died. i knew there was somthing wrong but no1 would listen to me.

OMG WOW! I just watched the video from when my boy was born and guess what? He was bloody posterior lol. No wonder it was a back labour. All that came out, other than of course him and the placenta, was a little bit of bloody mucus... other than that it was completely dry. I am really glad I watched it though as it has really settled me to see exactly what went on and there is a lil more I could add but I prefer to leave it as is but I can definately say that after watching it I was right and it did go exactly how I remember which is really good, mentally, for me, plus I am no longer scared to go though it again now that I know that it was because he was posterior :D

I am so glad you got some closure after watching the birth on video! That is a nice ending to a pretty horrific tale. I can't believe how badly you were treated by the hospital and your birthing staff. You did so incredibly well to bring your little man into the world against such opposition. I am really impressed with your strength and positivity.

So pleased to read that you are not scared to go through it again, that is so important. All the best with ttc! :hug: