Scared about toddlerhood....is it always so hard?

Today we spent several hours with friends of ours who have a 2.5 year old child. Its been a while since I've spent that long with them and I came away a bit traumatised. Their son is really full on, I think. He was extremely jealous of anything my son was playing with and often snatched it away from him and tried to hit my son. He would get upset about my son trying to play with his toys (we were at his house) and would crowd him and physically dominate him and throw things at my son and 'smash' what he was playing with across the room. Once or twice the toys hit DS and it upset him, but by and large my DS didn't really notice. The parents (our friends) seemed to be doing a really good job, always on top of his behaviour and giving him consequences for his behaviour, but it was a constant, full on, really hard job.

It really freaked me out that my sweet placid child is going to turn into a constantly challenging, scary, difficult toddler. Do they all act like this? Is it an inevitable part of toddlerhood? Should I "brace"?! I know their son has always had a fairly dominant "alpha" personality, whereas my son is more laid back, so I am hoping a lot of it is a function of personality. I mean, I know all toddlers push boundaries, but do they do it all the time and behave so 'aggressively'??

Not all toddlers behave aggressively (mine doesn't) but he has other scary traits LOL! Like he is an escape artist, and he has a hot temper towards me (no one else funnily enough!) and he is a dare devil (climbs and does crazy extreme stuff outside and inside!).

But he's not aggressive. All kids push boundaries and its our job to be there to help them understand those boundaries. Some kids take longer to learn that and others just seem to prefer boundaries so get it straight away. And just remember toddlerdom doesn't just spring itself its a gradual progress so by the time he is a toddler you'll be well equipped and ready to handle it.

I personally LOVE toddlerdom, even with the challenging behaviour.

Today is not a good day to ask me this question.. lol... I'll see if tomorrow DS still has ears that are painted on ;)

I agree, not all of them are aggressive, but most of them are full on.

For me, mine have been full on in different ways. My daughter at that age was "into everything" - I couldn't take her anywhere without scanning constantly for things she would put in her mouth - be it on the floor, or anything within her reach really. She was a mouther, and between 12 months and about 2.5 when she outgrew it, it was a full time job to make sure she didn't choke, or stick something dangerous in her gob. :rolleyes: She would also be in people's cupboards and pulling out their underwear if I took my eyes off her for 2 seconds. She is inquisitive and even now at nearly 5, she still has that streak though now she understands (a bit) better what is socially acceptable and what isn't.

My son is physically full on - he is loud and energetic, everywhere all at once. If I take my eyes off him for two seconds he's hanging by his fingernails off something, or he is headed 10 miles up the street. So he is demanding in a different way.

It's scary when you watch it, but honestly, once your child is that this stage you seem to develop a radar and you just automatically deal with it - like your friends did.

And it's certainly not all bad ! At this age they really get to be fun too, and much more interesting ;)

I thought toddlerhood was hard although my toddlers weren't so much aggressive as like a PP said daredevilish always climbing or jumping off things resulting in trips to the hospital for repair work.

I've now discovered that teenagers are much more scary!! Give me the toddlers back any day...so don't be too scared try and enjoy toddlerhood you'll have plenty of time to be scared when the teens roll around :lol:

DD was no worries and very placid. We're yet to see how DS will be...

From playgroup experiences, they are all sooo different and there are definately some that are more 'full on' than others.

I also think that it's easy to be put off by other peoples kids, but because you love your own it might not seem as bad when you get there. :)