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DS is 14m and about 11 kgs. I have the ergo, and I am good to carry DS on my back, but DH doesn't like it, and I am struggling to wear DS atm, and I was wondering if there were any suggestions for what we could try?
We like wearing DS, but I need them both to be comfortable...
Many thanks!!!
What is it that your DH doesn't like about the Ergo? If he likes the general 'concept' of the Ergo but it's not a good fit for him, there are other SSCs (soft structured carriers) that you can try.
Do you think that the reason that you are having problems carrying at the moment predominately because you are pregnant? Ergos and other SSCs are not really good for wearing during pregnancy as the waist band digs in, they are also really hard to get comfy worn lower as your centre of gravity changes. Although I haven't yet worn a child whilst pregnant, I know people who find greater comfort with woven wraps, mei tais, or onbuhimos (Japanese carrier similar to a mei tai but with rings where the waist straps would be that the top straps loop into), which can all be tied above the belly for less restrictiveness. If wearing on your back, I think that you want to get your child as high as possible, as this balances your centre of gravity.
If you can give a bit more info about what your DH doesn't like about the Ergo, then it will be easier to recommend something!
Thanks Suse...
DH likes the concept of the ergo, but cant get comfortable with DS. I think DH is a bit wide in the back, and we never get it right WRT height, and he is frustrated with it.
AFM, I need to wear it low with the belly, and as you say that throws out my center of gravity and DS is too low and doesn't like it. And I cant do long periods as I get tired, but I miss wearing him. But the ergo is so quick and easy, and convenient...
When you say that your DH can't get it right WRT height, do you mean that your DS is too low on his back (ie: that your DS prefers being higher, eg: so that he can see over the shoulder)? Because the Ergo is worn on the hips, it is harder to get babies high on the back as you can with a mei tai or wrap. Has your DH tried wearing the Ergo higher up on his waist?
Where does your DH experience discomfort? In his back, or in his shoulders? Has he been wearing your DS quite a bit, and still finds it uncomfortable? It does take a while to get the muscles used in babywearing used to it. Many people who go from front carrying comfortably to back carrying an older baby find some discomfort at first, if they have not been back carrying from an early age.
Sorry to fire a whole bunch of really specific questions at you, but depending on what your DH is experiencing there may be some tweaks you can try to make it more comfortable.
How do you get your DS onto your DH's back? If you are putting DS on the back and then pulling the body of the carrier over him he may not be seated well, he may be too high up in the seat and not in the pouch of the seat. This will put more weight on the shoulders rather than on the hips.
I usually hip scoot with a carrier, ie: put the carrier so that the body is on my hip, put DS on my hip, pull the carrier over his body, bounce him a few times to get him nicely seated, then scoot him around onto my back with the carrier (helps if the waist is loosened a titch more than usual, I then tighten it up when I'm done), pulling the shoulder straps on as I go. Leaning forward a bit, I then bounce and tighten the shoulder straps if need be. Although with an Ergo, most people prefer to wear them a little looser, as this transfers the weight onto the hips, when tighter it puts more weight onto the shoulders.
If he tries these things and still doesn't find it comfortable, other SSCs that may suit would be the toddler Patapum or the Yamo. Both are available online in Australia (not sure of anywhere that sells IRL). Another suggestion would be a Pikkolo with the support belt, or a Beco, but these are usually preferred by narrow shouldered wearers so may not suit your DH if he is broad in the shoulders and / or back. There are heaps of others out there that are not so readily available in Australia, so I won't suggest these as a first option.
Unfortunately I don't have any suggestions for use of the Ergo during pregnancy, hopefully someone who has used them whilst pregnant will have some tips. Some manage to wear them comfortably during pregnancy, but many don't (this goes for most SSCs), and a lot of people who continue to babywear during pregnancy turn to alternative carrier types during this time. If you do like the ease of the Ergo, the next easiest to use would be a mei tai or onbuhimo (especially an onbu), but onbus are not easy to find. If you sew, or know someone who does, they are quite easy to make though.
HTH!
Thanks Suse. You have the best advice!!!
We are going to try the ergo out again on the weekend at home and go for a short walk and see if we can get it working for DH. I think maybe some of the p[problem is me trying to do it for him, but I am going to show DH the DVD and get him to do it alone. I think this might help. And If I am not using it for a while we can leave the straps for DH.
I have a long wrap, which I might try with DS myself, but I think the material might be a bit stretchy for him now. I was thinking about a mei tie, but need to get mum to make this. Jan Andrea best place for patterns? And spotters for fabric, I think you can get duck cloth there... But the onbuhimo looks cool. Are there patterns on the web for this? And do you use a similar fabric? Off to google and see what I can find!!!
Yep, there's some excellent patterns hosted on Jan Andrea's site. I've made a BBO, which is a very easy pattern to make, and it wears very comfortably too. Or there is the Scandi style MT which is a bit more complex but yields very good results.
As for onbus, there is one on the Jan Andrea site, which uses a body and straps made from a place mat and table runner. The straps are similar to that of a BBO. I would be more inclined to use more supportive materials though, especially if you are carrying a toddler. I don't know of any other specific patterns, but you can adapt a preferred mei tai pattern to suit (probably one with an unpadded waist would work better). It's generally preferable to use small sized sling rings (these can be purchased from Sling Rings in the US - it's google-able). The weewuns here do sell sling rings which they import from Sling Rings, but I don't know that I've ever seen them stock the small sized rings.
Perhaps the Beco would be a good choice for him? I know my daughter didn't care to be carried on my back either, but I have not tried this ssc yet. Hope this helps.