controlled crying in a shared bedroom

Hi,

I have a 10mth old and a 2 yr old that share a room, the 10mth old is still waking at night, i can give her a small bottle or a full bottle then she goes back to sleep.

So i dont think shes actually hungry i think she has just in a habit.

My problem is that because they share a room how do i go about controlled crying with her.

I am so tired i get no real sleep i get so angry when she wakes up (i know its not her fault im just dog tired) i need help to find a way to snap her out of this habit.

during the day she sleep in porta cot in my room and DS sleeps in his room for his nap. works fine then its just the night time one i dont know how to handle.

Any tips or tricks would be appreciated

Thanks in Advance
Meegm :rolleyes:

Hi Meegm,

I don't think there is any trick that will "snap her out of the habit". It is entirely possible that she does need a feed overnight - what time does she normally wake for this? How long since her last feed? Of course, you know her best and you're the best judge of whether she's hungry or not but it's normal for babies to wake until they're 12 months or older for a feed overnight. Even if she's not hungry, she could just want the comfort iykwim?

I don't have any specific advice about controlled crying but I do want to recommend a book called "No cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It's fantastic. It allows you to use a variety of different gentle parenting techniques to help your baby sleep longer and work out if she's hungry or not. It's not a quick fix and it doesn't advocate controlled crying. But you will get more sleep eventually.

she cant sleep in your room during the night too??? just till u get the CC down pat?

Kaz - She usually wakes up at about 1am - ill look into that book also thank you

Mumma Mia - thats the other problem DH gets up at 5 to go to work - so its like im trying to keep the whole house from being woken up.. im fighting a few different battles..

during the day she goes in our room for her nap... and it work well but its the night time we havnt got sussed yet...

But as Kaz said she may just still need a bottle and prolly becuase my boy didnt - he was great slept well, no stranger anziety, not clingy but my little DD..........You see I know now better than what i have experienced with him...

I usually stay on the lounge until she wakes up so i dont wake DH up getting up and down aswell...

Meegm, no advice as I have no idea what cry-it-out involves (other than crying obviously lol), but wanted to give you a hug from one sleep deprived mother to another. I've been pretty desperate for some sleep as well (and my partner gets up at 5am for work each day so I know the feeling).

I have worked on the No-Cry Sleep Solution, and it went great for 2 weeks then down the hill. Yesterday we noticed two sore red and pretty nasty looking bumps on her gums, two molars at once! Oh boy! So at the moment its more about riding the wave with Jazz than trying to make her sleep. Is it possible you little one is teething? I know its probably been a while since you slept through (since before December for me, so I really DO know how you feel), but some bubs really do suffer through teething. I always feel very jealous for myself AND Jazz when I hear of mums who just 'find' teeth in their bubs mouths, while I check multiple times a day to see if Jazzy's are even close to breaking through :wall:

To tell the truth though, and keep in mind i know very little about CIO techniques, but I can't see it working while she is sharing a room with anyone. Any other issues aside, your poor boy wouldn't get ANY sleep either, and would probably make your days even harder dealing with two overtired little ones. Just what I assume would happen anyway.

Hope you get some sleep soon :hug: :hug:


BTW: At least one wake-up is common and entirely normal until they are 2 years old, so I am told, so its possible that she DOES need you during the night. My daughter wakes multiple times a night and expects a feed, she barely goes 2 hours, so THATS habit.
One feed during the night is normal and sometimes necessary, remember their stomachs are TINY and babies do so much growing in their first few years. If it is once or twice during the night I wouldn't personally try to cut it out. A lot of the time they really do need it.

Thanks Leasha I appreciate your post - like i said i think ive been ruined by my extra good baby to not know that this is normal for her......

I guess i need to learn to deal with it - i found that helped after i havd my 1st - after suffering for the first 2 weeks i was like "well he needs to be fed just get up and do it" and i was alot better - maybe i need to just try accept this is how she is and not try change her just yet. and Yep shes teething too.... DS got all his young no problems - shes not doing as well as he did either in that department...

amazes me how different they can be straight off the bat with no life experience iykwim...

... ;)

I know, and I truly do know how you feel. Some days people say to me "is she teething" and I could throw the nearest chair at them! LOL! It feels like she's been in perpetual teething since 4 months old, it seriously does do my head in some days!! I have taken her to the dr, in the hope he'll find something wrong, like an ear infection, just so he can pass over the magical cure and we'll all have a decent nights sleep for once.

No such luck so far, which is a blessing of course, being healthy, but doesn't make 2am any easier :wall::wall::wall: You're not alone in this. We'll ride the wave together hehe

OMG I PMSL then that is spot on - dont they .

You sound like me talking so much - and im with you lets ride ...... :dance:

i finally did CC with DD and she shares with her almost 4 yr old brother. I started doing it at around 10 minths as well. We have recently been on holidays so unfort we have had to start again. He doesn't even stir. and she full on screams.

yeah Ive done that a couple of times but when he does wake up I have to go in and get her - the other night i took him into my bed and left her in her room.....

Ladies - how would i know if she was hungry or if it was just her needing the bottle for comfort to go back to sleep.. she doesnt have a bottle to go to sleep normally at her usual bed time.

Hey there. This may not be helpful, but I reckon once a night waking at 10 months is actually not too bad...
You could try putting water in the bottle instead - she may decide that's not worth waking up for if that's all that's on offer, KWIM?
I think the only other way is to try settling without the bottle (which would involve crying). If you want to do this, I'd say put your DS in your room and let DD have the bedroom to herself until you're satisfied with how she's sleeping. CC is really hard to do if you're trying not to wake anyone - make sure your DH is supportive cause it can be a very lonely thing to do.
Having re-read that, I sound very unsupportive of CC, but I did it with Natty. She was waking every hour or two overnight and I was trashed. I really wouldn't recommend it to any of my friends though, and I wouldn't do it again unless I felt there was no other option. Sorry if this post has been unhelpful. If so, just ignore it! :)

Meegm

My two girls have shared a room since my 2nd baby was 3 months old. We did softer version of CC I dont let her cry for long. We only did this during the day, at night I would just give her bottle to settle and rub her tummy and it was enough to stop her from crying.

It is possible for them to share a room it works well for us and they love having someone in the room, makes a difference too you will find as they feel they are not alone, the only downside is they wake up the same time in the morning as one wakes the other.

Long story short my advice based on my experience is only do the CC during the day when your older one is not sleeping in the room that way it will be easier at night.

Hi Snacks - Please No Go for it - I appreciate all views Im trying to work through it myself and dont really know what to do only what other people tell you and what you read so I do appreciate a different opinion.

Hi Mischa, yeah I have been doing that letting her cry through the day and not so much at night - i think ill perserver (? abc) and hopfully things get better soon.

Thanks Ladies