Cancelled c-section. I hope I made the right decision.

As some of you know I had a traumatic first birth and suffered from PTSD from it. Because of this I was able to choose to have a c-section through the public system, after alot of interviews ect. Late last night I called the midwife and cancelled it, I have been feeling guilty lately for choosing to go straight to a c-section. I felt like I faulted myself, my baby, my ds and dh by not trying first, when it could be completely different from the first. I know I would always wonder would it have been different, could I have done it. If I end up having to need a c-section I know at lease I tried. I have a great midwife who is willing to do a waterbirth if I want one or whatever else I want, as long as bub doesn't come on the 8th or 9th because she is away those days. On the otherhand I don't know if it is the right decision. Maybe I should go straight to c-section. I only have until today to change my mind.
Can someone either tell me I'm doing the right thing or I'm an idiot and should have the c-section?

I think good on you - you have listened to your heart and made the right decision for you. As you say, you won't know unless you try and you can still have a c-section if things don't go to 'plan' (I use the term loosely!) during labour.

Best of luck and go the waterbirth if you're allowed to have one - lucky you!!

i think you have made the right decision. It sounds like you would really like to have a VB but are just terrified. If that is the case then perhaps you would regret having a c/s.

A little story. My cousin had a terrible first birth, she was very traumatised by the whole thing. She went and had some counseling and did a lot more preparation for the birth. But she was tossing up a c/s, and if she didn't have a c/s she wanted to have an epi. she had nightmares and was so scared of what might happen. Well, a few weeks ago she went into labour, went to hospital when she felt she needed to. Got there and much to her surprise was 9cm, birthed her little girl 10 minutes later. She said her birth was amazing, so much better than the first and she was so proud and happy that she decided to give VB a go even though she was petrified.

I agree, if you need a c-section you will have have access to one anyway. Vaginally is statistically safer for both you and bubs (unless there is a medical need). I can relate to your current fear though... my first labour was highly traumatic... and put me off getting pregnant again for 9 years (amongst other reasons)... but with my second I found that it still was hard but it wasn't so traumatic because the pain was at least familiar to me. I also didn't bother with a lot of the optional interventions like gas... I found that having a clear head helped me to focus and feel more in control. Also I discovered the best pain relief was a compassionate midwife that stuck with me and gave me back rubs with real care... she actually said to me "My shift finished an hour ago but I'm staying with you until the end" My first labour was surrounded by staff just doing their job and a scared DH... I didn't feel an ounce of compassion from anyone... I think THAT's what really hurt.

Have faith darl... your body will do it's best to birth your baby safely, trust it... you will get to the other side with your baby in your arms and no c-section pain to deal with... visualise it ;)

Im not sure of your details of your traumatic birth with your son. But will share my experience.

I had a traumatic birth with my first induced 12 hours labour but not progressing, drip given 24 hours full labour, Epidural after 12 hours after drip as only 2 cm, pushing stage Julia got stuck ended up in emergency c/s. My recovery was not good and got PND from the traumatic birth and feeding issues. So I chose with Tara's birth I would have c/section - best thing I ever did was see a counsellor to prepare myself for the birth and separate this birth from Julia's traumatic one. My recovery only took 3 days and no painkillers and it was such a happy experience.

If you feel you wish and have the strength to have the birth you want for your child you were unable to give your son I would go for natural birth first. I just wanted to share that my 2nd birth was a good experience even though I opted for elective c/s, I didnt have the mental strength to try another vaginal birth.

Best wishes for your decision.

Good luck. I think it is best for you to try, at least then you can look back and say you gave it all you could. Wishing you the birth experience you deserve. You have made a brave decision!!! :goodluck:

Good on you hun - it's not an easy decision to make, but I am sure that with the support from your midwife you will be able to do it, and you will be very pleased that you did :hug:

Thank you everyone for your support and encouragement. I feel more confident with my decision this afternoon. :D

I remember your story mum2 and can understand why you were considering going straight for a c/section. I applaud your strength and courage at choosing a vbac (I'm assuming that is what you have chosen from your last response :lol: )

While my story is different I know that next time I want to try for a vbac. I know this time will be different as the circumstances will be different, my preperation will be different I will be more informed. I might end up with a c/section again but at least I know that I tried....

I don't think you failed, you were failed, that is the system failed you in soooo soooo many ways... I hope you find the peace and healing you deserve with this birth :hug:

Hi Kelebek. I haven't had a c-section before, so no vbac here. Harrison was a vb birth, with an attempted vacuum extraction, an episiotomy, then an assisted forceps birth. I am hoping this birth is better, I don't think I could cope with another birth like the last, but I will try and pray for the best. The circumstances this time are different too. I have been seeing the same midwife since about 30 weeks, she is through the hospital but has been doing home visits each week, she will be at the birth the whole time, and I trust her. Which I think will help alot, and is a large reason why I have chosen to attempt a vb. Last time I was at 2 different hospitals, had a large number midwifes and didn't trust any of them, mainly because none of them listened to anything I said or told me anything that was happening. Thanks for your reply.

i havent had a c-s but i just wanted to say.
I was very shellshocked at #1 birth.
i didnt know anyone in the birthing room (all 9 of them! yes 9) - DH walked in when she was crowning as no one contacted him. And i was in a hospital 150km from home.

The birth itself wasnt medically traumatic - but i do remember just feeding DD and then DH would hold her for the first few hours as i lay there trying to take in what just happened.

No. #2 was such a happier and wonderful experience. Again it was all against the grain - he was born on our bedroom floor, but i was much more relaxed, and at peace with the birth, i had DH with me this time during labour (which i missed out on with #1) and it was wonderful.

SO i guess what i am trying to say is second births do not always follow the first ones.
When i think of #2 birth i get very nostaligic and clucky pmsl!

xx
go with your heart and you will make the right decision,
xx

I'm sorry Mum2 for mixing up your story, I remembered that you had the issues with the 2 hospitals and that everything about the birth was hugely traumatic and I mixed a c/section into that. I am glad that you have the same midwife following you this time and she sounds really supportive.

Goodluck and look forward to seeing a BA :lol:

I'm so happy you are making an informed choice.

Awesome :)
Hey, it's a different pregnancy, a different baby, a different birth :)

kelebek - That's okay. Thanks for your replies. :D

Thanks Gillian & Mayaness.

They are going to induce me on the 10th if she doesn't come by then. So hopefully she decides to make her way out before then.

Follow your heart :)

Good luck with an amazing birth - c-section or not!

Just wanted to say good luck for a beautiful birth. I think you made the right decision. :)

How exciting! Either way you will be holding this amazing gift. My hope will be for you to have a beautiful natural childbirth. Be strong and we'll be thinking of you. Keep us posted and if you have baby by the 10th let us know if not I've marked the date on my calendar and will keep you in prayer.