Sharing my wee triumph

When we brought Tom home from the hospital, he was a pretty good sleeper for a newborn. He woke two or three times a night for a feed, but would go straight to sleep afterwards. Never had to pace the hallways or anything. He had good long naps during the day, too.

As he became more and more alert, his sleep got worse and worse. It deteriorated to the point where last week he was waking every hour or two around the clock, and not settling in his cot at all (which was living at the end of our bed). He won't cosleep, and gets terribly upset if anything is touching his face or his head when he sleeps.

I had a bit of a crisis over it all on the weekend, because an autoimmune problem that affects my eyes flared up again and was really exacerbated by the lack of sleep, plus I was having constant bad headaches and even a migraine. I couldn't parent my other kids effectively, and the thought of three or four more months of it just made me literally weep. My milk supply was suffering, too, because I was so tired.

When I was at the doctor's for my eyes, she mentioned sleep school and my gentle parenting self just went, nuh-uh, not doing controlled crying, especially not on a four month old! But I had a look at the website for the Queen Elizabeth Centre and they have podcasts there for hints on getting baby to sleep. To my delight, they are gentle parenting nighttime training pointers, not CC. Some of them were common sense - the bedtime routine, looking out for sleepy signs, etc - but some of them I hadn't heard like when you go in to comfort your baby, don't lean over the cot to do it, put your arms through the bars or they think they're going to be picked up and get upset. You can google them quite easily, the QEC is in Noble Park, Melbourne.

I also abandoned the swaddle, as Tom was getting very frustrated with it and couldn't soothe himself by sucking on his fingers or move around. Clare was swaddled til she was six months - another example of how each child is different and we do best when we listen to our individual kids. Even after six kids, or maybe especially after six kids, it is easy to get complacent and think you know everything a baby needs!

I also decided that we were probably disturbing Tom with our snoring and tossing and turning, so we put his cot in dh's study. (That made me weepy, sleeping that far away from my baby :( even though it's the room next to ours!!)

The first night, I did the "shhh shhh" thing with him, patting the mattress next to his head in a heartbeat rhythm, and he settled himself off really well. He woke up an hour later, but I was in the middle of reading a bedtime story to one of the other kids and since he was only grizzling a bit, I let him go and he settled himself off. He slept for four straight hours, then another four hours after a feed!

He is now settling himself down to sleep for his naps really nicely and is back into a routine:
5.30am - 6, feed, then straight back to sleep
7.00am - up with the rest of the family, with maybe another little feed
9.00am - sleep
10.00am - play
11.30am - short nap
12.00pm - feed, play
2.30pm - feed, sleep
4.00pm - play
6.30pm - bedtime starts - bath, massage, sits on my bed quietly while I tidy up my room, bedtime story, then feed.
7.30pm - bedtime
10.30pm - dream feed
2.00am - feed

He's much happier (as am I!) and it is so good, even waking up at 2.30am feels like bliss compared to what was happening. I'm a bit sad that he's not in my room any more, but it's worth it. He still sometimes falls asleep at the breast, but that's okay. And last night he woke up at 4 soaking wet and freezing cold, and I brought him into bed with me where he proceeded to stick his little ice block hands all over my tummy, argh, but that's okay too.

Hooray Toomanytoomany!!! That sounds like a BIG triumph!!!! Great work!!!

:happyforyou:

Off to google QEC - thanks for the tip!

Hooray!

We had to move DD out of our room too (*sniff*). She sleeps soooooooo much better in the other room, and we still get to bring her into our bed every couple of nights! It makes it seem like a special treat then too, rather than the exhausted..."oh goodness, just let me sleep" strategy it used to be.

I am so happy for you!!!

Sounds like we had the same baby for a bit there TM!! Elijah was shocking for about 2 wks... was waking every two hours but one night was every hour and even less a few times! Was doing my head in but he seems to have come through the other side I hope!! I also stopped wrapping him. Went from FULLY wrapped to not at all in one day! lol DH read somewhere about when they hit milestones (like the finger sucking) it can really throw them and their brains go into overdrive if they wake up a bit. I've now got Elijah in grobags just like Oskar so it's actually easier anyway cos I know how to dress Oskar comfortably in them so I do the same and they both seem to be comfy. As for the arms through the cot bars...wow!!! Makes sense and yeah just the other night I leant over to Oskar and he got more upset whereas cos he's still in our room too (yes both of them hehe) I usually lean over and put my arm through and he settles again heaps better than over. Elijah is in the hammock so we just go and bounce it but stand off to the side and no peeking in!!! lol. So good to hear you're doing better now :)