Things are going down hill..
Ok so i thought i was kinda getting past everything and moving on from xp and what he put me through but it just keeps flairing up.. everytime he's too busy to come over to see dd, even when he does come over, his cluelessness as to what ive been through and continue to go through aggravates me and hurts so much. he couldnt come last week cuz he had to finish an assignment for tafe ..hello an hour or so of one day a week you see her you cant even do that..arghh vent i mean if he knew he had to have it done y dont you get it done b4 hand grr
Ive been feeling selfish that i cant stand him being around even though i always invite him to see her and come around and visit dd. i feel like its taking me over im sick of feeling like this. i cant stand it know one understands. i feel bad for even talking about it because apparently i shouldnt feel this way i should just be the perfect mum who has no feelings and just 'get over it' trust me i wish i could.
I was having such a great week last week, ive started up at the gym, doing things for me etc, but i dont know its just al gone donehill today..i just feel really down
my friends have asked me to come out next weekend for a bday but im really not ready for the whole party/club scene nor do i feel i ever will etc. i have guilt at leaving DD at all . nor do i really want to, i feel like just running away with my little girl somewhere far away..
(sorry for my rant.. needed to get it off my chest)