Tabitha's birth story... it's a little late :)
This is only a year old LOL I've had bits and pieces written down but the anniversary of her birth was really the incentive to get it all down on screen/paper, and of course, it's long, but I don't "do" summarised birth stories!
When I got pregnant for the second time, our son was only 9 months old, and I knew it could be quite challenging having such a small child and being pregnant. Everyone I told commented how I?d ?have my hands full? or words to that effect - but we?d always planned to have our children close together, and everything went fairly smoothly until 30 weeks, when my FIL arrived unexpectedly to stay indefinitely, which raised my stress levels somewhat! Anyway we sorted things out with that and by the time the baby was due, things were more or less back to normal and I was looking forward to another low-intervention, drug-free birth at the birth centre.
As with Sebastian, I was convinced the baby would come early (he didn?t, and she didn?t - I?ve since decided it is probably wishful thinking!!) At 39+1, I had some fairly regular BH and we went to the beach for a long walk, which did nothing except make me tired! By this time my MIL was also staying and S had really taken to her, so I was feeling quite calm about leaving him with her (we?d never left him overnight before, so this was a big thing for all of us).
In my last week of pregnancy we took advantage of the ?live-in babysitter? and went for nightly walks around the suburb after S had gone to sleep. BH were strong but painless during these walks, and I?m not sure it did much to bring on labour, but it was still nice to get out and spend some time with M, as the previous couple of months had been quite full-on and we?d not really had a lot of time to ourselves.
Friday morning arrived, I was 39+6, and drove M to work as usual. Fridays are his half-day, and we planned to do some food shopping that afternoon - just to stock up on a few things so we wouldn?t have to go out once the baby came. By the time I got home, I had a feeling things were moving along in the labour department - the BH which had been strong recently had started to become a bit more painful, but were still very irregular. I mentioned nothing to my MIL (she had been a bit disappointed with the ?false alarm? the weekend before, and had said twice that perhaps I could have the baby sometime soon... and, you?re right if you?re thinking this didn?t go down terribly well with a very pregnant woman who had had to put up with her FIL and PILs? subsequent marital issues towards the end of her pregnancy... but I was very patient - at that point. It was only after the baby was born that I blew up at her, and that?s a WHOLE other story which has nothing to do with my beautiful baby girl!!)
I made sure I tried to sit and rest as much as I could, and halfway through the morning I went to have a shower as my back had started to get painful. I also double checked my bag, and went over the stuff I?d written out for MIL about S (general routine etc, although she?d been there almost 10 days and so kind of knew what was going on). This was so much more organised than I was with S? labour!! But I guess I had an idea of what to expect.
At 11 am I set off to get M, and as I drove onto the verge outside his work, the first contraction hit. ?Good timing!? I thought to myself, but also doubted if it was going to be the real thing. I mentioned to M when he got in the car that I thought I was in labour, and then on the way home I had two more contractions (it?s less than a 15 minute drive), so I let myself get a bit excited.
At home again, I texted my parents to let them know that the contractions were about 10 minutes apart. Dad texted back ?Hang in there! Love, Dad.? M had lunch (I do believe I actually made it for him - must have been slightly delirious with anticipation of my pregnancy finally being over!) and I went in the shower and also paced around outside. I didn?t want to be near anyone; as with S? labour, I wanted to withdraw into myself and be alone to breathe and look up at the sky and marvel at how the world just keeps on turning, even though I?m pacing and my body is going through this incredible thing which it does all by itself. I sat in the kitchen for a bit and said to my MIL, ?this bit isn?t so bad. But I just hate that I know that they?ll get worse!? She smiled and empathised.
I also rang the birth centre and told them I was happy to labour at home for a while. They agreed and told me to call in an hour. After 45 minutes the contractions were starting to get close, and painful. I found it too hot outside (it was a beautiful spring day but the labour was making me warm) and was in our bedroom and pacing the little passageway, breathing and still feeling strong. I paged the midwife team and had to give M the phone when they rang back as I was in the middle of a contraction and couldn?t speak! They said for us to come in. I rang my parents - they had already left and were expecting to get to Perth mid-afternoon! I couldn?t help feeling a bit surprised, but I was glad they were coming.
I kissed S goodbye and he came to the loungeroom window to look out as we drove out the driveway. He was a little upset that we were leaving, and it was all I could do not to cry... I really didn?t want to leave him!
The trip to the birth centre seemed to take forever. M knew the way but still needed some directions (I usually drive when we go out) and I was muttering to him in between contractions and holding onto the seat and the door handle and hoping I wouldn?t be sick. We arrived at 2:40. I?d only been in labour for 3.5 hours but I was starting to get over it by now. I should mention that by this stage I was also feeling a little duped, because I was under the (obviously very misguided) impression that the second labour would be less painful. I honestly don?t know where I got this idea, and I can?t say how disappointed I was to discover that if anything it hurt MORE and what?s more seemed to be happening much quicker ... I?ve since heard that that?s the trade-off... quicker and more intense. Or that?s the plan, at least!
M pulled up the car right in front of the door and the midwife opened the passenger?s door as I was having a contraction. I knew her from my first pregnancy and liked her a lot. She waited to talk to me until the contraction was over, and then helped me out, asking if the ice cream container on the floor was in case of a spew or to put the placenta in?!!
They led us in and we were lucky to get the same room as we?d had last time :) M set the bags down, as I paced around a bit, relishing how cold the floors were on my bare feet. I?d noticed a young man hovering about near Judy and when she came back in, she introduced him (poor fellow, I?ve completely forgotten his name) as a student midwife. Would it be OK if he observed the birth?
I brushed the question aside. Of course, no problem. Really, who cared? I just wanted to walk and breathe and have them tell me I was fully dilated and could push (again, I was to be disappointed!)
Judy asked if I would like her to check my dilation and I agreed, getting onto the bed in between contractions and thinking how fantastic it was that she had such cold hands as she palpated my belly. I was 4 cm - better than nothing but still less than I?d hoped. She asked what I would like to do, and I decided to go into the shower.
The hot water was a godsend, but I had also started to get to the ?moaning? stage. This is the part where I moan through the contractions (but shouldn?t be confused with the ?all-out yelling/screaming? stage, when the baby is crowning and I don?t know how on earth it?s going to get out. More on that later).
I started to get tired, and asked for a beanbag, which they brought. I managed to lie over it while letting the water play on my lower back. This was also the point at which I said that I wanted it to be over (it will be, soon), when would it be over (soon, not long now), please could she tell me I could push (your body will tell you when it?s time), until during one contraction I felt a pop inside and figured my waters had broken, and thought, ?right. let?s get serious now.?
I asked for the birthing stool as I?d had it with S and felt it would be a good move again. Once I was sitting up, Judy checked the baby?s heartbeat again - ?she?s doing fine! She?s very happy!? ?Good for her,? I muttered, not very good-naturedly, but it did get a laugh out of Judy and the student midwife.
The water was still playing on my back, and Judy had said that during actual birth I would need to turn it off... I imagine so that I didn?t drown my poor child as her head emerged. Whatever the reason, I wasn?t impressed, but I also slyly reasoned that once they turned the water off, then it would be almost over! Sure enough, the incredible urge to push seemed to come on all at once, and the water was turned off... my relief that I was nearly there was dampened though, as every time I pushed, the baby would come down birth passage, but seemed to go back up again. This is when the screaming stage started.
Inevitably, she crowned, that familiar ?how the hell is this happening to me and I don't actually believe that a baby can fit out of me? pain, and then it was very quick - I put my hand down as I felt sure I was tearing... in hindsight I don?t really know how my hand being there was going to stop it, but it didn?t matter, because with two pushes, she was out, and sitting on my knee, and screaming. I knew she would be a screamer.
And it was over. The student midwife had been motioning for M to come over and watch her being born, but M was wise to all the horrors of blood and other excretia, having witnessed it with S? birth and taking several weeks to recover(!); once he heard her crying, though, he appeared in front of us, ready to cut the cord. She didn?t get quite as long with it attached as S had, since it was a little caught up inside, so once she was ?free?, I cuddled her to me and she grizzled at me until I offered her a feed. She took to it like a pro, and the midwife settled me down on the beanbag with a pillow and a blanket, while we waited for the placenta.
The student midwife was beaming. ?Wow. That was amazing. Thank you so much.?
I smiled and asked if it was his first birth. He nodded. I felt so strong, so happy, that his first birth as a midwife had been drug-free, complication-free, and in the shower. M and I chatted to him while M texted Mum and Dad and other friends and family to let them know the news. He had been in the army previously (as a nurse) and on leaving had gone into midwifery. His wife was also a midwife. He told us how he?d been texting her as they set up the room to get ready for our arrival, and Judy had explained all the stuff she was putting in (fit ball, beanbag, etc) to give me the all the options I might want. His wife texted back from the private hospital she was at, observing births with an obstetrician. ?All births will be on the bed, no exceptions.? It made me both grateful and sad at the same time.
The afterpains had started by now and considering I didn?t have them with S, this was another surprise I was unprepared for. T was feeding very well, and the placenta fairly shot out, all complete and fine. The fear that I?d teared was realised, but nothing requiring stitching, and it was mostly due to this, my midwife suggested, that I bled a little more than expected - again, nothing too sinister, and it didn?t stop me from feeling that incredible high of natural birth.
We stayed overnight but wanted to get back home as soon as we could - they were reluctant to let us out because there was no paed to check T over. As it turned out, they ended up with more labouring women than there were rooms, so by 5 am the next morning they got the paediatric registrar himself to come down, and we were free to go by 5.45, just over 12 hours since she had been born.
Today, Tabitha turned one year old. She walks, and says Mama and Dada, and waves goodbye, and plays peek-a-boo, and giggles with her brother. In the last year I?ve been surprised over and over how incredibly fantastic it is to have a girl! The colic and the separation anxiety notwithstanding, she?s a funny, happy child and I love that this is just the beginning.
