How do you do it..

Hi all,

I've been TTC for nearly 2 years now. Im only 21 and have been diagnosed with PCOS. I'm on metformin at the moment and am just waiting for AF to rear her ugly head before i can start on Clomid.

I've just found out my siser in law is pregnant for a third time. It was a once off, not trying or anything, the first time she and my brother in law had sex for a while and bam! straight off the mark. They dont even want they baby (they're not giving it up, it was just unplanned and unwanted at this stage in their lives). I've been a wreck all day. I just want a baby of my own. It was supposed to be MY turn! I know i should be, but i cant even be happy for her. Im just riddled with jealousy, anger, envy, saddness and longing all at the same time and i just cant take it. I've only been pregnant once, and i lost it before i could even see the heartbeat and here she is, with a heartbeat and a due date and I think I hate her a little for that.

Im constantly reminded of the fact that i cant seem to get pregnant and there are babies and toddlers and pregnant people all around me and i just dont know how much more i can take of not having one of my own. Its not that my sister in law is a bad person or anything, she loves her 2 girls but its her whole attitude about it that irks me. and i have no one to talk to about it because no one in my family or my OH's family has had to go through this.

I dont know.. :(

Oh darl it's a s*** isn't it!? I don't have siblings and my brotherinlaw is in a relationship rut right now, so although all my friends have 1/2/3 children or are pregnant with 1 or twins, I don't have anyone so close to home. I can only imagine how frustrating and awkward it can be.

You can always offload on here though....it's cathartic

Good luck with Clomid. Some people are very lucky with it straight away so fingers crossed.

big hugs, it's so tough when people fall pregnant easily around you, while you are left waiting and sad. It's hard to simply feel happy for them, and honestly, most people don't know what it's like unless they've been in our shoes. look after yourself. good luck